Come Love, See my hands
by SierraMarie057
Summary: Bella just broke up with her fiance Mike, now Edward steps in, but she has something she needs everyone to know.. A story about truth, love, acceptance, and realizing the truly important things in life. R&R, please!
1. FreshWounds,CleanBandages,&AKindWord

"**Come love, See my hands."**

**Chapter One - Fresh Wounds, Clean Bandages, And a Kind Word.**

**Edward's POV**

There she was again, quite possibly the most beautiful woman I had ever laid my eyes on. Isabella Swan, pianist, songwriter, and singer at the Seattle Academy of Music. She had been coming into the coffee shop for the past two years, the same one I had been occupying for two years prior to her arrival here in Seattle. She had never been very talkative, but something about her lack of speaking, long dark hair, and mysterious eyes kept me constantly focused on her. Every time she walked through that door, she was the only thing I saw.

"I'll have my usual." She smiled politely at Alice, the owner of the very coffee shop we both sat in right this moment. Alice responded enthusiastically, quickly making her drink.

"Thanks." She replied, as Alice sat the drink in front of her. As she laid her money on the counter she looked around nervously, our eyes catching each others momentarily, were they stayed for a few seconds, before she turned her attention back to the task at hand.

"So, Bella, how's everything going with you and your fiancé Mike?" Alice asked, arching an eyebrow suggestively. Of course, I thought, someone as beautiful as her _had_ to have a boyfriend. What would possibly be keeping her from it? I heard her sigh lightly from where I sat at the front counter.

"We, uh. We broke up, last night." She said, almost inaudibly, from where I was sitting, as she ran a hand through her wavy hair, shaking it lightly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Alice said, patting the back of her hand from behind the counter. "What happened? Everything seemed to be going so well. And what about your recording contract?"

"I've kind of known it's been over for a while. I could tell he wasn't ready to be married, anyway. I think the whole proposal was just his last resort in trying to get me into his bed. Besides, what good is a recording contract you only got because you were dating the son of the studio owner? Now that I think about it, it was almost insulting." She spoke with confidence, but something about the look in her eye was telling me that she was on the verge of tears, and that she had really cared about this Mike character. I saw her slowly start to back away from the counter, a sign that she was about to leave, Alice's face grew solemn. It was only seconds before I saw her quickly wipe a tear from her eye, before she practically bolted from the coffee shop. I watched her figure move around the corner, where she stopped, falling to the ground, sat up next to the side of the building. Away from wandering eyes, at least the pairs that hadn't been following her.

"Is she going to be alright?" I walked up to the counter, almost shouting at Alice over the rumble of conversation happening at the counter, coming from the long line of people waiting for their morning coffee.

"I don't know," She shouted over the growing noise. "Could you check on her for me?' She asked, I nodded, grabbed her coffee she had left on the counter, and headed outside, following the footsteps I had just watched her take. I walked around the corner, and saw her sitting on the ground, her knees hugged to her chest. I took in, not for the first time, her sense of style, which consisted of usually a dress with tights and a cardigan. Even if she wore the same dress with the same cardigan more than once it always looked different, more unique every time.

"Are you alright?" I asked, sitting beside her just around the corner of the coffee shop. She was sitting on the ground in the alley, I handed her the coffee she had left inside, she moved it from my hand and quickly wiped a tear from her cheek. Her face stayed fixated on the park across the street. I extended my hand to her.

"I'm Edward, by the way…" I trailed.

"Bella." She said, flatly. Her eyes still fixated on the playground. She had stopped crying, and at least a few minutes had passed in absolute silence. My eyes met the same spot that hers did, and I watched as several children laughed and ran amongst themselves, carefree, and unaware.

"What I'd give to be a kid again…" She murmured, almost inaudible.

"You still can be…" I replied, patting her shoulder. I stood up, offering her my hand to help her up. She took it willingly.

"What do you mean?" She said, as she stood next to me, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I'll show you sometime…" I said, her eyes grew skeptic as she bit her lip and looked toward the road.

"I, uh…. I better get to my class…" She said nervously.

"Alright. I'll see you around?" I said.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks for bringing me my coffee…" She trailed.

"No problem.." I said, before the both of us walked separate directions. I entered the coffee shop again, and was met with Alice's voice.

"Is she alright?" She asked.

"For now.." I ordered a to-go cup of coffee, and she placed it in front of me.

"Thanks, for going out there… I owe you one." She said, and I nodded.

"It was no problem.." I turned to leave.

"Oh, Edward, I almost forgot. Jasper got that new job! So I'm planning him a surprise party, you should come. And maybe this time you can bring someone other than a work friend…" Her eyebrow arched. And I laughed.

"I'll work on it…" I said before walking out the door and heading towards the restaurant I worked in downtown. I'd been working there for at least two years, and I was simultaneously putting myself through culinary school, which I had graduated from a few months ago. I was only waiting for a building to open up downtown, before I started my own Italian restaurant with the money I had recently received from my father, after his passing. I walked inside, and sat at the front of the restaurant, finishing my coffee before heading to the kitchen to get to work.

**Bella's POV**

To the outside world, being upset about my break up with Mike may have seemed ridiculous…

But to me, he had ripped everything in my life away from me…

Our secret that we'd kept for so long, was bound to come out sooner or later…

And I could only blame myself for listening to him, for actually going through with what I had.

How could I have chosen him over my own child, how could I have done it?

I felt a tear slip out as I reached the front door of my apartment, I stepped inside, setting the bags of groceries I'd just acquired on the kitchen counter.

I changed my clothes, exchanging my dress for a tank top, sweats, and a cardigan. I un-packed the groceries, and made myself dinner. I stood from the kitchen table, and made my way towards the living room. I couldn't take it anymore. I fell to the ground, sobs shaking my entire frame. I wished for a second chance, but it was too late for those. I wished for my baby, for some miracle that would place her back inside of me, where she we safe, and warm, and loved, and alive. I stayed there on the kitchen floor wishing for a lot less silence in my 2 bedroom Seattle apartment. Wishing for interaction of any kind, wishing for something to look forward too. Anything.

The next morning I woke around eight, I showered, dressed, and started my five minute walk to the Alice's coffee shop. Alice and I had become close friends since I'd arrived in Seattle, and even she didn't know about me and Mike's secret. I'd been too careful for too long about making sure she didn't find out, that I had no idea how to go about telling her… even now that I didn't owe anything to Mike. I stepped inside the door and recognized the man who had talked to me yesterday. Alice was sitting at the corner table, today was her day off, and Jasper's younger sister, Rose, was behind the counter, working the morning rush. I got my coffee from Rose, and walked over to the table Alice was sitting at.

"Hey, Alice." I said, sitting down. She put down the magazine she had been reading, realizing someone was in front of her.

"Bella! I was so worried about you! Are you alright, I really meant to talk to you yesterday, it's just that the rush came in and I - " I cut her off.

"Alice, I'm fine…. I just…I did something horrible and I'm almost sure I'll never be forgiven for it…I just, I need someone to know the truth." I shook my head, my voice growing quieter as I felt a few tears fall from my cheek.

"Bella, that's ridiculous… there's nothing…." I stopped her again.

"There is…." I said, my voice shaking slightly. She looked at me for a long minute, before giving in, realizing that maybe this was something so horrible. And it was.

"Come over later? I'm throwing Jasper a surprise party for that new job he got… Help decorate. We'll talk then. Edward will be there… but we'll get him to do something else for a bit.." I nodded, regretting that look of urgency that had been in my eyes… this really could wait. I wasn't exactly feeling a party right now…

"I'll be there… I don't have any classes today. So just give me a call. I've got some things I've got to get mapped out for the concert in the park this weekend.. " I said, standing up and throwing my bag over my shoulder.

"Just come over around two? Edward isn't coming until four, just call if something comes up. I'll be by the phone.. I don't have a shift today." She said, and I nodded.

"I'll see you later, then. Bye."

"Bye."

I walked outside, catching my breath, which staggered against the winter air. I sat in the park for a while, watching as the children laughed and enjoyed themselves. I let my thoughts drift back to the child that I should have been six months pregnant with right now. I placed my hand on my stomach, and I whispered to it. Even though I knew she wasn't there, and I knew that she probably couldn't hear me. She was the only person I wanted to speak to right now, the only person that I felt I owed an explanation. The only person that deserved an apology, and the only person that I needed here with me right this minute. I looked down at my stomach.

"I just want you to know that I loved you." I began, a tear escaping. "I should have chosen you, I'm a terrible person for what I've done. But I do love you. I'm so sorry." My voice was barely audible, even to myself. And several more tears slipped out, I leant forward, my elbows on my knees as I held my head up. I wiped my tears away, only to have them start all over again. I sat up, and continued to watch the children play, while my emotions got the best of me.

"Hey." I heard a slightly familiar voice from behind me, I wiped my tears quickly and turned around. I saw Edward, the guy who had talked to me yesterday. I stayed sitting on the park bench, but scooted over to make room for him as he sat down.

"Hi…" I sniffled.

"Still having a rough time..?" I nodded.

"Do you mind me asking what's wrong..?" He trailed, looking down. I shrugged, sniffling once more.

"It's complicated…" I said, and as his eyes met mine. I felt a strange wave of security, something told me to trust him. Something was egging me on, something inside of me wanted me to share my information with this guy, be him a stranger or not.

"I - " We both began. And then chuckled. "Go ahead." I said, and he nodded.

"I understand. You don't really know me, and I don't really know you…if you don't want to tell me it's perfectly fine.." He smiled.

"I…" I stopped, deliberating. "I just did something that I shouldn't have… and I'm trying to deal with the regret of it all… like I said it's complicated. And not really something I want on my résumé , if you know what I mean." He nodded. And I turned my attention back to the playground, as did he. We sat there for a while, neither of us saying anything. And it was nice, for once, to be so at peace amongst the silence. I couldn't remember a time when I'd been at peace in silence, the silence usually drove me insane. I could feel the time passing around us, as we did nothing but sit there, and I welcomed it. Around eleven, I stood, figuring I should go pick up a card for Jasper and grab some lunch.

"I should probably go, I have a few errands to run before I go over to Alice's later…She wants me to help decorate…" I trailed. To a stranger this would have sounded strange, but I knew that he was going to be there, too. And I knew that he and Jasper had gone to high school together and had been friends ever since. He stood, also.

"Do you mind if I tag along?" He asked, and I smiled letting out a chuckle. He laughed too, stepping back.

"I'm sorry, that was way too forward of me…" He started to back away. I picked my bag up off of the bench, and took a few steps closer to my destination - the Hallmark shop on Pike Street. I stopped, turned around, and saw him standing where he last had been, and I smiled.

"Are you coming…?" I said, laughing once more. He didn't say anything as he caught up to me and we walked side by side. Neither of us said a word until we reached the store which was only about a block away.

We walked inside, and I headed straight for the cards.

I stood there, searching the different cards. I ended up grabbing one that just said "Congratulations" on the front, and I imagined some sort of cheesy rhyme scheme going on inside. I watched as Edward also picked one out. I stood there, waiting. As an extremely familiar song came on over the store speakers I tried to contain myself. Edward's eyes met mine, which apparently had some glimmer of happiness in them.

"You know this song?" He acted surprised.

"I live for this song," I laughed a bit. "I missed their concert last weekend. I've been kicking myself about it ever since." I said, he just stood there looking at me in complete shock. I shook my head.

"What?" I asked, laughing again.

"Nothing, I just. I can't believe you're a fan of the Black Keys…." He trailed.

"Once you hear them, you're practically obligated to become addicted…" I said. There was a silence as we paid for our cards and made our way back outside, I shivered as the early December air hit what little of my skin that was exposed. I put the card in my bag and shoved my hands deep into my pockets.

"Where to now?" He asked, smiling.

"Lunch. Definitely lunch." I hadn't had anything to eat yet today, it was nearly noon. He nodded. We stood there for a moment, as I tried to decide where I wanted to go. I started walking back South, headed toward my favorite Italian restaurant. He followed behind quickly. It was going to be about a ten minute walk.

"By the way, their concert was fantastic.…" He chuckled.

"You went?" I stopped walking, and looked him dead in the eye. All Edward could do was nod, with a smirk on his face. The look on my face must of described thoroughly the jealousy I felt at this particular moment.

"Maybe we can catch the next one…" He smiled. And we continued walking again.

We reached the restaurant, and we got a table. Edward was smiling like crazy, and I couldn't help but wonder why. He'd been acting strange since we stepped inside.

"What's with you?" I laughed. "Why are you smiling so much?"

"I, uh, I work here.." I smiled, too. And then felt bad.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know…Do you want to go somewhere else? Because we can…" I said, setting my menu down. He shook his head.

"No, no. This is fine. It's just…ironic." He chuckled.

"Are you sure?" I asked, and he nodded.

Eventually we ordered our food, making small talk about music and art. We sat there in peace though, and I didn't feel like a bad person, temporarily. I felt just as I had before, whole, complete, of course still missing something, but it felt as though someone had thrown a thick blanket of security over me. It could still be removed, or torn, or drenched…. But for now it was warm, dry, and comforting.

We both ate slowly, and without even realizing we'd sat there for almost two hours the check was delivered, and we both reached for it at the same time, causing our eyes to meet each others.

"I've got it." He said, pulling the black booklet from my hand.

"Edward, really, I can pay for it…." I objected. He shook his head.

"Bella, I've got it. It's no big deal…" He smiled, and I lightly nodded.

"Thank you…" I trailed, and as he placed bills in the booklet I watched him, in wonder. We walked outside, braving the cold once more. We headed back towards the coffee shop, talking and laughing amongst ourselves.

"How have we not met before?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"Maybe we were just convinced we'd found our own fate, instead of letting it find us." I sighed, with a serious tone in my voice, and then we both laughed. We continued walking, and were about a block from my apartment. I continued smiling, and I was walking backwards, facing him as walked along.

"I should probably head home, I have to be to Alice's in an hour, and I have to get ready for the party." I said, as we stopped on the corner, outside the coffee shop.

"Yeah, me too. I'll see you there?" He asked, his eyes hopeful, I smiled.

"Yeah, I'll be there." He nodded, and extended his hand.

"It was nice spending the day with you…" He said our hands intertwined now, almost holding each others, until he loosened his grip, snapping me back to reality.

"You too." I said, smiling once more. "I'll see you tonight." He nodded, and we went our separate ways.

* * *

><p>I reached my apartment, rummaging through my closet to find something decent to wear. Pretending to ignore the day I'd just spent with Edward, trying to only feel friendship for him. Because that's all I needed right now, a friend. Anything more would only complicate my situation… not that I was thinking about it…. Maybe I was.<p>

What would someone like Edward want with me? I was a disaster, full of nothing but emotional baggage, and a history that was bound to follow me wherever I went. If you were lucky enough not to have someone like that in your life, why would you go looking for it?

I found my strapless black tube dress, folded it up neatly and put it in my bag, along with some jewelry. I figured I would just get ready at Alice's who knew what kind of event she had planned once I got there, I put on a pair of jeans and a floral tank top, ready for whatever it was she wanted me to do for decoration once I got there.

Alice and Jasper lived on the other side of town, near a school and a playground. Both of which made Alice practically beg Jasper for children on a regular basis. They weren't married though, actually they weren't even engaged. They'd been living with each other for a year, and had been dating since they graduated high school. I walked outside, into the pouring rain, and saw my black Ford Edge parked just in front of the building. I smiled at it, still reveling at my 21st birthday present from my parents. I loved my car. I got inside and cranked the heater, making my way towards Alice's house.

I finally pulled up in front of their split-level suburban style home, just on the outskirts of Seattle. I parked in front of their house, and saw Alice practically jump off the porch and run towards my vehicle.

"Bella! You're here, alright, I need some help hanging the streamers, and then I'll be finished, Edward got here earlier than planned, so we're going to have to think of something for him to do so we can talk….is that alright?" I nodded, and followed her inside. Wondering if maybe Edward should just stay and listen too.

We hung the streamers, which I felt were unnecessary, this place already looked amazing. She had cleared the entire living room, which was huge to begin with, and had dancing room and snack tables, the whole nine yards. Her kids were going to have the best birthday parties ever. I laughed to myself. Edward would occasionally smile at me from across the room, he was setting up the snack tables, and he sat a few chairs along the walls. By the time we finished everything, their house looked every bit as good as any venue would have.

I took a deep breath, knowing I had to do what I'd come here to do. Tell Alice, and I had decided to tell Edward. I couldn't hide it forever. And Edward seemed pretty trustworthy.

"Uh, Alice. Can I talk to you for a sec?" She nodded, and we walked to the hallway.

"Edward can stay…he doesn't know either..so, I might as well tell both of you at the same time." She nodded, confusion in her eyes.

"Since when are you and Edward friends…?" Her eyebrow arched.

"Since today…I guess." I shook it off, and she walked away, taking a seat at the kitchen table, calling Edward over. It was my call now, and far too late to turn back. The sooner I let people know, the sooner I could be held accountable for my actions. And I deserved every bit of whatever punishment I got. I took a deep breath, and walked into the kitchen, sitting at the table with them.

"Edward," I started, and he looked at me, fully attentive. "Earlier you asked me why I've been so upset…." He nodded, and Alice's eyes grew just as attentive.

"And Alice, I should have told you this a long time ago… I should have come to you before I even made the decision to do what I did. I think that's why it's harder for me to tell you. Because you deserved to know sooner, and you deserve better than this from me. You're my best friend and I hope that you can forgive me after I tell you this…" She nodded.

"Of course…" She shook her head, concern in her eyes. Edward's face had grown more serious. There was a long silence.

"I…." I looked down. "I had an abortion…" I let it out, and watched both of their expressions grow shocked.

"What?" Alice said, hurt in her eyes. "Bella, how could you do something like that?" She backed off then, somehow seeing that I wasn't telling the whole story. "It was Mike, wasn't it…" She trailed, a tear falling from her cheek, Alice had always been against abortion, seriously against abortion. "He talked you into it….he tricked you, didn't he?" I lightly shook my head, tears falling from my eyes also.

"That doesn't matter Alice…..It doesn't matter what he wanted me to do….because I had a choice between my baby and him, and I chose him….Alice. I chose him…..how could I have been so stupid.?" I could feel my entire body shaking as tear after tear fell from my cheek.

"Bella, he never should have asked you to do that…" She shook her head, I hadn't bothered to look at Edward's expression, I didn't want to know.

"It doesn't matter. I should have left him. I should have made it work. I should have fought harder. Do you understand what I'm saying? I picked that asshole over my child!" I continued crying. I brought my head into my hands, and I felt Alice's small arms snake around me, rocking me lightly.

"Shhh, Bella….we'll get through this. Shhh." She whispered. Edward never said anything, but I heard him get up and leave the table. I deserved that.

"Bella, It's alright. You didn't know any better. You didn't know he was going to do the things he did…all you knew was that you loved him and you would do anything for him, anything to keep him there…." She continued rocking me, and eventually I stopped crying. I grabbed my bag, and stood to leave.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I just don't think I can be at a party right now." I reached into my bag, pulling out Jasper's now signed card, and handed it to Alice.

"This is for Jasper, tell him I say congratulations. And I'm sorry, again, Alice." I sniffled, no expression on my face and walked outside. Edward was sitting on the front porch swing. I looked over at him just as he looked over at me.

"Come here…" He said softly, patting the empty space next to him on the swing. I complied, and took a seat. We continued sitting there, not saying a word. Until his hand grabbed a hold of mine, I looked him in the eye.

"I'm here for you…" He said, releasing my hand and pulling me closer to him so that I was almost completely snuggled up to his chest. I breathed him in, reveling at his warmth. A few minutes later, I could have swore I'd seen Alice peek at us through the living room curtain. But I had seen for sure. Almost an hour later, Alice stepped out onto the porch, causing me to disengage myself from him. I pulled my shirt down nervously and I saw her smile.

"It's six thirty, everyone's gonna start heading over soon…. Are you sure you don't want to stay, Bella?" She said, and I shook my head.

"I'm sure." I stood from the porch swing, pulling my bag over my shoulder again. "I don't think I'm ready just yet…sorry, Alice." She shook her head.

"It's fine, sweetheart. Just don't be too hard on yourself, alright.?" She said, and I nodded, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I'll call you tomorrow, " Alice said, and I nodded.

"I'll see you guys later…" I said before turning to step off of the porch.

"Oh, and Edward," I said, his head shot up. "Thank you…." I said. He nodded.

"Anytime." He said, half smiling. I stepped off of the porch, and made my way to my car in the pouring rain.

* * *

><p><strong>Songs - Chapter One<strong>

_"Fresh Pair of Eyes"_ by Brooke Waggoner (Bella and Edward meet in the alley of the Coffee shop)

_"Alas We Aspire"_ by Amy Stroup (Bella and Edward sit in the park, also playing while they walk to the Italian restaurant)

_"Everlasting Light"_ by The Black Keys (In the store picking out cards, Bella recognizes this song on the intercom)

_"Not in Love"_ by Crystal Castles ft. Robert Smith (playing while Alice, Bella, and Edward are decorating for the party)

_"After the Storm"_ by Mumford and Sons (begins playing as Bella goes to leave Alice's house)

-I should have more songs than this in each chapter, but this was just an ease in chapter…not much happened, so expect more songs next time… (: Also, I might use certain songs more than once throughout this story, so I apologize if it gets repetitive…

* * *

><p>Hey, guys! So this is the first chapter, and as some of you may know my first chapters are always kinda rusty. I haven't written for about a year, so this is the best I could muster. School starts in a few days, so I should have a new chapter up tomorrow and the day after, but It'll be a while after that, until I can figure out a weekly or bi-weekly schedule. But, anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this! And theres a LOT more to come, so don't lose hope in me. This is my senior year so if I don't post something whether it be a chapter or an update it's because they're piling on the homework .. .(: Enjoy! And I will be putting a few song in each chapter. At the end of it I will list the name of the song and the artist and what part of the chapter it was playing in. I'm big on music these days, so feel free to check out the songs I suggest.. (:<p> 


	2. An Alice Encounter

**Come Love, See my hands**

**Chapter Two **

"**An Alice Encounter" **

Bella's POV

I made my way home, driving slower than usual, listening to peaceful music as I entered the heart of Seattle, nearly home. This alone, was like a therapy session. I needed time, to relax and move on, because I can't change what happened. But, I can change what will happen, and I'll do everything I can to make up for the mistakes I've made.

The lightness I felt was indescribable, having all of the people that were important to me know about this, and not completely hate me meant the world to me. It did in no way shape or form make up for what I did, or make me feel better for what I did. But Alice was right, we would get through this. And knowing that I had anyone on my side, made it all the less scary.

I reached my apartment, and walked in, throwing on a pair of black shorts and pulling my hair into a ponytail. I sat on my couch, and put my ipod on its dock. Continuing with the music I'd been listening to in the car. I sang along. I had just began to drift to sleep, when I heard a knock on the door. It was a little past eleven. I stood up quickly, and looked through the peep-hole in my door… Edward?

I had a look of confusion on my face as I opened the door.

"Hi…." I trailed.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" He asked, nervous.

"No, no…" I lied. "Come in…" I opened the door all the way, and he walked inside, looking around curiously.

"You can sit down, if you'd like…?" I said gesturing to the couch. He nodded, and we both sat on the couch, my ipod still ran, throwing relaxing melodies about the room. I turned it down, so we could hear each other. Granted he even had anything to say. A few minutes passed in silence, and I couldn't take it any longer.

"So….Is there a certain reason you came over here?" I laughed, and he smiled.

"Not necessarily, I just thought I'd come check on you, and I wanted to see you…." He trailed. And I felt my stomach do frightened flips. I shook his comment off, and nodded.

"How was the party?" I asked

"It was just like any other Alice event, loud and full of dancing. Jasper was surprised, that's for sure." I smiled.

"Good." I heard a muffled ring, and realized I'd left my phone in my bag, I ran to get it and had five missed calls.

"Hello?" I answered.

"BELLA!" Alice practically screamed into the phone. I held it away from my ear, and Edward chuckled.

"Sorry, I can't hear you. My eardrum just burst." She laughed.

"Guess what? Guess what, guess whatttttt?" She sang. I laughed.

"What, Alice?"

"Jasper proposed!" She screamed, and I could help but smile ear to ear. Everyone knew they belonged together. And they were practically a married couple already.

"Really? That's so exciting! Congratulations!" I said, smiling still.

"I knowww!" She screamed again. "I mean, thank you!" She laughed.

"Wait, Bella. What was going on with you and Edward earlier, I mean what _was_ that?" She said, her voice a little louder than it should have been, I'd bet five dollars Edward heard her where he was sitting on the other end of the couch.

"Uh, Alice. Can I call you tomorrow?" I avoided her question.

"He's there isn't he?" She said louder. "Bella, you better talk to me about this! This is serious!" She shouted. I laughed. She was relentless.

"Alice, really, can I just call you tomorrow? And don't you have more people to call anyways?" I said plainly.

"Fine, but we will talk about this! Call me!" She shouted, and I hung up before she could change her mind.

"Sorry about that…" I said, setting my phone on my coffee table, and turned my un-avoided attention to Edward.

"No problem…" He said, he eyes locking mine. Neither of us said anything, we just looked at each other. And it wasn't awkward. It seemed easy to sit here with him, saying nothing. Just being. I broke the silence.

"Jasper and Alice are getting married…" I said, in case he didn't know. Though I'm sure that Jasper had talked to him about it before he had proposed.

"I know…." He said, smiling, I couldn't help but smile too. I clicked the music back on. Eventually we began conversing. And it may have very well been the longest conversation I'd ever had in my entire life. We talked about everything from family, to our childhoods, to our high school years, to music, to right now, to our hopes for our future. We must have stayed up all night, laughing, and crying, and thinking out loud. And then we both fell asleep on the couch….just like that.

* * *

><p>(Sunday)<p>

I woke up in my bedroom, no music playing, and Edward no where to be found. I was just at the brink of thinking it had all been a dream when my phone rang, I looked at the clock, it was 1 in the afternoon.

"Hello?" I answered

"Bella! Explain, now! I've been trying to call you all morning, what's going on?" Alice's voice rang through my head, and I squinted my eyes. I got out of bed and walked into the kitchen, looking for a note, anything.

"What are you talking about?" I said, yawning. I went for my coffee container, knowing that the coffee shop was closed on Sundays, there was a sticky note stuck to the top of it.

_Looks like you're fresh out, went to get us some. Be back soon. - Edward_

I smiled, and heard a knock on the door. I opened it, and saw Edward standing there, two cups of coffee in his hands. I still held the phone to my ear.

"I'm talking about you and Edward, he was totally there last night wasn't he?" She said, freaking out.

"Yeah….and?" I said, mouthing a 'thank you' to Edward as he handed me my cup.

"I can't believe this! You guys are going to be so cute together!" She shouted, I heard Edward chuckle, I was sure he could hear the whole conversation. I rolled my eyes, laughing lightly also.

"Alice, can I talk to you later. I'm kind of busy right now. I promise I'll call." I said, smiling.

"Fine, but you have one hour! Or I'm going to come over there!" I laughed again, so did Edward.

"Well, we don't want that, now do we?" I laughed. "I'll talk to you here in a little bit…" I chuckled.

"Bye!" She huffed, and I could almost hear her pouting. I hung up, smiling again. I put my phone down on the kitchen counter. Edward was sitting at the kitchen table, and I joined him, taking a sip of my coffee, which was somehow made exactly how I liked it.

"Hi…" I said, smiling, he smiled back.

"Alice?" He asked, I nodded.

"Poor Jasper…. Is he sure he knows what he's getting into?" I joked, Edward laughed. We were silent for a moment.

"Hey," I said, and his eyes caught mine. "Thank you…. For coming over, and the coffee, and….moving me into my bed?" I said, smiling.

"I didn't know how much longer you were going to sleep, so I figured I'd make sure you were comfortable…" He trailed, and I smiled.

"Well, thank you…" I said. He nodded, smiling.

Edward left a little while after that, so I called Alice back.

"Bella, spill!" She said.

"Alice, calm down. There's nothing going on, we're just friends. The only reason he was here last night was to check on me, we talked….I promised that's all that's going on." I tried my best to convince her.

"Friends don't snuggle…..not the way you two were, anyway." She said.

"We just met two days ago…..there's nothing going on. He was just being there for me, that's all." I said, a little annoyed.

"Alright, but I definitely see something happening there…." She trailed in a sing-song voice. I shook it off.

"Soooo….. What did you guys talk about last night?" She urged.

"Stuff."

"What kind of stufffffff?" She was like a child on steroids.

"I don't know, just stuff. Like, everything, I guess. Yeah, basically everything."

"Bella, why do you have to be so vague….?" She whined.

"I'm not being vague, we really did talk about everything, I don't know we just, we're getting to know each other." I sat down on the couch, turning my music back on, and adjusting the volume.

"Intimately?" She urged, I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, Alice, we talked about sex for hours and hours….." I said sarcastically. "Look, Alice. I just got out of a serious relationship that turned out to not be so serious….can't I just, I don't know, be single for a while.?"

"I know, Bella. I'm sorry. It's just that I'm so happy right now with Jasper that I want you to be happy with someone too." She explained herself.

"I know, Alice. And I will be, be it with Edward or someone else that I meet. I really do see where you're coming from, I just need some room to think, you know?" I said.

"Yeah, I understand…." There was a long silence, which was never a good thing with Alice. "So, are you doing alright…?" She asked, and I didn't have to ask why.

"I guess so, as long as I keep busy. I can't spend the rest of my life hating myself, you know? What happened, happened. There isn't much I can do about it now, except try and make up for it." She didn't say anything.

"Well, Alice. I have to go, I have class in the morning. I'll talk to you tomorrow." I said.

"Alright. Hey, Bella. We're having an engagement party next weekend, you're coming right?"

"Yeah, I'll be there. I promise to actually be there this time. And congrats, again." I smiled.

"Thanks. I'll talk to you later."

"Mhmm, Bye." I hung up.

* * *

><p>The week was over, and I'd only seen Edward quickly in passing at the coffee shop twice this week. I wondered if maybe Alice had scared him off. He seemed fine, but you never knew how strong someone's wall was until they put it up in front of you.<p>

Alice's engagement party was tomorrow night, and I hoped that Edward wouldn't still be giving me the cold shoulder, because he was probably who I was going to be talking to the whole night. I didn't know any of Alice's other friends, so It was either sit in the corner by myself, or follow Alice around if Edward was still acting so strange.

I walked down the street peacefully, my ear phones in, as I made my way to the coffee shop.

"Hey, Bella." Alice greeted me as I reached the counter. "The party isn't at our house, just so you know, we rented out a club a couple of blocks from here." She said as I reached the counter, scribbling something down on a piece of paper, she handed it to me.

"Alright, I'll be there. Eight, right?" I asked, she nodded.

"Hey, I need to talk to you later, also." Her eyebrow arched, which was never a good thing. "I'll call you around six when I get home." I nodded, lifting my coffee off the counter, and making the mistake of searching for Edward in the small Café. His eyes met mine, I looked down, and walked outside. Hoping he didn't follow. I was too confused about the other night as of right now to have any sort of conversation with him. I made it all the way home, breathing a sigh of relief as I reached the inside of my apartment and tossed my now empty coffee cup in the trash can.

I took in a deep breath, leaning my back against the kitchen counter. I tried to bring myself to understand what exactly was going on, things had been much too _silent. _Should I feel just as embarrassed about the other night as he seemed to be? What did we even talk about? I couldn't for the life of me remember a moment in which I was embarrassed, my past was my past, and he already knew about my darkest moment. I shoved the thoughts to the back of my head, pretending that nothing had ever happened, trying to feel as though it really had only been talking, nothing more. _Just talking. It was just talking, Bella. _I jumped, sitting in the middle of my bed, when I heard my phone ring in my completely silent apartment.

* * *

><p>"Hello?" I answered quickly.<p>

"Bella, hey. It's Alice." Alice's soprano voice rang through the phone.

"Hey, you said you wanted to talk to me…?" I trailed.

"Uh, yeah…" She paused. "So, one of Jasper's friends…" She trailed, making my even more nervous and close-minded to this conversation. "He doesn't want to come to the party alone, and he asked if we knew of anyone who….." I stopped her.

"No, Alice. No blind dates. No, no, no. No."

"Pleaseeeeee, Bella?" She begged.

"No."

"But you're the only single person I can think of this close to the party….and Jasper really wants him there." She said.

"No, Alice. I'm just not up to being awkwardly forced into conversation with a random stranger." I sighed, walking through my apartment, trying to find anything to pre-occupy myself.

"Bella, look. I know that you're not really feeling up to dating, and you want some space, but this could be really good for you!" She encouraged.

"Alice, I hardly feel like doing parties right now. Let alone having a date." I tried not to make her feel bad.

"Alright, Bella. I get it. You're not up to it…" She paused. "I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, Alice. Bye."

"Bye." I hung up the phone, and my mind immediately jumped to Edward, and I immediately felt a knot grow in my stomach. _Nerves_. I shook my head, taking in a deep breath and exhaling.

The question I wanted answered most right now was, _since when did I get so nervous? _Never in my life, had I been so jittery about a guy, never. I was beyond confused, and a complete mess.

_Nothing even happened, we were just talking._

* * *

><p><strong>Songs: <strong>

**"Come Love, See My Hands" - Brooke Wagonner (played while Bella is on her way home from Alice's party for Jasper)**

**"Hometown Glory" - Adele (Bella sings while lying on the couch before Edward comes over)**

**"Breathe Me" - Sia (playing while Edward and Bella talk/fall asleep in her apartment)**

**"I Will Follow" - Katie Herzig (Playing while Bella is on the phone with Alice, and Edward comes back from getting coffee)**

**"Seize the Day" - Shelly Fraley (Playing while Bella walks to the Coffee shop)**

**"Fool" - Cat Power (plays when Bella and Edward see each other at the coffee shop, continues as she hastily walks back home)**

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN:: Hey, guysss. Sorry about the long wait, but here's chapter two, it was originally almost seven pages long, so I decided to split it up and make half of it chapter three. Chapter three should be up by the end of this weekend, though, considering it's almost halfway written already. Anyways. Thanks for your patience, I didn't forget, and I'm not going to give up on this one, I'm starting to like it a little bit too much.. (: _**

**_Sorry, again. 3 _**

**_R&R, Pleaseeeee! _**


	3. Remembrance

**Come Love, See My Hands**

**Chapter Three**

"**Remembrance"**

I exhaled, and shook my head, heading towards my bedroom to find something to wear to Alice's party. I rummaged through almost everything in my closet before finding a nude color lace bubble dress, I laid it out on the bed, and walked to my bathroom, plugging in my barrel curler and turning it on. I readied myself in a matter of thirty minutes, knowing that the ride to the club would be a good forty-five minutes with all of the downtown traffic. I finally calmed down my thinking enough to slip out the door and begin the drive to the party.

I stopped myself from thinking that tonight would change anything, that anything would happen between Edward and I, because I didn't know him as well as I may have thought I did, and maybe he was thinking exactly the same about me.

I popped in a Bon Iver CD for the ride, singing along with the familiar music. Traffic was heavier than I'd expected it to be and it took me nearly an hour and a half to reach the club. I parked across the street from the small, much too dance club looking location.

I stepped slowly from my vehicle, grabbing the small blue box in my backseat-Alice's engagement present-and I took a step towards the building, trying to seem courageous and strong in this moment. I straightened up my back, and continued towards the building. I opened the door, spoke briefly with the owner, and was led to the back of the building, where everything had been decorated in rhinestones. Everything was simple, timeless, and almost too subtle for Alice.

Alice had thrown me an engagement party, about a year ago, when Mike and I were still together. I wasn't sure why my mind immediately skipped to the memories of that night, but they did. And - if only for a moment, I smiled slightly. I couldn't bring myself to regret ever being with Mike, what happened, happened. I didn't want to waste time being angry over it. Alice walked towards me, in a simple white party dress, which had rhinestones elegantly placed in just the right spots all over the fragile fabric that held them. I smiled and handed her the engagement gift. She smiled back.

"You didn't need to get us anything…" She said over the loud music in the background.

"Yes, I did." I smiled. "You guys deserve it. Congratulations again, by the way."

"Thanks.." She came in for a hug, which was quick, and then she was darting off, on her way to greet the rest of the guests. I lingered in the same general area for a while, trying to stay out of everyone's way. I watched as they all went about their business, couples flooding the small dance floor, laughing. In this moment of almost chaos, with everything moving so quickly around me, I stayed still, unchanging, almost at complete peace, and then I was.

I felt a strong hand on the small of my back, causing me to turn. My eyes met Edward's, and he smiled at me.

"You look beautiful…" He said, his hand moving towards mine, he held it in his for a moment. And we stood there, both looking towards the events, both silent, both at peace.

He took a step forward, causing me to move, also. He led me to the middle of the chaos, where still, I was at peace. He slowly brought my hands to his shoulders and moved his to my hips, where we began to sway. He didn't say anything, he just moved us back and forth, around and around. I listened to the music, which slowly turned into something a bit quicker, a song I recognized. Edward moved us quicker along the dance floor, and just as the music sped up reaching its' chorus, he twirled me, turning the once slow peaceful dance into a sensual, winding, movement in between the both of us. I smiled and let out a chuckle as he twirled me again, causing me to land facing away from him, with my back to his chest, and then he twirled me once more, so that I was again facing him. The music faded out, and turned into something much slower. He pulled me close, and I rested my head on his chest, as he swayed us back and forth.

"Where did you learn to dance..?" I asked, looking up at him, he shrugged.

"Around…" He smirked, urging me to lay my head back on his shoulder with his hand. And we were at peace once more, just moving back and forth.

I breathed him in, reveling at his very presence. We continued dancing for a while, and then I felt his mouth reach my ear.

"You wanna get out of here?" He asked, in a whisper. I nodded, and he led me towards the exit.

We stepped out of the room, and all of the chaos vanished, gone in seconds. The new wave of silence sent a shiver down my spine, or maybe that was the autumn weather that had picked up outside. We stepped outside into the cold, and I felt my face grow blank, as I recognized the couple walking towards us.

_Mike. _I let out a breath, and watched as they grew closer, and then Jessica looked up. I didn't have time to look back down, before she yelled my name.

"Bella!" She smiled, dragging Mike towards us with her. "Bella Swan? How are you? Oh my gosh, I haven't seen you since high school!" She beamed, I half smiled, Ignoring the pit that had just formed in my stomach.

"Um, I've been good, Jessica. How are you?" I gave Mike a long glare when she looked down.

"Fantastic, just super busy. What with all of the business down at the boutique, and wedding planning, nursery paint colors, all that jazz." She smiled in full, and I felt the pit in my stomach double in size. I looked down and saw their hands intertwined, the same engagement ring I'd owned no more than a month ago on her finger, and a small bump in her stomach, I looked towards Mike, who was looking firmly at the ground.

_Coward. _I thought to myself. I composed myself, and looked back at Jessica who had the widest grin on her face that I'd ever seen. I smiled at her.

"Congratulations, I'm glad you're happy." I said, and I could feel Edward's eyes move in between the three of us, as I continued to sneak Mike a glare. I looked down, and I felt myself losing composure, and then Edward jumped in.

"Well, Um, we were just heading out. It was nice talking to you." He said, taking my hand.

"Yeah, it was. Uh, I'll call you, Bella." I didn't look back as Edward led me to my car, where once I realized it was safe, I let my tears flow freely, and I felt myself start to fall to the ground, when Edward lifted me up, and helped me into the car. My skin was ice cold, and it had just started to rain. I sat in the passenger side of my car, and Edward removed the keys from my hand, started the engine, and headed towards my apartment. I stopped crying about three minutes into the car ride, and suddenly felt the most self-conscious I ever had in my entire life. Like I'd been stripped bare, right in front of the only person that mattered right now.

"I-I'm sorry…" I stuttered. He glanced over at me as we pulled up outside of my apartment building. His hand reached for mine, and I looked down at our hands. Bound, but not elaborate. Together, but apart. One, but completely separate. Full of reason, but at the same time the most absurd, most impossible thing I'd ever experienced in my life. I heard the engine cut off, and we sat in silence for a moment.

"Can I take you somewhere?" He asked, full of sincerity. I looked at him.

"Am I over-dressed?" I asked, gesturing to the dress I was still wearing. "I can go up and change…" I trailed, he nodded, releasing my hand being my one and only signal to go upstairs and change my clothes. I practically ran up the stairs, rushing through dressing mostly just to avoid thinking about Mike and Jessica. I threw on jeans, a cardigan, a tank top, and a pair of boots. Completely unsure of how dressed up I needed to be, I chose an outfit somewhere in the middle. I grabbed my phone, which I had left at home, and a twenty dollar bill from my wallet before shoving both into my pockets and heading back outside, where Edward sat in my car. His face blank, but full of concern. His eyes narrowed, and I saw him relax as I stepped out into the almost winter weather, where the rain greeted me, causing my entire mood to relax, causing me to feel renewed and unaware of my past.

I climbed into the passenger seat, where Edward's eyes met me, and a warm smile touched his lips.

"Listen, I'm sorry ab-" He cut me off, turning towards me.

"Don't apologize. None of this is your fault, Bella. Mike was a jerk, I understand that. You understand that, we all do." He stopped, searching my eyes. I felt knots growing in my stomach again. I bit my lip. "You deserve so much better. You can do so much better…" I looked down, shaking my head as a tear slipped out.

"You're forgetting the wrong _I've_ done…." I sniffled. I looked up at him, and his eyes grew sincere.

"Since when is it wrong to love someone so much that you would give up anything for them?" He said, simply, as though the words had just rolled right off of his tongue, as if they'd come so easily. Whether or not he put a lot of thought into the words was beside the point, because they were exactly what I'd needed to hear, they were full of honesty and clarity. They were like a smack in the face, something I hadn't seen before, even if it was only one good thing, it left me feeling a lot better about myself that I had been only seconds ago. I breathed in, turning to look at the street before I exhaled. He started the engine, and what he'd said continued to echo in my ears, over and over. Ten minutes into town I turned the stereo back on and Bon Iver's new album danced about the vehicle once again. Just loud enough that we could hear it.

"So, where are we going…" I trailed. He smirked.

"I wanted to show you something." He turned to me. I looked outside, where the rain had completely let up, but had left behind a gentle breeze and it's captivating scent. He pulled up next to a park, where people were walking; candles, balloons, and posters in their hands. My curiosity peeked. I sat up quickly, looking out the window.

"What is this?" I asked, reading signs that mostly had quotes about life and death.

"It's a remembrance walk." He said, un-latching his seat belt, and opening his door. I did the same, meeting him at the front of the car. "They do this twice a year, same park, same time. This is why I was late to the party." I looked up at him curiously. A few seconds passed as we crossed the street, my hand in Edward's as we ran.

"You said it was a remembrance walk, who….who were you….here for?" I asked, stuttering. He pulled me to a park bench, where we were in plain sight of the walkers, who were praying, and singing, crying, laughing, every emotion you could possibly imagine was being played out in the large crowd before us. I watched as a group to the right all released their balloons at the same time, clearly all together. I smiled lightly as a family walked by, tears in their eyes, but a hint of relief in them at the same time. Like they knew whoever they were here for, was with them, or at least safe and warm and happy wherever he or she was.

"When I was eleven my six year-old brother was diagnosed with brain cancer.." Edward's voice rang, I turned to look at him. "By then it was too severe to operate on, and he died that next fall." Edward spoke with ease, like he'd told the story before. Like he'd been explaining it his whole life.

"I-I'm sorry…" I shook my head. A few seconds passed. His hand moved from mine to the back of the bench and around my left shoulder, I hadn't realized I was shivering, he pulled me closer, and I shoved my hands in my pockets, resting my head on his chest. We sat and watched as everyone remembered their loved ones, be it gracefully or bawling their eyes out. Watching all of these people celebrate the feeling of life and death, knowing exactly how they felt, knowing that some of them must have felt that it was their fault, made me feel a lot less alone.

"I thought that maybe you would want to….participate?" He suggested. I looked at him, fear in my eyes as he stood up, and walked to the small table where an older woman in a purple blouse and black slacks greeted him.

"Hello. What's the name of your Angel?" She asked

I stayed off to the side, near where the walkers were, and I watched as he purchased a candle, a balloon, and what looked like a lantern of some sort. He purchased them quickly, and was back at my side within a minute, carrying the items in a brown paper bag with the word 'remember' written in black ink all over it. He handed me the candle, and tied the balloon to the bag. He took my free hand, and looked at me briefly, I felt a knot grow in my stomach. And I was waiting for the waterworks to kick in, but they didn't just yet. We walked closer towards the large group of people, who all seemed to be doing the same thing, We watched as families stood together in remembrance, clutching their balloons. Edward took the candle from my hand and handed me the balloon he had just untied from the bag. He looked at me.

"Go ahead, you don't have to say anything. Just think about her." My eyes searched his, and I was waiting still for the tears to kick in. I took in a deep breath, and released the balloon, exhaling as it flew towards the sky. I watched as it met other balloons along the way, bumping into them and then finding its' own path again. I felt my eyes close, and the cold air hit my now wet cheek. Edward turned toward me.

"Hey, it's alright..." He whispered, his hands on both sides of my face, he wiped away a tear I hadn't even noticed falling. I felt my lungs collapse, as a sob racked through me.

"I'm going to help you get through this, Bella. I told you I was here for you." More tears fell, and I began stabilizing my breathing, then smiled lightly, and saw the look in his eyes that said 'this is my first step in proving myself to you.' He pulled me closer to him, and then took my hand in his as we walked amongst the other participants. We'd been walking at least a half a mile now, and neither of us had said a word.

"Let's go somewhere…" He whispered. I complied, and followed him through the crowd of people - who were all heading the exact opposite direction of us. He pulled me along, until we could see the car once again. We climbed in and cranked the heater up, we sat there for a while, neither of us moving or saying anything.

"Thank you…" I whispered, just loud enough that he could hear over the hum of the heater. We shared a moment of silence before the tires of the vehicle began to move beneath us. We pulled up next to a large apartment building, just across the street from the club Alice's party was still occurring in, and Edward cut the engine off. I sat in the car still as he walked around to my door. A smirk touched his lips, and my curiosity immediately perked. He took my hand gently, and began to lead me into the building, where his doorman said hello to him. Edward turned towards his doorman, who he was apparently friends with, and brought me around to his side.

"Hey, Bernie." He said to the dark-skinned man. Bernie smiled at me, and I smiled back.

"I see you have company, Mr. Cullen." Edward glanced at me, and smiled.

"Do you think I could borrow the keys to the roof for an hour or so? I'll have them back as soon as possible…" Edward leaned closer to Bernie, I could still hear them, but at least Bernie's boss couldn't. Bernie nodded, and handed Edward the key, Edward smiled.

"Sure, thing. I still owe you one, though." Edward stuck the key inside his pocket. He looked around making sure no one was watching. Edward shrugged.

"Forget about it, thanks." Edward smiled at me, and led me to the elevators.

"I want to show you something…" He said hitting the 'R' button on the elevator pad, which I assumed stood for 'Roof ' I heard the elevator ding, and Edward moved one of his hands over my eyes, leading me with the other.

"Alright, no peeking." He whispered as he continued to lead me. I felt the cold air hit my half covered face and knew we were outside. I continued walking, and I felt Edward's hand move from my eyes.

"Open." He said, I could hear the smile on his lips as he moved away from me. I blinked a few times before I realized what I was looking at. As my eyes focused I took in the stunning view of the pink-ish purple sunset behind the Seattle skyline, and felt a sense of stability rush over me, quickly remembering that my mother and I used to watch the sunset together during the fall before she had passed away, and I had never quite remembered it being this beautiful.

I was completely silent, and at an absolute stand-still. Edward's arms moved around me, and I turned to look at him, smiling.

"It's stunning…." I breathed, moving to take a seat on the bench in front of us. We sat watching as the sun gradually vanished beneath the horizon. We must have been sitting there for a while, because it had now been completely dark (other than the light that we had turned on by the door to the roof) for at least fifteen minutes.

"You're crying…" Edward said, turning to me, and wiping a tear from my cheek. I chuckled, sniffling.

"I seem to be doing that a lot tonight, don't I?" He looked concerned, and I shrugged.

"What is it?" He said, taking one of my hands and holding it in his lap as we faced each other.

"Nothing… This just reminded me of my mom, that's all." I paused. "We used to do this every fall, until she passed away.." I sniffled. Edward didn't say anything, but I could tell that he was trying to think of something to say, and for me, that was enough.

We sat there for a while, just watching the sky, until the weather decided to change on us. I felt a raindrop hit my cheek, but didn't mind much. I stayed sitting, until the drops begin to thicken and drop at a quicker pace. By the time we got to the elevator, we were almost completely soaked. The elevator door shut behind us, and I glanced over at Edward. I let out a chuckle, as did he, and I'm not sure what happened after that but we both found ourselves laughing hysterically at the situation. The elevator stopped, and things grew quiet between us as a rush of disappointment washed over me at the realization that maybe our night was over, and he half expected me to leave now. I looked at the ground, and then back up at him, he was smiling still, and the look in his eyes calmed me instantly.

"Do you want to get some dry clothes?" He asked, letting out another chuckle mid-sentence.

"Sure." I smiled, as we exited the elevator together. We walked down a long hall, and stopped at apartment D-7. Edward pulled out a key, and turned it in the doorknob. The door opened, and we walked inside, Edward flipped on a light as we went. I looked around the room, as he disappeared towards the back of the apartment, which had a layer of olive green paint on them, which looked fresh. The kitchen was to my right, and faced the living room, with only a breakfast bar separating the two rooms. The living room was front and center, facing a fireplace, which had a large flat screen television set hanging above it. Either Edward was born into money, or he had been saving up since he was five. There was a beige colored couch in front of the fireplace, with a coffee table between. To the right and left of that there were two matching chairs. Along the back wall were wall-sized bookshelves (which I assumed were built-in), that were packed with books, trophies, pictures, candles, and small color-schemed photo boxes. I stood near the shelves, reading the book titles, and looking at the pictures, I smiled when I came to one of Edward as a child. His family was posed in the picture, all dressed in Christmas themed clothing, standing next to a Christmas tree, It wasn't one of those over-posed photos, though. It was simple, no one seemed to be focused on the camera, instead they were all looking at each other, smiling, the picture was so natural that it almost seemed as though they hadn't even noticed it being taken, had they not been seated in such an organized fashion. I heard a door shut, and turned around, just as Edward stepped into the room. He walked toward me, in gray sweats and a black v-neck, his hair still wet, but somehow arranged perfectly.

"Here you go." He handed me a shirt and pants. I smiled.

"Thanks."

"The bathroom is down the hall to the right." He said. "Do you want some hot chocolate?"

"Sure." I nodded, and turned toward the hall. I stepped inside the bathroom and flipped on the light. I turned on the warm water in the shower, and waited for it to steam, I washed my face clean of all of my ran make-up, and flipped my hair under the faucet of the shower tub, washing the rain water out of it. I twisted my hair, getting as much water out of it as I could. I reached into my bag and grabbed my brush, making my way through all of the tangles that had grown together throughout the day. I removed my shirt, and put on the dry one, which was a dark green v-neck. I removed my pants, and heard a small knock on the door.

"Bella?" I heard Edwards voice. "I have to take the keys back down to Bernie, I'll be back up in a minute. Your cup is on the counter, make yourself at home if you get finished before I get back…" He said, not as loudly as I would have expected. Instead in a hushed tone, a sensitive hushed tone.

"Alright. Thank you…" I responded, a second later I heard the door open and shut and I knew that he was gone.

I finished dressing, and took a look in the mirror, dressed in Edward's clothes. I smiled, shook my head, flipped the light off and left the room - and the reflection - behind me.

I walked into the kitchen, and found a cup of hot chocolate waiting for me, I took a sip and sat it back on the counter, my hands still enclosing it. I sat on the sectional couch, cup in hand and took a few more sips. I realized then that music was playing and my mind rested at the sound of the familiar melodies. I sat the cup on the coffee table, and walked back toward the bookshelf that I had previously been looking at. I found a stray picture leant up against the books, and I picked it up. It was of him as a child with another boy, only a few years younger than him, both in little tuxedos standing outside of a church. I imagined they had been attending a wedding and smiled, turning the picture around to see if there was any writing on it, but there was only a date and place. Edward walked in then, and saw me looking at the picture, he smiled as our eyes met, and he turned to shut the door. He picked up his cup and moved it to the coffee table.

"Weird you took notice of that picture, it's terrible. It's not my favorite of my brother and I, anyways." He paused, and my eyes waited for him to finish.

"That was while he was sick. I always liked the ones before that better, for some reason we always seemed so much happier. Ignorance is bliss, I guess. It's a good thing Emmett knew how to brighten someone's day, though…Even _while_ he was sick." He took the picture from me, examining it himself, I watched his facial expressions, and could almost see him push the thought of his brother from his mind. Edward placed it back on the shelf, and reached for one of the boxes that I'd seen earlier, only now I noticed that it was labeled "Family." He sat it on the coffee table, and removed the lid, reaching for the photo pack that was in the very back. He sat on the floor, in between the bottom of the couch and the coffee table, I joined him.

He opened the picture pouch slowly, took the entire stack out and held them in his hand, clearly searching for a specific picture. I looked forward, watching the flame in the fireplace play with it's boundaries.

"This one is my favorite." He handed the picture to me, and I smiled instantly. I looked like a birthday party, one of those only close family birthday parties, the ones that ended up being the best, even though none of your friends were with you. The kind of party that was filled with laughter, and unconditional love.

Edward was on the right of his brother, both of them making a weird face, both of them with frosting covering their faces from their chins to their noses. He handed me the picture, and he let out a chuckle. I glanced at the picture a few more moments, and handed it back to him.

"So what are you're parents like? I don't believe you mentioned them the other night…" I said, sitting up. He reached for another picture, this one of a wedding." I took it as he handed it to me, his parents look ecstatic, like the happiest couple on the Earth.

"They were happy." He said, obviously guarded. I looked him in the eye, with a smile on my lips.

"Aren't all married couples happy, at some point or another?" He chuckled at this too, and then shook his head lightly. His brow furrowed.

"That's not what I meant, I mean they were always happy, I can't even remember a time when they fought. Before my brother became ill, that is." He paused, and placed the photos back in the box. He stood from the floor, and put the box back on the shelf, then joined me again. He grabbed a blanket from the couch, and draped it over the two of us.

"After Emmett got sick, they were fighting constantly. About money, whether his doctors were good enough, whether or not either of them were giving it their all. Normal things to be fighting about in that kind of situation, I guess." Edward shrugged.

"Did they get a divorce?" I asked this quietly, expecting him to say yes.

"No, they didn't, and that's the truly shocking aspect of it. We all expected them too, they were separated for a few months, but after Emmett died my father moved back in. My father might do some things that seem immoral, but he always makes the right decision when it counts the most." He paused

"He knew he loved my mother, and he knew it wouldn't be right to leave it to her to raise me alone. They've been together ever since, almost as completely happy as they were before." He looked up at me, and took my hand in his. A smile touched his lips.

"It happened, and it's over. That's all that matters." He shrugged. I didn't know what to think for a second, and I stayed there, my eyes locked with his, a dead, fragile look in my eye.

I couldn't speak, but I knew I wanted to say something.

I broke our gaze, and turned towards the fireplace in front of us. I looked down at our hands still intertwined, and thought for a second longer.

_You're not falling in love with him. _

That's the last thing I remembered promising myself, even if it was a lie.

And then we both fell asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Songs:<strong>

Holocene - Bon Iver (playing as Bella finds a dress to wear and drives to Alice's party)

I Hurt Too - Katie Herzig (Plays when Edward leads Bella onto the dance floor, the first song that they dance to)

In the Manner of Speaking - Nouvelle Vague (Plays during the second dance)

Perth - Bon Iver (CD playing in Bella's car as they drive to the remembrance walk)

Little Bird - Lisa Hannigan (Plays during the remembrance walk)

Riverside - Agnes Obel (plays as they watch the sun go down)

Holding Us Back - Katie Herzig (plays as they talk on Edward's floor, and continues as Bella promises herself she's not falling in love, and they fall asleep.)

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

Uhm, Yep. Sorry. It's been farrrrr too long since I've updated this, I've been extremely busy. I'm not going to promise anything but there should be another chapter up by New Years. Sorry, Sorry, Sorry. ): This really wasn't supposed to happen, but anyways. Prepare yourselves for the romantic montage. (:


	4. Treading Water

**Chapter Four - Come love, See my hands**

"**Treading Water"**

**Bella's POV**

I woke up completely snuggled up to his chest. Both of us under a red fleece throw on the floor of his apartment, It was hard to keep from trying to go back to sleep, I was too at ease next to him. Too prepared for anything that came my way.

This was not helping me keep my promise to myself. At. All.

The second I went to remove myself his eyes blinked open slightly. They opened completely, and he pulled me back down toward him.

"Five more minutes." He mumbled groggily, I chuckled. I fell asleep again after that.

His hand on my hair, and a hushed voice are what woke me.

"Bella…" He pushed my hair away from my face, and I opened my eyes.

"If we don't show up at the coffee shop soon Alice will be suspicious." The second I heard coffee I grew fully attentive.

"Need coffee..." Was all I could muster, a second later I moved from his chest and sat up, rubbing my eyes. His smile was the first thing I focused in on.

"Agreed." He smirked, standing and then extending his hand to me. I remembered as I stood, why we had to go to the coffee shop. Alice had wanted us to stop by to help plan the wedding.

"I found your clothes hung over the towel rack to dry after you fell asleep, so I went ahead and washed them and threw them in the dryer." He handed me the clothes I'd worn for a couple of hours last night.

"Thank you." I said sincerely., smiling at his gesture. I walked to the bathroom to change and came out a few minutes later.

When I got out of the bathroom, Edward was in different clothing too, and he was standing by the door, cell phone at his ear.

"Yes, Mom. I'll be home." I heard a voice at the other end, the woman sounded worried.

"Mom, have you ever known me to miss any important holiday?" Edward sounded annoyed, but there was a tone in his voice that was gentle, even in his irritability. He signaled me to follow him, and we left the apartment, and walked into the elevator.

"Alright Mom, I'll see you next weekend. I love you, bye." He hung up, and looked at me. I realized then that next weekend was Thanksgiving. Not that it mattered much, I usually spent Thanksgiving with Mike's family, my Father wasn't much of a holiday person, and I usually only visited him on his Birthday or long weekends.

"My Mother isn't very at ease during the holiday season. She gets stressed about everything, right down to what kind of tablecloth to use. And then she makes a big deal out of what to get my sister's kids for Christmas." He laughed, an odd apologetic look in his eyes.

"You have a sister?" I asked, curious now.

"Kind of, it's complicated."

"I can keep up."

"We'll go for a walk after the coffee shop, alright?" He smiled.

"Sure." I said, stuffing my hands in my pockets.

We reached the lobby and made our way to Alice and Jasper's coffee shop, which was less than a block away from Edward's apartment.

We got to the coffee shop, and immediately I saw Alice's eyes grow suspicious of Edward and I. I waved at her nervously, and we joined her and Jasper at their corner table near a large picture window.

The meeting was a strange happening, and I didn't recollect much. Except that I was Alice's maid-of-honor, and that Edward was Jasper's best-man. The rest was all dress colors, bachelorette parties, and bridal registries, Jasper and Edward spent most of the time talking about the bachelor party and food. Edward had grown strangely quiet, even towards Jasper. And I could sense that something wasn't right. His body language threw me off, and I couldn't quite find my balance again.

"So," Alice started, ending the meeting. "Next meeting at 6:00 on Tuesday, be there." She said, and I assured her I wouldn't leave her hanging.

Edward and I began our walk, during which he casually held my hand. I stopped halfway down the street.

"So," I turned to him, trying to spark conversation. "Your sister…" I trailed. He looked straight ahead, his expression un-changing.

"My aunt wasn't exactly what someone would call 'parent material', if you know what I mean. She just didn't like the idea of being tied down with children." He paused, and in my own mind I had already began to fill in the blanks.

"So, after Emmett passed, and I graduated high school, my mother didn't think she had it in her to go through the whole 'empty nest' syndrome thing. So she kind of took Tanya in. She was pregnant at the time and only sixteen, but it kept my mom busy, after Tanya's mom kicked her out. After she graduated high school she married the father of her first baby, and they've had two more since then. Keep in mind this was almost 6 years ago. They're actually really happy - Tanya and her husband, I mean. And my parents love being around their grandchildren all the time. They bought them a house just down the street from their's as their wedding present." He explained it all, and I felt like I had a dumbfounded look on my face, so I quickly composed myself.

"That was really nice of them…" It was all I thought to say.

We reached his apartment building, and stopped next to my car.

"Well, class in the morning." I exhaled, and he nodded.

"Work in the morning." He smirked, handing me my keys that he still had in his pocket from last night. His hand moved from mine to a strand of hair in my face, which he pushed behind my ear. Then he placed a kiss on my forehead, slow and gentle, and the simplest thing I'd ever experienced in my life. So simple it just about caused me to collapse right there. I let my breathing catch up to me, and looked into his eyes, searching for something I didn't know whether or not existed.

"Well, I'll see you Tuesday. 6 o'clock." I said, and he nodded.

"Tuesday, six o'clock." A slight smile on his lips. I reached my vehicle, and began the drive home, still completely taken. I parked outside my building, and smiled the whole way up to my apartment.

* * *

><p><strong>Songs:<strong>

**The Best Day of Your Life - Katie Herzig (playing while Edward and Bella discuss wedding details for Jasper and Alice's wedding)**

**Wish You Well - Katie Herzig (playing while Edward and Bella go for a walk, continues as they speak by her car.)**

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**Sorry for the short chapter, it will be made up for in the next, PROMISE! I know I've been kind of disappointing lately, but hey, it's life. What can you do? I'll have another chapter done before the New Year also. Now I just have to make it good enough that you're all held over until possibly Spring Break…. Unless I can find a time during the week to make this a consistent bi-weekly thing. **

**Again, I apologize, just a little tie-over chapter to keep you thinking and on your feet. **

**Will write back soon, **

**Read and REVIEW, I neeeeeeed reviews. Only have 6. Don't want to waste my time if few people are going to read and review this, love writing, but I also loveeee hearing your opinions. No hate mail, please! Thanks, hope you all had a GREATTTT Christmas! **


	5. A Little Hope

"**Come Love, See My Hands" **

**Chapter Five**

"**A Little Hope"**

**Bella's POV**

I woke up Monday morning showered and dressed. I pondered as I made my way to the coffee shop, sure that Edward would be there. I smiled as his eyes caught mine from across the café, he stood and joined me at the counter as I tossed my change in Alice's tip jar.

"Hey." I said, smiling again.

"Hey, yourself." He seemed different, happier.

"Sleep well?" He asked, following me out of the restaurant. I nodded taking a sip of my coffee. Actually no, I did not sleep well, not after your little stunt outside of your apartment building last night. I wondered if he knew that it had affected me as much as it did.

"So, listen." He started. "What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" He asked, and I shrugged.

"I usually spent it with Mike's family, I was thinking about just getting takeout and watching a movie or something. Why?" He smirked.

"I like your idea of a Thanksgiving much better than my family's," He paused, and I laughed along with him. "I was just wondering if you wanted to tag along with me? To Port Angeles, if your not busy. We could stay at my parent's house for a few days, you can meet everyone." He said, hope in his eyes. I was completely off guard, and it felt like he knew that.

"Are you sure it's alright?" I asked nervously.

"Already spoke to them about it, the arrangements are made, you just need to say yes." He pushed, and I laughed.

"Sure, I'll tag along." I smiled, and he moved to place a kiss on my forehead once again.

We parted ways, and I finished out my short week at school. I didn't have any classes after 10 on Tuesday, and I spent almost the whole day packing my suitcase.

Once five thirty came around I was dressed and ready to go meet Alice at the coffee shop. I stepped outside, into the rain, inevitably. And a feeling of being brand new washed over me. I smiled, and hopped into my car. I reached the coffee shop in a few minutes, and parked just outside the door. I stepped inside, and was met with a hug from Alice.

"Hey." I said, hugging her back.

"Hey." She paused, giving me one of her looks, like I'd done something wrong. If you weren't honest with Alice she knew. End. Of. Story.

"I need to talk to you after we speak with the florist, She'll be here in a few minutes."

The florist arrived soon after, and we spent a couple of hours finalizing bouquet arrangements, deciding on orchids and lilies. Edward and I glanced at each other occasionally throughout the meeting, both of us smiling at each other every time our eyes met.

Afterwards we all decided to grab something to eat at a diner a few blocks down. Jasper and Edward got into Edward's car, and Alice and I into mine, I found it unnecessary to take two vehicles but Alice and Jasper had insisted, which instantly made me nervous.

"Bella." Alice said, a very persistent look in her eye. I turned to look at her. "Are you seeing Edward?" She asked. I cowered, unable to answer the question. As I didn't quite know what was going on myself.

"I don't even know, Alice." I paused, feeling absolutely flustered. "I know that I wish it were labeled, and I know that I'm going with him to Port Angeles for Thanksgiving. Other than that you're just as filled in as I am. Why do you ask?"

"What? You're going home with him? That's huge! Bella, he totally loves you. Guys don't take you home to meet their family unless they mean business." She was excited, smiling from ear to ear.

"Alice, the only reason he's taking me is because I didn't have any plans." I argued.

"Bella, I've been friends with Edward for a long time, if he just wants to be friends, he lets you know it." She said, I bit my lip, fighting a smile and then shaking my head.

"Why did you ask?" I said again.

"Well, I may or may not have seen you holding hands outside the shop, and when I walked to the window I saw him kiss you…" She said plainly.

"So you've been spying on us." I challenged.

"Not exactly, it's just, You know how I get! If I feel like someone's hiding something from me, I investigate!" She defended herself. I laughed.

"That you do." I chuckled, letting her be.

We reached the restaurant and got a corner table, Edward and I sat next to each other on the booth, Alice and Jasper sat on a friendship bench across from us. We all sat and talked, happy in each other's company, such a natural connection that it was hard to fight, through our constant laughter and discussing our Thanksgiving plans (which I let Edward explain), the whole setup felt so much like a double date that it gave me hope. Hope that maybe by some miracle Edward was interested in me, and maybe I could at least pretend that I was good enough for him. We ate, and met up at the shop again. Edward and I told Alice and Jasper goodbye, and headed outside.

"Well, that was fun." I said. He held my hand as we stood next to my car.

"I could get used to it." He said, releasing my hand and turning toward me.

"So, we could leave tonight, or we can leave tomorrow morning. If we leave tonight we'll get there at about eleven, or we could leave tomorrow at around eight or nine, and get there at noon. Take your pick." He said casually.

"Tomorrow." I paused. "Just because I don't want to keep them up late." He nodded in agreement. I leant my head against my car, exposing my neck to the cold.

"Sounds like a plan." He said. He leant in, placing a kiss on my neck. That caused me to stand up, dizzily. His eyes were daring, and he took me off guard when his hands held my face still and he kissed the corner of my mouth, which left me with the notion that he would actually kiss me this time, until he backed away.

"I'll meet you at your apartment at nine." He smirked, I stood there, my entire body losing it's warmth.

_Well, That was rude._

I thought to myself.

I had trouble sleeping after that, and spent most of the night tossing and turning in bed. I'd originally planned to sleep well, just so I wasn't out of it on the drive. That mission was poorly executed.

Sometime at about four in the morning I fell asleep, and I woke up to my alarm at eight. Showered, made sure everything was packed, and made myself a cup of coffee while I waited for Edward to arrive. At five till nine I heard a knock on my door, I unlocked and opened it quickly.

"Good morning." Edward greeted me, taking my suitcase from me.

"Morning." I replied. He look surprised that all I had was one suitcase, but I followed him out the door, with no other luggage.

The car ride seemed shorter than I'd expected it to be. It was about a four hour drive avoiding tolls and ferries. I fell asleep about two hours into the drive, purely out of boredom. Edward woke me up when we stopped for gas in Sequim, just about 25 minutes from Port Angeles. I used the bathroom and freshened up, making sure I was presentable enough to meet his family. Edward was in the car waiting when I finished.

The rest of the ride was short, and we pulled up outside of a large two story home with an old charm that radiated through the entire block. Right down to the wrap around porch, upstairs bay window (east facing), and smoke coming out of its' chimney pointing out an obvious fireplace, this house was perfect. It had a large privacy fence surrounding its' lot, and I could see the edge of the forest just at the end of the fence. I saw someone look out the window, and apparently recognizing Edward's vehicle everyone piled onto the front porch. We stayed in the car for a second, and Edward took my hand in his, causing me to face him.

"Nervous..?" He asked, and I felt the knots in my stomach tighten.

"Just a little." I smiled, bluffing. He smiled, and placed a kiss on my forehead, giving me the extra boost of confidence I needed. He released me, and we both stepped from the vehicle. Edward was at my side in a few seconds, and we began the walk up to the porch. Edward's mother stepped onto the lawn and gave Edward a long meaningful hug, he hugged her back. I was met with a blonde woman with a child on her hip, she extended her hand to me.

"I'm Tanya, Edward's sister." She smiled, I shook her hand.

"Bella." I smiled back. Edward's hug with his mother ended and he stepped toward me.

"Alright, so you've met Tanya." he paused, gesturing toward her. "The _monster_ she's holding is Melanie, we call her Mel, she's two." He then gestured to his mother and father.

"Esme." He said, followed by, "Carlisle." Then he pointed at a girl that was only about five or six years old. I imagined it was Tanya's oldest.

"Kate." He pointed at her. "five, Tanya's oldest." He paused once more, pointing toward a man with dark hair and a gentle face.

"Tanya's husband, Ben." and then he pointed at the little girl sitting on the front porch steps. "And Lexi, she just turned four last month." He named everyone, and then spoke to his entire family.

"Guys, this is Bella." Esme greeted me first, hugging me just as long as she had hugged Edward, it may have very well been the most meaningful hug I'd ever experienced in my life. She pulled away from me.

"Welcome to our home." She chimed.

"Thank you." I replied as Carlisle made his way to me, he shook my hand and patted me on the shoulder.

"Welcome." He said. I smiled. Kate walked over to me, she looked up at me, and I crouched to her level.

"Will you play dollies with me?" She asked, causing me to smile. I glanced up at Edward, and he nodded, giving me permission to escape the Adult conversation.

"Sure, sweetie." I replied, and followed her into the house. After playing with Kate for about an hour she started asking me questions.

"Are you gonna be my new Auntie?" She asked, and I heard the door creak open, revealing Edward. I breathed a sigh of relief. He looked at me.

"Having fun?" He asked, joining us where we sat on the floor. Kate answered him.

"Yep, Bella is my new best friend." Kate said, causing me to smile.

"Oh, really? What about me?" Edward asked, I watched the way he acted around Kate, and it made me smile, seeing how good he was with children.

"You're my old best friend." Kate defended herself. I laughed, hugging my knee to my chest, resting my chin on it.

"Oh, I see." Edward replied, smiling too. "Well, dinner is ready, are you gonna come eat with us?" He asked Kate. She looked at me.

"Is Bella coming?" Edward looked up at me.

"Yes, Bella's coming." He told Kate, and she stood up quickly and began pulling on my hand. Her entire face lit up.

"Come on," She shouted, I stood up and Edward and I looked at each other, as she was pulling me toward the kitchen. We smiled at each other. We reached the kitchen and Tanya greeted me, smiling apologetically.

"Sorry." She whispered. I smiled back.

"It's alright."

"Kate." Tanya said, in a motherly tone. "Go sit with Lexi and your father," She ordered.

"I wanna sit with Bella!" Kate said to her mother. Tanya turned to me. "Do you mind?" She asked.

"No, not at all." I replied, smiling. "I'll be there in a second, okay?" I told Kate, she nodded, sitting next to Ben for now. I smiled.

"She's adorable." I said, Tanya gave me a look, that said 'you don't have to deal with her.' "You can have her." She said, laughing. I smiled. Tanya moved into the dining room, putting a plate of food in front of Kate and Lexi, Ben already had one in front of him, he'd already eaten some of it. He was fairly quiet, I saw him stand from the table, taking Mel from Tanya.

"I'll put her to bed." He said. He talked about the fussing toddler in his arms.

"Thanks, she already ate, I'll bring up a cup after dinner." Tanya said.

"I'll get it." I heard him say.

"How are things coming along with getting that restaurant of yours?" Carlisle asked Edward, who instantly looked on edge.

"Well, I have the money saved up, I'm just waiting for a building to open up downtown." He replied. It was the first time I'd ever heard anything about him opening up a restaurant.

"Okay, boys. No business talk at the dinner table." Esme cut in, throwing an apologetic smile my way. After that things grew silent, and I could sense that there was tension between Edward and his father. I saw Edward's hand sitting on the arm of his chair, and I placed mine over it, when he glanced at me, I gave him a re-assuring smile. He put his hand atop mine and held it for a moment before relaxing.

After dinner it was almost nine o'clock, and Tanya (with much convincing done on my part) finally got Kate to go upstairs and get ready for bed. She came back downstairs about fifteen minutes later, in her pajamas.

"Bella!" She ran to me and I picked her up. "I wanted a hug before I went to sleep." I gave her a goodnight hug and sent her on her way. Tanya waited for her at the top of the stairs.

Edward was at my side then, and he reached for my hand.

"I feel like I haven't seen you all day…" He said, he whispered. I smiled.

"Me too…" I said.

"Are you tired?" He asked, I nodded. He led me to the kitchen, where Esme was drinking a cup of tea at the kitchen island.

"We're gonna go ahead and go to sleep.." He told his mother, hand still a hold of mine. She nodded.

"Goodnight," She said, bringing us both in for a hug. She released us and we headed upstairs, entering a room at the very end of the hallway. I walked in, and my suitcase was already on the bed, I'd completely forgotten about it.

"She's a hugger." I mentioned, referring to his mom.

"You have no idea." Edward grabbed a few items of clothing from his suitcase, and headed into the bathroom that was attached to the room we were staying in. Before he shut the door he turned to me.

"There's another bathroom down the hall if you need to change." I nodded, and heard the door shut. I took notice that there was only one bed in the room, exhaled, grabbed a tank top and a pair of sweats, and went for the bathroom down the hall. I took a shower, changed clothes, and headed back toward the room. Edward was already in bed, leant up against the headboard, waiting for me. I sat next to him in the bed, and he wrapped his arm around me, so I rested my head on his chest. He kissed my forehead, and held me closer.

"Sorry about dinner." He apologized.

"Family does that, it's alright." I replied, looking up at him. "But I didn't know you were trying to open up a restaurant." I mentioned.

"I've been trying to ever since I moved to Seattle, my father gets impatient with it, because they paid the deposit on my apartment when I moved in, under the promise that I'd make something of myself while I was there. Be it a chef, restaurant owner, husband, father. Etcetera." He said the last two with an edge in his voice. "I continued to look up at him, now laying with my head on a pillow.

"I haven't done any of the above since I've been there, I'm a cook, in an Italian restaurant. And I'm twenty-four, he just expected that I'd have something figured out by now, and I've made the money to get it started, I just need the space." He explained, I watched the look in his eye grow solemn. I sat up, facing him, closer than I was before.

"Hey," I said, trying to cheer him up. "Sometimes those things work themselves out, and you've got time. If I'd known you'd been looking I would have had my friend try and find you something. I have a friend from high school who's in real estate in Seattle. We could go talk with her after the holiday is over…" I said.

"Really?" He said, and the joy returned in his gaze. I could tell how much he wanted this.

"Really." I said. "It's only fair that I help you out, you've done much more than help me out ever since the whole Mike situation."

"You shouldn't feel like you owe me anything, Bella." He said, taking my hand. "I like being with you, it's nothing of a chore." He said, kissing my forehead and playing with my wet hair. I smiled, lying back down on the pillow. Edward joined me, and wrapped his arm around my waist, then pulled me against him.

"Goodnight." He whispered, I smiled.

"Goodnight." I replied, falling into a deep sleep.

I woke in the morning, facing Edward, whose eyes were open, watching me. I smiled, and he took my hand in his.

"Happy Thanksgiving." He said, smiling too. I nestled my head at his chest.

"Five more minutes." I said, as he wrapped his arms around me. I placed a kiss on his chest.

"Gladly." He replied, kissing my forehead. I heard the door open, then. And Esme walked in.

"Sorry guys," She said, not looking at us as she moved to the windows and opened the curtains. After she was done she turned to look at us, neither of us moved.

"You two are just adorable." She mentioned. Edward opened his eyes.

"Out." He mumbled, pulling me closer, I heard the door shut after that, and I could feel him smiling against my hair as he placed a kiss there once more. I looked up at him, and his eyes met mine.

_Promise. Broken._

I thought, kissing his jaw line, and then sitting up. I looked at the clock, which read eleven a.m. and I stood from the bed.

"Come back." Edward groaned. Sitting up as I rummaged through my suitcase looking for clothes to wear. I ignored him, glancing over my shoulder as I made my way toward the bathroom in his room. I heard him move from the bed, and was surprised when I felt his arms wrap around my waist, he lifted my feet from the floor (causing me to laugh), and carried me back to the bed, where he lay me down where I'd been a few seconds ago. I looked at him, shocked.

"I told you to come back," He smirked, wrapping his arms around me and closing his eyes once again, I turned to face him, and looked him dead in the eye.

"No." I smiled, kissing his cheek before moving from the bed and racing to the bathroom door, which I shut quickly, and he was at in three seconds flat.

"Bella you better open this door." He ordered. I laughed, changing quickly into jeans and an olive green off the shoulder top, when I was finished I opened the door, and he was standing there, pouting. I smiled, chuckling once more. He kissed my cheek, and I wrapped my arms around him. He held me there, and kissed my forehead, then leant to my ear.

"Back in the bed, now." He ordered, his voice deep and raspy, sending chills down my spine, I felt my breath hitch, and he pulled me back to the bed. I lay with my head on the pillows, and he was propped up on his elbow, slightly hovered over me. It was then that I took notice of the facial hair he'd grown overnight. He wrapped his free arm around my waist, and then moved in closer, pulling further down on my top where it hung off of my shoulder. He placed a kiss there, and made his way up my neck, to the corner of my mouth. Where he placed one last kiss. I ran my hand across the scruff on his face, which I didn't mind at all. Then he sat up, smiling at me.

"I've got to get dressed…" He whispered, and I pouted. He moved toward the door, and I sat up.

"Come back." I said, and he turned around, smiling. He came back and sat next to me, kissing my cheek. I rested my head in the crook of his neck. I pulled back, and checked the time, when it said eleven forty-five I looked up at him.

"Hurry." I said, smiling. He smiled back, and left the room, I went into the bathroom and put on my makeup, and added a few curls to my hair before making the bed and sitting smack dab in the middle of it, where it was always the most comfy. Edward walked back into the room about fifteen minutes later, hair wet, and stubble gone, I frowned. He moved to the bed and sat in front of me. I touched his chin and ran my hand across his jaw line. Frowning more.

"It's gone." I pouted. He smirked, kissing my nose.

"You like it?" He asked, chuckling a bit. I nodded

"I'll remember that tomorrow morning." He smiled, kissing the corner of my mouth again. I pulled away, and shook my head.

"It's not the same." I said. "I want it back." I whined jokingly. He chuckled, I rested my cheek against his, and I placed my mouth at his ear.

"I _need_ it back." I whispered, I felt him kiss my neck and then I pulled away, resting my forehead against his. I moved away from him. And left the bed.

"We should go before they come looking for us." I said, laughing.

"You're right," he said, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling me toward him once more. "If they come looking for us, who's to say we're decent…" He pulled me toward him with my belt loops and trailed kisses up my neck. I felt my stomach tighten, and tried not to let out a moan. It was sad that he made me this weak. He gripped my waist tighter, and then , his face met mine, he kissed the corner of my mouth once more. Causing me to let out a gasp, and I fought the urge to kiss him myself, completely sick of waiting for it. He lingered in close proximity, until I regained consciousness and pulled away. His expression grew serious.

"Come on…" I sighed, pulling him by the hand and shaking my head lightly.

We headed downstairs and as we entered the kitchen Esme smiled at us.

"Sleep well?" She gave her son a look, scolding him lightly, as though she thought we had…. Well, you know. I blushed, and looked at the ground, fighting a laugh. Edward gave her a strange look, and something in his gaze must have told her to ease off, because she did.

"I don't know, we were enjoying each other's company when some crazy woman came in and opened up all of the curtains in the room…." He joked, and I laughed, as did Esme.

"She's done that ever since we were kids. She's convinced it gets us out of bed for the day." He explained.

"It worked didn't it?" She challenged him, and I laughed. He shook his head, and led me into the den, which you had to step down into, it had dark hardwood floors, and a large beige sectional facing a 40 inch plasma screen. The dark green paint on the walls set the entire mood, instantly this felt like a family room. He led me to a piano in the corner, and we both sat on the bench. I looked at him, waiting for an explanation as to why he was bringing me to a piano.

"You play?" I asked, shocked.

"Mhm." He nodded, sliding up the small door to the keys. He began to play the butterfly waltz, and I watched as his hands moved fluidly over the keys, he was passionate throughout the songs entirety, and I smiled as I watched him. When the song ended he looked at me.

"I didn't know you were musical…" I said, surprised. He shrugged.

"It's nothing, my mother taught me at a young age, it only developed slightly as I got older. I'm not near as good as you…" He said. I looked at him, confused.

"You've heard me perform?" I asked, unaware of that, also.

"Yeah, Alice and Jasper took me to one of your concerts a year or so ago." He said. I smiled, and then heard Esme walk into the den.

"Hey, lunch is ready." She smiled welcomingly. We stood from the bench, and walked hand in hand to the kitchen.

Thanksgiving dinner passed quickly, and after wards I was lucky enough to be involved in helping them decorate for Christmas. The tree was finished at almost four in the afternoon, and after that we all piled outside, where snow had begun to fall , to hang up Christmas lights, after that, it must have been eight or nine o'clock.

We all crowded back into the house, and all sat in the den watching movies and drinking hot chocolate, before Edward and I knew it, everyone else was asleep, leaving us with the house to ourselves. We headed upstairs and lay in the bed for a while, talking. At about midnight I stood up and moved to look out the window, Edward joined me, we both watched as the snow continued to fall, I couldn't begin to explain how much I wanted to go outside.

"Go outside with me?" I turned to look at him, begging with my eyes. He smiled and nodded, I followed him as he quietly made his way down the stairs, he behaved as though if we got caught something terrible was going to happen to us. We grabbed our coats and went out the back door, entering the large fenced in backyard. I smiled the second my feet crunched into the snow, and I walked about the yard like I'd never experienced snow in my life - I had, just not like this, not on a day as wonderful as this one had been.

Edward stood toward the front of the yard while I ventured throughout it, he looked at me as though I were completely insane going outside to enjoy a snowstorm at this hour. I spun around in circles like a child, I felt completely liberated. Edward walked to the middle of the yard, keeping a distance, watching me intently, but with a content smile on his face. While he wasn't looking I rolled a chunk of snow into a ball, and threw it at him. He looked at me for a long moment.

"Are you insane?" He asked, smiling. And pulling me toward him by my belt loops once more.

"I don't _think_ so…" I replied, laughing.

"You do _not_ want to get into a snowball fight with me…" He dared, I looked at him, and the expression on his face already had me laughing, I started to back away, and just as I started to run from him - knowing his next move before he made it. He grabbed me from behind, lifting me off the ground. We both ended up on the ground in about five inches of snow. Edward sat up, but stayed on the ground, watching me be completely content sitting here, still laughing slightly, even if it was cold and wet. I steadied my breathing, and Edward just looked at me, I sat up, making myself eye-level with him. I looked at him, and he smiled.

"What is it?" I asked, and his smile grew as he shook his head.

"When we met, do you remember what the first thing you said was?" He asked, and I shook my head, realizing that the conversation had grown serious.

"You said 'I wish I was a kid again.' and I told you that you still could be, and I'd show you how sometime…" He explained, and I remembered, nodding.

"I didn't even have to show you…" He smiled, and so did I. He was right, I'd finally let go of Mike, I didn't have to by angry with myself, I was in a position to move on. .

"It was there the whole time…" He said, no smile, just a serious, blank expression as he moved closer to me. We were inches apart now, and I wasn't sure what was different this time.

His lips grazed mine at first, and then when he pulled away, it was only for a brief second. His mouth moved to my ear.

"I love you, Bella…" He whispered. I wasn't sure when the conversation had turned serious, or when it had started to affect me like it did. But I felt a tear spill over as his lips met mine, as they connected with mine, in the sweetest, gentlest kiss ever to exist. He pulled away, searching my eyes, where he discovered that I'd been crying. He looked concerned, his hand instantly moving to my cheek, where he wiped the tears away. I shook my head, and leaned toward him.

"I love you..." I said back, and when I kissed him, any chance in hell I'd had before of keeping that promise I'd made to myself a few days ago was completely shattered.

Because what I'd just said was true.

_I was in love with him, even if it was bad timing_

His hand gripped my waist, as our lips joined again.

_I was in love with him, even if both of us lost everything we ever wanted down the road_

His hands twisted in my hair, his grip tightening. I found myself lying down in the snow again, he hovered above me.

_I was in love with him, that was that. _

After that, we headed back inside, and fell asleep in his room.

* * *

><p><strong>Songs: <strong>

"**Honey Bee" - Zee Avi (Starts when they stop in Sequim, and continues as they pull into the driveway at Edward's parents' house.)**

"**Closest I get" - Katie Herzig (Plays when Edward asks Bella to come back to the bed the first time.)**

"**Wish You Well" - Katie Herzig (Plays during Thanksgiving dinner, and while they put up Christmas decorations. **

"**Looking for you again" - Matthew Perryman Jones (Plays when Edward and Bella sneak outside in the snowstorm, until they go back inside)**

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>

**So, I keep saying that I'll have a chapter up, and then it doesn't happen. But, considering we're on Christmas Break, I'm getting more done that was expected. And already have the next few chapters' ideas in my head. So, I'm going to try and get as much of that done as possible. Because If I go back to school with those ideas in my head, I'll just drive myself insane… see you soon! And happy new year! **


	6. Complete

"**Come Love, See My Hands"**

**Chapter Six**

"**Complete"**

**Edward's POV**

I woke before she did, but I stayed on the bed, completely taken aback from what had happened last night. Was it possible for her to love me as much as I loved her? Was it possible for both of us to feel this complete?

I felt as though my entire universe had shifted, where it had been in shambled, broken down, torn apart, unorganized, and full of absolute disarray, it was now in one full continuous piece. There was hope for us.

**Bella's POV**

I woke with Edward at my side, and as the events of last night all came back to me, I smiled. Edward leant over me, checking to see if I was awake.

"You're awake?" He asked, and I sat up.

"Guess so." I replied, still smiling. He smiled too. He pulled me against him as we both leant up against the headboard. I rested my head on his chest, and he kissed my hair. A few moments passed in silence, and again I took pleasure in knowing that we didn't have to say anything to be around each other. Words had a funny way of screwing things up sometimes.

"You know," He started, and I looked up at him, giving him my full attention. "I meant what I said last night…" He paused again. "That I love you…" He finished, and I could see the hope in his eyes, a new light entirely.

"I love you, too." I smiled, and I thought for a second, trying to remember. "I did say that last night, didn't I?" I asked, not quite sure if I hadn't been rendered completely speechless after that kiss. I took notice of his facial stubble once again, I ran my hand across it and smiled.

"Yes," He smiled. "You did." He pulled me in for a kiss, and I could feel him smile in the middle of it.

I felt complete, and whole again. Almost as though everything we'd left in Seattle for the weekend had never even happened. I felt as though once we got back, I would miss being here, being in Edward's life on a daily basis. I knew I would miss his family, but I knew that I would miss being around him so often even more. I felt my stomach drop at the thought of saying goodbye to everybody tomorrow morning. This was our last day here, and I could already feel the waterworks kicking in. This was the one place that ever felt like home to me, the one place I felt like I belonged.

He kissed me again, slower, longingly. And we no more than pulled away when Kate came bursting into the room, threw herself on the bed, and started jumping up and down, excitement on her face.

"It snowed, It snowed, it snowedddddd!" She shouted. And Edward and I laughed. Tanya walked in then, and smiled apologetically.

"Kate, what did I say?" She scolded her. Kate stopped jumping and moved from the bed. Tanya sent her to go eat breakfast.

"We're all going to go outside after breakfast." Tanya said. "You guys coming?" She asked.

"Sure, we'll come down here in a minute." Edward said, and I smiled. Tanya left, then Edward and I showered and dressed quickly before going downstairs for breakfast. When I saw Edward in the hallway I smiled noticing that he remembered not to shave. Edward stopped me at the top of the staircase, and pulled me back up to the second floor, he gripped my waist, and pulled me away from the stairs completely so that we weren't visible to everyone in the kitchen downstairs.

"Not yet…" He trailed, kissing my neck, causing me to shiver. I pushed him away, smiling as I did so.

"We have to go.." I shook my head, trying to pull him downstairs with me, but he wouldn't budge. Instead, he pulled me back towards him with a little more force than I'd expect from him, and he tenderly placed a kiss on my lips, not just once or twice, but several times. He held my chin gently as he did so, and when he pulled away he smiled.

"Okay, now we can go.." He said, only now I wasn't too sure I could even move. I exhaled and shook it off, following him down the stairs. We entered the kitchen, where Esme and Carlisle were serving breakfast, and for the first time since I'd been here I saw Carlisle kiss his wife, which caused me to smile. After breakfast we all put on our winter attire, and headed outside. It must have snowed more after Edward and I had our little adventure last night, because now there had to be about seven or eight inches of snow on the ground.

Kate stood on the deck in the backyard, unsure of all of the snow. Edward went back to her. "It's just snow.." He explained, and Kate shook her head. "It's just like water, but colder…" He said, and I could see the fear in her eyes as she shook her head once more.

"Alright then, get on." He said, turning around and crouching so that she could get on his back. I smiled, as he continued walking toward me. She saw me standing in the snow, and by the look on her face I knew that she had realized it wasn't so bad, so she began to disengage herself from Edward.

"I want down…" She said, and Edward lowered himself so she could jump down.

"Will you build a snowman with me?" She asked us, and we both agreed. We finished building the body within twenty minutes of being outside, and then Edward went in to find a carrot for the nose, and some black buttons for his eyes and mouth. A few minutes later he came back with everything, plus a scarf and hat. He put everything on the ground, and we started working on his mouth, and eyes, also placing three buttons on the middle part for his shirt. Kate had to go inside to use the bathroom after that, and she told us not to finish without her. Edward reached for my hand, and held it in his, his eyes grew dark, and he pulled me in for a kiss, with the rest of his family watching, but I couldn't bring myself to care one bit. It may have very well been the longest kiss we'd ever had, and as my hands reached for his face I heard Tanya yell at us. Ben had taken Lexi and Mel in about ten minutes ago. So it was just Esme, Carlisle, and Tanya outside with us.

"Take a breather!" She shouted. And Edward pulled away, his eyes met mine, scorching, and then he pulled me in for another kiss, smiling halfway through. We heard Esme next.

"Oh, Tanya, Leave them alone…" She said, and I could almost hear her smiling. Edward continued kissing me, and pulled away a few seconds later. Kate came out a minute later, and we finished building the snowman, and Tanya got Kate to go inside (only under the impression that they would watch Kate's favorite Christmas movie). Esme and Carlisle went inside soon after that, and then there were two.

"Hot cocoa?" Edward asked, and I nodded.

"You bet." I said as we made our way back inside. We sat in the kitchen for a while, drinking hot chocolate and watching Carlisle and Esme make lunch. Small talk bounced about the room, and then Esme and Carlisle started asking me about my career, at which point I tried not to sound like a disappointment. Esme took interest in my music career, and was at least trying to understand my choice in pursuing it. Carlisle, however, I could tell didn't hold an interest in it, and didn't think it was very stable. Maybe it wasn't, but I was _trying_ to make something of myself, at least. Afterwards Edward and I headed upstairs to the room.

"Sorry about my father," He said, taking my hand and leading me to the bed, where we both sat on the edge. I shrugged.

"It's alright. My career choice isn't very stable, or set. But I'll figure something out." I said. "He's right, in some ways." Edward shook his head.

"He's not. It's not right for him to treat people the way that he does, We all understand that he's a doctor and he did something very valuable with his life, but we don't all want to be doctors, or lawyers, or anything near it sometimes." I agreed with him on this, but I knew deep down that there was a major possibility that I didn't make it in my music career, I was close to dropping out of my courses as it was. I hadn't written anything new in months. And I'd become old news back in Seattle. I couldn't think of anything else I'd rather invest my time in, though. I climbed the rest of the way into the bed, and Edward joined me.

"I don't know." I said. "Sometimes I don't even hold an interest in what I do. But I can't even begin to think about what else there is to do…" I trailed, Edward propped himself up on his elbow to face me, he placed his other hand on my torso, where he kept it.

"I don't feel like I have it in me to do anything else, but I don't have it in me to finish my task at hand, either. It's sad that I'm twenty-two and I still have no Idea what I want to do with my life. I feel so…behind. I've spent five years trying to figure it out…and I'm completely clueless to this day." I stared up at the ceiling, thoughtful.

"It's alright, sweetheart. You'll figure it out, we all do at some point." He said, drawing designs, with his fingers from my ribcage to my lower abdomen, causing me to become strangely aware of him.

"I hope so.." I trailed, almost in a whisper now that my breathing was beginning to stagger. I turned to him, and his hand moved to my lower back, we were almost completely against each other, as my stomach met his, his lips met mine. The kiss was full of edge, and I could feel the tension building in the room as I pulled him down on top of me to meet his lips again. I removed his shirt, and sooner than I'd expected mine had joined his on the floor. I felt his hand travel further south to the button on my jeans, which he undid quickly, followed by unzipping them, as he did so, I heard a knock on the door. He pulled away, hearing it also. He moved from the bed, threw on his shirt, and tossed mine to me, which I put on quickly, and then I buttoned my jeans, joining him at the door.

It was Tanya at the door, letting us know that lunch was ready, we said we'd be down in a minute. Edward walked back into the room, with me not far behind. He pulled me close, remorse in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry," He shook his head apologetically. "I really didn't mean to…rush you…" He said, disappointed in himself. I sat next to him on the large chest at the foot of the bed, smiling.

"I didn't feel…_rushed_. Right now, I feel like we were _interrupted_.." I said, and he turned to me, kissing me gently.

"Well, I apologize for _that_, then." He smirked, deepening the kiss and then pulling away. We stood from the chest and headed downstairs.

As the hours passed, I felt less and less excited about leaving tomorrow. By dinner, everyone was a little upset. Tanya, Ben, and the girls were leaving tomorrow too, after us, they had a shorter drive.

I helped Esme wash the dishes after supper, while Edward and Ben watched the girls in the den.

Esme made small talk with me, and when she got around to talking about what time we were leaving tomorrow, I instantly felt my stomach drop.

"Early in the morning, I think. Edward and I have to meet Alice and her fiancé at their Café at noon, so, we have to leave by seven or eight." I said, a tinge of sorrow in my voice. I think Esme noticed that I was upset about having to leave, and as I dried the last dish and put it in the cupboard, she turned to me with a sad look in her eye and brought me in for a long hug. I hugged her back, and when the hug ended I was on the verge of tears.

"It's been great meeting you. And I really hope that you're the girl Edward settles down with." She said, and I realized that all of this was much more serious that I'd originally thought, and as the idea of Edward and I settling down sometime soon set in, I grew more and more fond of the idea. But with the idea of Edward and I settling down, came the idea of Edward and I having children, which caused thoughts of my baby to come to mind, my thoughts grew solemn.

"Thank you, for everything." I said, as a tear escaped, she brought me in for another hug. And then I excused myself, and made my way up to the room, where I felt myself collapse as soon as I stepped inside. I sat in the bed, covering myself up and bringing my legs to my chest. I hadn't expected to miss everyone this much. I barely knew them, what was it that had me so captivated by all of this? I sat there flustered. Tears falling one after the other.

**Edward's POV**

I heard my mother's voice call me into the kitchen, and I was there soon after.

"What is it?" I asked, she looked upset.

"Can you go check on Bella? She's upset about tomorrow, I think." She said, an apologetic smile on her face. I started toward the room, as quickly as I could.

"Oh, and Edward…" I stopped and turned around. "Marry her.." My mother's voice said, serious, but lighthearted. I smiled, shaking my head as I made the rest of the way upstairs.

I knocked on the door before turning the knob and entering. I saw her sitting with her back against the headboard, and her knees hugged to her chest, tears falling every once and a while. I sat in front of her on the bed.

"Hey…" I said. Pulling her in for a hug. She sniffled. "Is it because we're leaving..?" I asked, she nodded. I held her face in my hands, kissing her forehead as her tears continued.

"I'm sorry." She sniffed, shaking her head. "I just didn't expect to love it here as much as I did…And your mother….the way she _hugged_ me.."

"Christmas is only a few weeks away…" I said, consoling her, holding my hand on her cheek to keep the eye contact.

"I know, I just…" She shook her head, at a loss. "I'm just a little emotional right now…" She looked up at me, apologetic.

"It's alright." I smiled at her, and held her hand in mine. "We've got a few more hours to spend with everyone…" I paused. "Are you feeling up to it?" She dried her eyes, and sniffled a few more times, before the tears started to fall even quicker than before. I sat next to her and pulled her into my arms.

**Bella's POV**

He saw right through me, and I couldn't keep this a secret. I felt like I'd been hit by a bus, one that just kept apologizing to have the chance to hit me again.

"Bella, what is it?" He asked, wrapping me in his arms, I rested my head on his chest. "There's no way that you're this upset just over leaving tomorrow…" He said, and I sniffled.

"I wanted that baby…" I said, my voice cracking as more tears fell. And he instantly knew what I meant. "I wanted to keep the baby, and I didn't have the strength to say a word, because I knew that if I would have said anything, I would have ended up alone." Edward pulled me into his lap, and then he kissed my cheek, brushing the hair from my face.

"I wanted that baby more than anything…." I felt my ribcage collapse, as more tears fell. Edward held me tighter, and spent the next hour or so whispering soothing words in my ear, and rubbing my back. I didn't have it in me to continue after that, I'd become completely emotionally exhausted. After that, I didn't have it in me to do anything other than lay in the bed, completely silent. My eyes stayed open and Edward left the room, I heard him walk down the stairs, and I tried to rest my eyes. A few minutes later I heard him come back up the stairs, and he opened the door, and cup in hand. He brought it to me, and I took it from his grasp, I was still silent though. Unable to feel anything but regret now, for making him see me like that.

I took a sip, and as the warm tea ran down my throat I began to fill a smidge better, and he went into the bathroom, and I heard water filling the tub. His bathroom had a large garden tub in the corner, as well as a stand up shower against the wall. He came back into the room and sat with me until my tea was finished, which had me feeling a little renewed.

He pulled me out of bed, and I looked at him the entire time, completely confused as he led me into the bathroom without saying a word. We stepped into the bathroom, and the garden tub was filled, bubbles and all, I almost smiled.

"Just relax, love. Alright?" His eyes burned into mine, and there was enough love in this one moment to hold me over for a lifetime, enough sincerity and gentleness to keep me safe for the rest of my life. He placed a kiss on my forehead, before walking from the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. My robe was already hanging on the hook behind the door. I undressed, sat in the tub, and took my time trying to calm myself. But I couldn't seem to get the fact that Edward had done all of this for me out of my mind. It was the sweetest thing, something completely unexpected, but in a good way. It was obvious then, that I was completely in love with him. There were no doubts, there was nothing to make me stray, and nothing to wish he'd done better. I knew he was in this relationship completely. And all I had to do was fall back, and he'd be there to catch me.

I sat there in the tub, unable to keep from smiling at the fact that he'd done this for me. I drained the tub, and dried myself off, wrapping my robe around my bare body. I walked back to the bed, wet hair a complete mess, but I didn't care. I moved to Edward , his eyes were closed, and his back leant up against the headboard, in an upright position. I brought my face closer , and he continued to stay still, I brought my lips to his. And the second his eyes opened, and he realized it was me, he pulled me toward him again, and he deepened our kiss, pushing my back against the sheets. Our hips were touching as he gripped my waist with one hand, still kissing me. He pulled away, a look of relief in his eyes.

"_You're back_…" He whispered, kissing my collar bone, and I easily picked up on the double meaning in his words, to him, It must have felt like I'd completely checked out.

"_You're_ more wonderful than I ever could have wanted you to be…." I said, and he smirked. "Thank you." I finished, and he responded by bringing his lips to mine again. As his hand slipped inside my robe, a new feeling arrived, one of longing. And as his hand ran over my torso, I removed his shirt, as he untied my robe, I removed his sweats, and as he brought me up to a sitting position he slipped the robe off of my shoulders, and I was left exposed, but I felt strangely at ease, as we both lay there clad in nothing now. As I felt him against me, I knew there was no turning back. We fell together in an amount of lust too deep to understand, too gentle to comprehend, too serious to process, and so completely beautiful and calming that when it was over, no one felt remorse, not even for a second. No one was unhappy, and everything had become completely clear, everything felt a little more settled, and our love had grown deeper. Deeper than I could have ever thought attainable.

We woke in the morning, neither of us saying a word as we packed our bags, and moved them to the car. And as we all sat down to our last breakfast, no one said much of anything. We were quiet, in a somber manor. And after we finished, we all headed out to the porch, where Esme and I both let out a few tears as we hugged goodbye. Kate gave Edward and I both a hug.

"Are you coming back for Christmas?" She asked us, and Edward answered.

"Absolutely, Kate." He said, crouching to her level. She moved to Edward's ear and I heard her whisper something, inaudible to me. As Kate walked away Edward leant over to me.

"She said to make sure that I bring you…." His voice was low, and I smiled. After we had all said our goodbyes, Edward and I got into the car, and began the drive back to Seattle. Neither of us said a word for most of the ride, we were about an hour from Seattle when Edward pulled off at a gas station, parking at the pump, he didn't open his car door after he parked, though. He turned to me, and kept the eye contact.

"Please say something…" Edward's voice said, low and raspy. I turned to him. "Is something wrong..? I just don't want you to keep it from me if it's about what we _did_ last night…I need to know if it upset you." He pleaded, remorse in his eyes. And I shook my head. My hand reaching his cheek.

"It's not about last night." I smiled. "Last night… was _wonderful_. I'm just not sure how to go about falling back into the normal in Seattle. We had time to ourselves in Port Angeles, we won't get that back home." I explained. His hand reached my leg.

"We'll figure it out…" He said. "It might take a while, but we'll make it work." He finished, placing a kiss on my lips before getting out to pump the gas. I waited in the car as he went inside to pay, I heard my phone ringing in my bag and pulled it out to answer it. It was Alice

"Hello?"

"Hey, how was it?" She asked, excited.

"Wonderful…" I trailed, trying to fight a smile. "Hey, we're only about an hour away. So we'll be there soon, but he's on his way back out to the car now, so I'll just talk to you later." I said.

"Alright, Bella. And we're going to do some searching for my dress today…The planner said it's important to start early so you find the one you're completely sure about. And Jasper and Edward are going to be doing some food tasting with the caterer, so make sure he doesn't eat lunch." She said.

"Alright, Alice. We'll be there soon, See you." I said, hanging up just as Edward entered the car.

"Who was that?" He asked.

"Alice, she says don't eat lunch. You and Jasper are going to do food tasting with the caterer." Edward nodded.

"Where are _you_ going to be?" He asked, a little disappointed that we would have to part when we reached Seattle.

"Looking for Alice's dress, apparently." I said, glancing over at him.

"I'd much rather go with you…." He trailed, kissing me before he started the engine and continued the drive. I smiled.

We reached the outskirts of Seattle, and Edward drove straight to Alice and Jaspers house, and we met them there. Alice greeted me with a long hug, and I felt a little on edge. Unsure how to go about being _with _Edward in front of them. I knew things would feel strange for a while, but I hadn't expected it to feel _this_ strange.

He could sense I was ill at ease, and he reached for my hand as we headed into their house.

"We'll be alright." He said in a whisper as we stepped up to their porch. It didn't seem possible that we'd only left for a few days. It seemed like it had been so much longer, maybe that had something to do with the fact that _a lot _happened in those few days. _A lot. _

We stepped into the house, and all sat on the sectional in the living room. I took a corner seat and Edward sat next to me, taking my hand once again.

And now I faced a new problem, I left unsure of what would change our relationship (or if we even had one), and I came back knowing that we did in fact have a relationship, and at that a serious one. Now I couldn't find a way of forming it into words, everything that had happened was impossible to explain. It had been too much, all of it.

"So, how was it?" Alice asked. "Did you guys have a good visit?"

"Yeah, we did." Edward answered her, brushing hair from my eyes and kissing my forehead. I saw Alice smirk. A few seconds passed in silence, and then Alice looked at the clock.

"Bella, we should probably go, our appointment is at twelve thirty, fifteen minute drive." She said, It was ten till noon now. I nodded, and Edward stood when I did. He took the lead in easing us back into our Seattle life, and he pulled me toward him, placing a kiss on my lips before I left.

"Have fun." He said, before releasing me. I smiled, and kissed him back.

"You too." He smiled back and Alice and I walked out the door. We reached the front porch, and that's when Alice went crazy.

"HOLY CRAP!" She said as we shut the front door behind us.

"Alice, chill out." I said, smiling still.

"No, you have to explain what happened!" She shouted as we got into her car, she started the engine and began the drive to the coffee shop.

"You promised me you would tell me how it went!" She said.

"Well, when we left for the weekend, I still wasn't sure if much of anything was happening between us…." I said… pausing. "We got there, and I honestly _fell in love_ with his family. I fell in love with everything there. And apparently he fell in love with me." I said, and Alice turned to look at me, a serious look on her face as we pulled up outside of the bridal shop.

"What?" She said, smiling. I shook my head and looked down, smiling also. We got out of the car, and walked into the shop, we were greeted and seated in the dressing room area. Alice explained the plans to her consultant and told her what kind of dress she wanted, our consultant said she'd be back in a few minutes, leaving Alice and I by ourselves.

"He kissed me for the first time on Thanksgiving night….and…" I stopped, almost trembling when I remembered what we'd done last night.

"And..?" Alice asked, a little surprised that there was more.

"Uh, last night we….." I couldn't find the right word, because it wasn't just sex, and the term making love could begin to cover it. No words that came to mind could begin to describe how wonderful last night had been.

Alice's eyes bulged, as it finally clicked.

"No, way!" She squealed.

I nodded, smiling as I put my hands over my face and shook my head. She looked at me like I'd committed a crime, and then she laughed, completely shocked.

"Jeez… Port Angeles must be a serious place." She said, knowing that with every guy I'd ever been with I'd been dating for at least six months before we took things to the next level.

"You guys are really doing this, then…" She said, smiling again.

"Yeah. We really are…" I replied, smiling. For the first time in a long time, I realized that I was happy

"You're happy…" Alice said.

"I am…" I said, still smiling.

"So how was it…" She asked, arching an eyebrow, I instantly knew what she was talking about.

"Beautiful…" I said, speechless. "He's caring…and gentle, and unconditional." I added, biting my lip as my eyes lit up. Alice smiled.

"I'm _so_ happy for you." She said, her hand touching my leg, I smiled at her.

"Thanks." I replied, and then the consultant came back.

We spent the next three hours trying to decide between two dresses that Alice and I were both completely in love with, one a shorter dress that had Alice written all over it, and then a longer dress with a full length skirt, halter, that was almost completely backless. Alice knew that she probably wasn't going to get a dress today, so she had the store hold both of the gowns promising that she would be in after Christmas to make a decision.

We drove back to her house after that, where Edward and Jasper greeted each of us with a kiss.

"I missed you…" Edward whispered in my ear, low and raspy. Causing a chill to run down my spine, he wrapped his arm around my waist as we said our goodbyes.

As we entered Seattle and grew closer to home. I felt an anxiety creep up on me. I didn't want to go home.

"So, what's the plan?" He asked. "Do you want to go home? Or we could head back to my place.." He trailed.

"Well, I definitely don't want to go home…" I replied, almost suggestively, and he nodded, turning at the next block, and parking outside his apartment building. He grabbed his luggage from the trunk, and we headed inside.

We entered the elevator, he sat his suitcase on the floor, and pulled me toward him, he placed a kiss on my lips, slow and gentle, and as we reached his floor, he picked up his suitcase and led me by the hand to his apartment. We entered, and he had no more than sat his suitcase on the floor and given us the time to remove our jackets and shoes before his lips were on mine, every movement heated now, as he led me to his bedroom, which I'd never been in before. His hands wrapped in my hair, and then moved down to work on my jean zipper as he leant me against the wall, placing kissing on my lips all the while. I pulled his jeans off of him, just as mine dropped to the floor and I stepped out of them. My shirt was gone soon after, followed by his, we met again on the bed, as my bra joined the pile of clothes, we both removed each other last garment after that.

Then we were one, it was different this time, and I had a feeling it was because we weren't in his parent's house. We were liberated. Each movement was still slow, still gentle.

He groaned into my mouth as my hands moved down his chest, And every bit of passion remained between us this time as it had the first, as we both met the end, he pulled me in for another kiss, still joined. I pushed him back and lay on his chest, pulling him in for a kiss yet again as he brought the comforter around us. He turned to me a few minutes later as we lay there, no longer intertwined.

"Are you sure that this doesn't feel rushed to you?" He asked me, concerned that I'd seemed to have given up on being upset about the baby and Mike so easily (I hadn't) but I had to try. I thought as I sat up, bringing the sheet up to cover me as I did so.

"Absolutely not…" I trailed, kissing him before curling up to his chest. He ran his hand down my arm as we lay there, placing a kiss on my forehead every once in a while. We fell asleep after that, at complete peace.

* * *

><p><strong>Songs:<strong>

"**Us against the world" - Coldplay (Plays as Bella and Edward build a snowman with Kate.)**

"**Holding us back." - Katie Herzig (plays as they make their way back to Seattle)**

"**New Romantic" - Laura Marling (Plays while Alice and Bella are at the dress store, talking as Alice tries on wedding dresses.)**

"**How come you never go there?" - Feist (plays when Edward and Bella get back to his apartment building.**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Yep, so here's another chapter. And it was kind of crappy but hopefully you guys get over it…. =/ oh well. **


	7. Morning Coffee and Opportunities

"**Come Love, See My Hands"**

**Chapter Seven**

"**Morning Coffee and Opportunities"**

**Bella's POV**

I woke a few hours later to my phone ringing. As I walked from the bedroom and found my bag where I'd dropped it in the hallway, I heard Edward stir in the bed, I took the sheet with me, covering myself as I went.

I crouched to the floor, and grabbed my phone, flipping it open without checking the ID.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Bella…" I heard Mike's voice on the other end, as Edward walked out into the hallway, pants on again, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck.

"Why are you calling?" I said, my voice a little angrier than I'd wanted it to be. "Bella, I need you back…" He sounded drunk.

"Mike, I don't have time for this." I felt Edward move away from me, growing concerned when he heard who I was talking too. "I've got more important things to do than sit here and be tossed around like your own personal chew toy. I've moved on, maybe you should just try and be happy with Jessica. Don't screw her out of a family like you did to me." I said, and when I heard him start to cry, my inquisition about him being drunk was proven accurate. I hung up, and put my phone back in my bag. I turned around and I must have looked upset, because Edward had pulled me to his chest in a second, and when I looked up at him and smiled, he looked confused.

"You're not upset?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"He was drunk." I explained, then adding. "And I meant what I said…" He smiled at that, releasing me, then pushing a strand of hair behind my ear before he kissed me. I smiled in the middle of the kiss, and then moved away from him.

"I should probably get home…." I breathed, almost a whisper. He nodded, and we went back to the room, dressing ourselves before heading out of his apartment building to the car. It was starting to snow, but only lightly. We pulled up in front of my apartment a few minutes later, and he carried my luggage for me up to the door. I unlocked it, and we stepped inside.

"Thank you…" I said, and he turned to me, a slight sadness in his eyes. "This weekend was…. Perfect." I finished, and he brought me in for another kiss, then began to pull away from me.

"I love you." He said in a low whisper, in a tone that seemed to be his way of reminding me.

"I love you." I smiled, kissing him once more before he walked out the door. I unpacked my luggage, and went to bed early.

Sunday morning I woke up completely rejuvenated.

I left to get coffee, and made my way to Edward's apartment with two cups in hand, I knocked on his door, and he answered moments later. He smiled when he saw me, and he brought me in for a kiss.

"Coffee?" I said, raising an eyebrow as I handed him the cup, he smiled and took a sip, then sat the cup on the counter, took mine from my hand and put it next to his. He pulled me toward him, placing a kiss on my lips again.

"You really shouldn't bring coffee over here. If I fall anymore in love with you things are going to get dangerous…" He smirked, a sly smile across his face. I laughed, kissing him again.

"I was actually about to stop by your place…" He started. "Alice and Jasper want to go do something together, something that isn't wedding planning or business related. Are you alright with that?" I pouted, and pulled him toward me again, kissing him once more.

"I was hoping it would just be us today…" I whispered, kissing him again. "But I'll manage…" I finished, and when I pulled away his eyes stayed shut a few seconds before he snapped back to reality, I smiled. He cleared his throat.

"Um.." He started, his voice shaking. "I could cancel, I'm sure we could all go out another time." His eyes were smoldering and he kissed me again. I chuckled.

"You could….but hiding out in your apartment making love all day isn't going to help us readjust to Seattle very much, now is it?" I challenged him. He shook his head, disagreeing as a smiled came across his face.

"I beg to differ…" He whispered, pulling me in for a kiss, his grip on my hips tightening, and just as I was about to give in, his phone rang. I smiled as he pulled away and answered the call. He turned to me after discussing with either Alice or Jasper, I wasn't sure which.

"They want to meet at the coffee shop…." He said, pouting a little bit. I laughed, and pulled him in for another kiss.

"Let's go…" I said, picking up the coffee from the counter while he put his shoes and coat on, I handed him his cup as we walked out the door. We were at the coffee shop in minutes and Alice and Jasper stood outside waiting for us, the shop was closed today.

We all greeted each other, and spent most of the day walking around downtown, and hitting up all of the Sunday flea markets. And throughout the day we had all grown accustomed to being around each other as couples. At around five, we started to walk back toward the coffee shop, through with browsing for the day. A few blocks away from the shop, Edward pulled me onto his back, carrying me the rest of the way there.

When we reached the coffee shop, I jumped down from his back, and we all said our goodbyes. Edward took my hand in his as we walked back to his apartment.

Things seemed to be simple again, and the change between Port Angeles and Seattle had gone over so simply I was almost skeptical. Could it have really been this easy?

We stepped inside, and sat on the couch, he pulled me into his lap and I rested my head on his chest. We lay there for about fifteen minutes, just resting, and then Edward sat up, causing me to do the same.

"Hungry?" He asked, and I nodded, he moved to the kitchen counter, and dialed a phone number. Ordering Chinese takeout, before he hung up.

"I'm going to go pick up the food, and I'll be back." He said, walked towards the couch where I still sat, he kissed me, and I nodded. He left, and I lay on the couch, drifting to sleep after waiting for about ten minutes. I heard the door open, and sat up from the couch.

"Hey," He said, smiling, bags in hand.

"Hey…" I yawned, stretching.

"Looks like you're going to get that Thanksgiving you'd planned on having, anyway…" He smiled, and I smiled back. I stood from the couch, and helped him take the food out of the bags. We moved everything to the coffee table, and he popped in a dvd while I sat on the couch, eating. We watched the movie as we ate, and as we sat there next to each other, I curled up against his chest, and he wrapped his arm around me.

We fell asleep there on the couch, and I woke up at about nine, and as I moved from Edward, he woke also.

"Do you work tomorrow..?" I asked him, He shook his head, smiling and bringing me in for a kiss.

"Do you have class?" He asked me. I nodded, then his lips latched onto mine, begging for attention.

"At one…." I staggered, as his kisses trailed further down my neck. I pulled his face up to meet mine, and as our eyes locked, I gave in, and I'd lost myself completely. I pulled him onto me, our lips dancing across each others until he pulled me from the couch, and led me to his room.

"Good morning." I heard him say just as my eyes had begin to flutter open, he placed a kiss on my lips, and I smiled, snuggling up to his chest.

"Good morning." I mumbled, moving to sit a top him, nothing between us as I made the movement. He pulled me down, and placed a long meaningful kiss on my lips.

"There are no words to describe how much I love you…." I whispered into his ear, my hand reaching his cheek, which he still hadn't shaved, I smiled at that. I kissed his cheek before moving back to make eye contact with him.

"It's good to know that neither of us could find a word to describe this, then." He smirked, pulling me in for a kiss. I rolled off of him, and left the bed, finding my phone in my jeans pocket on the floor.

"I'll be back." I said, leaving the room. I walked down the hall and called Angela, the realtor, scheduling an appointment with her on Friday for Edward. I walked back into the room, smiling.

"Guess what?" I asked, laying next to him in the bed. He smiled at me.

"What?" He asked, placing a kiss on my lips.

"I got you an appointment with the realtor on Friday." I smiled, and he smiled back.

"Thank you.." He said, sincerely, before pulling me in for a kiss.

"We have to get out of this bed…." I said, smiling, and sitting up.

"Lying won't get you anywhere, Bella…" He said, causing me to laugh. He pulled me back down, kissing me once more.

"I'm serious…" I sat up again, giving him a serious glare. "I have a class at one…" He pouted, but agreed, leaving the bed the same time I did. He made us breakfast, which we ate at the bar in the kitchen. He had a dining table for six in the corner, but he claimed to never use it.

After we ate, we said our goodbyes, and I drove back to my apartment. I showered, dressed, and went to class at one.

* * *

><p>After class, I drove back to my apartment, taken aback when I saw Edward sitting in his car outside. I parked behind him, and he met me on the sidewalk.<p>

"Hello…" He smiled warmly, kissing me. I smiled back.

"What are you doing here..?" I said confused.

"Well," He began, taking my hand and pulling me closer. "I thought I would take my beautiful girlfriend to dinner at six, give her a kiss goodnight, and go back to my place alone. Like a gentleman." He said, smirking as he said the last part. I smiled at him, then brought my lips to his.

"Well, that sounds nice." I smiled again, kissing him once more. He pulled away, and smiled.

"I'll be back to pick you up at six." He said, and I nodded, releasing his hand as he walked back to his car.

I didn't do much when I got inside except for listen to music. At five I changed into a dress, and at around five thirty I received a phone call. I ran to the living room to answer it.

"Hello?" I answered. I almost dropped the phone when the other person replied. The man that sounded older explained that he was from a record company and that they were very interested in signing me. I felt my stomach dropped as the realizations of what being signed meant for me right now.

I hadn't written anything new in months.

I was days away from dropping out of the Academy of Music, just because I wasn't sure I had it in me any longer.

It meant less time with Edward, and less time off.

I must have let the line grow silent, because what snapped me back to reality was the man's voice again.

"Miss Swan, you don't have to give us an answer now, We'll give you the rest of the week to think about it." He gave me the extension number I could reach him at, and I wrote it down as he spoke. The first person I called after that was Alice, who said she would stop by to talk about it with me later.

At six, Edward showed up, roses in hand, and a warm smile on his face. I put the flowers in a vase, and we made our way to the restaurant. The date went by slow, and I was having trouble concentrating on just being here with him. And I could tell he was suspicious. I wanted to speak to Alice about this record deal before I said anything about it to anyone else. Especially Edward, because I knew he would tell me to do it. He drove me back to my apartment and we sat there in the car for a moment.

"Bella." He turned to me. "Is something wrong?" He grew concerned. "You've been strangely quiet all night, and you look like you're absolutely flustered." He finished, and I felt worse knowing that he could tell that I was an absolute mess.

"I'm fine, just worried about some school stuff, it's nothing really. I'll be back to normal in no time." I assured him, and he walked me to my door, Giving me the goodnight kiss he'd promised, which was the best goodnight kiss I'd ever had in my life.

He left after that, and I breathed a sigh of relief when Alice showed up at my door.

"What's going on?" She said, coming into my apartment, and sitting on the couch, I joined her.

"I got an offer from a record company today….they want my answer by the end of the week." I said, and she got excited, sure that I was going to take the deal.

"I don't understand," She shook her head, seeing that there was doubt. "You've wanted this since you moved here, why are you changing your mind now?" She asked.

"I'm not just now changing my mind, Alice. I've been wanting to drop out of the Academy since semester started." I paused, making eye contact with her. "I haven't written in months…and now I'm just not sure if I want it….at least not as much as some of the other people do." I explained, she nodded. There was a silence.

"Are you sure…" She started, acting as though she had decided mid question not to ask it. "This doesn't have something to do with Edward..?" She asked, and I looked down, unable to answer the question. I sighed.

"I can't tell you that it _doesn't_." I said, and I thought I'd seen her shake her head.

"Bella, I can't tell you what to do, That's not my right. I just don't want you to regret not doing this later down the road. And I don't want you to take that out on Edward, either. If you honest to God don't have it in you any longer, I believe you, and I support your decision to turn down the offer. But if you have even a smidge of doubt, take it." She said. I nodded.

"I'm not going to take it." I said, and she looked almost surprised.

"You're sure.?"

"Absolutely. I can find something else to make me feel accomplished. This record deal needs to go to somebody who can't find anything else. Someone who knows they want it, and is going to do something with it." I said, Alice smiled warmly, and brought me in for a hug.

"It'll be alright." She said. "You'll figure something out." She encouraged, and I smiled back at her.

Alice left soon after. And I went to bed.

I woke in the morning, and made the phone call to the recording company. Afterwards, I felt strangely liberated. And then I drove to school, and filled out the paperwork necessary to un-enroll in the classes I was taking.

I drove back home after that…

And I sat in the middle of my bed.

And I cried.

* * *

><p>The week went by quickly after that. And I'd spent the past two days searching for a job.<p>

I still hadn't told Edward.

And I dreaded it.

He deserved so much better.

He met with the realtor on Friday, and she was searching for a space.

And then it had already been three weeks since I'd dropped out. When I got hired at a childcare center I had applied to, I took it with a grain of salt, held my chin up, and showed up there at nine o'clock the next morning, ready and willing.

I hadn't expected to like the job as much as I did, and I wasn't sure if it was the carefree nature of it all, or if it was the children that kept a smile on my face the entire time I was there. Either way, things had started to turn around, until Edward showed up at my door one night.

He walked inside, a torn expression on his face.

"Bella…" He breathed, upset. "You've been lying to me…" He said, almost like a question, and this was what I'd dreaded the most.

"I'm sorry, Edward…" I trailed, a tear slipping out. "You don't understand…" He shook his head.

"You dropped out of the Academy, you turned down a record deal….all without once speaking to me about it….why?" He said, hurt. More tears spilled over. "How could you do this… I thought we had the kind of relationship that we could speak to each other about this sort of thing." He wouldn't let me get a word in, and as he continued to point out the wrong I'd done, my tears continued. I ran my hands through my hair, and turned to him.

"I knew you would change my mind." I said softly, before leaving him in the living room, I went to my bedroom, and sat there on my bed, trying to keep myself from being so upset. I sat there, the guiltiest I could ever look. This was my fault, I didn't have to lie about it, and now if this was over, I'd ruined just about the greatest thing I'd ever had in my life. I heard him knock on the door a second later, and he opened it with ease. He sat on the edge of the bed, next to me. I didn't look at him.

"Look, if you don't want to see me or a while….it's fine. I deserve that. I shouldn't have lied to you." I tried to stay composed, but a tear had somehow managed to slip out as I spoke. He chuckled, and scooted closer to me on the bed. His hands reached my cheeks, causing me to look at him.

"Bella." He smiled. "Do you really think that I'm going to give up on us just because we had one little _misunderstanding_?" He asked, and I didn't reply. He had no idea how many times Mike and I had broken up over stupid things like this, it was constant and certain. I was used to being left after doing something small and repairable. A tear fell again.

"Bella, I'm not going anywhere." He said in a whisper. "Are you misunderstanding everything that I've said to you? I'm in this for the long haul. Couples get into arguments, that happens…." He trailed, and I looked up at him again.

"I'm sorry I shouted…It's not the right way to go about discussing this with you…and I'm sorry that you're crying." He said, placing a light kiss on my lips, holding my chin. His words had almost instantly soothed me, and I pulled him in for another kiss, just before we fell back onto the bed, throwing the fight out the window, all of the anger and misunderstanding gone. As we grew closer, and we were stripped bare, there was a new edge to every movement we made, as we fell together into a deep _apology_ too difficult to grasp.

* * *

><p>I woke up the next morning, with him next to me, and I took pride in knowing that he was mine, and that I was his. That nothing I did would screw it up, and nothing he did would either. He opened his eyes.<p>

"Happy Sunday…" I smiled, kissing him, he pulled me in for another. I rested against his chest, and we lay there the rest of the day. Laying in my bed, and wrapping ourselves in sheets as we walked around the house, moving to the kitchen every once in a while to eat, never clothing ourselves for the sake of the clothes not being on long. It had been weeks since we'd been able to do this, and we were well aware of it, as he pulled me in time and time again.

"I'm leaving for Port Angeles on Wednesday for Christmas…if you still want to come?" He said, as we lay in the bed, I was leant against his chest, and his hand brushing my hair back.

"I always want to go to Port Angeles…" I said. And then I remembered that it was Christmas. I sat up and looked at him.

"What am I going to get everyone…?" I asked, and he shrugged.

"You don't have to get them anything…" He trailed.

"Yes, I do…" I said, leaving the bed, returning with a pen and a piece of paper.

"You really don't need to get them anything…" He said, and I glared at him.

"At least for the girls…" I said, and he shrugged, giving in. I started a list, writing down two gifts for each of Tanya's girls.

I sat the paper on my nightstand, and turned my attention back to Edward, which he seemed to be grateful for. He brought me in for a kiss, I pushed him back, and straddled him.

"I'm going to go take a bath….you want to come?" I asked, and he smirked, sat up, and carried me to the bathroom.

* * *

><p>Edward and I were already off for Christmas break, technically. And when we woke up the next morning, it was my one and only objective to get out of the bed and get the Christmas shopping done. I woke up before he did, and I drove to the realty office, speaking briefly with Angela about finding Edward his restaurant space.<p>

"I found a couple of places for sell under his budget, I could show them to you guys later today, if you'd like?" She said, and I agreed, I told her we would meet her at the first place around four.

I headed back to my apartment with coffee and only a few groceries, enough for the next two days, since we were about to leave. I walked in, and Edward was just walking out of the bedroom.

"Happy Monday…" I trailed, bringing him in for a kiss after I sat the groceries down.

"Coffee.." I said, handing him a cup. He smirked, and set it on the counter, pulling me in for another kiss. I stopped him when he came in for yet another.

"None of that today… " I said, moving away from him, he pouted. "I want to take care of the girls' presents before we go see the two places that the realtor found so far. She's meeting us at the first place at four." I said, and he looked surprised. He took a sip of his coffee, and moved to my side.

"Did I ever tell you how absolutely wonderful you are?" He said, pulling me in for a kiss. "Especially in the morning…" He kissed me a few more times, before going out to his car, I heard him leave and he was back in thirty minutes, showered and dressed. I started making breakfast about ten minutes after he left. He walked into the apartment. I was standing over the stove, finishing up the eggs when he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I love you…" He whispered in my ear. I moved the pan to a cooled burner and shut the flame off.

"I love you back….." I trailed, kissing him, and then pulling away hastily. "But we have things to do…" He smirked, and I got two plates from the cupboard, placing them on the kitchen table. I served breakfast, and he stood, watching me. He joined me at the table, a smirk on his face as we ate our breakfast in silence. After we finished, we headed straight to the mall, where I found each of the girls a toy and an outfit, size estimating with Edward. Throughout all of the baby clothes and seeing the parents in the stores we were in, I'd grown much to excited to start a family, and I found it hard to contain myself as we finished our shopping. But I'd somehow managed. We left the mall a little after three, and drove straight to the first location, Angela was already there, and she let us in early.

We walked into the building, which had been newly remodeled, kitchen included. I watched Edward's face the entire time, as he thought up his vision in the space, but I could tell this wasn't it for him. It seemed too modern, everything was designed in a way that was much too new for him. We finished looking at the first one, which he'd said many positive things about, and then we drove to the second location which was a lot closer to where he originally wanted the restaurant to be. It wasn't far from the Café, nor where either of us lived.

We walked in, and almost instantly I saw Edward's eyes light up, the space was historic looking, with tall ceilings, and remodeled dark wood floors, intricate molding brought a romantic vibe to the building, and as we walked through the space, Edward couldn't help but smile, his happiness growing more apparent as we came across a fireplace in a more secluded area, separated from the rest of it with French doors. As we entered the kitchen, I thought he was going to cry, just in front of us, was an old brick oven.

"This is it…" He trailed, and I smiled. Angela turned to us, a smile on her face also.

"There's more, I'll let you two see this part for yourselves, Just up the stairs there. There's an attached apartment, 3 bedroom, two bath, very open." She said. Edward and I glanced at each other, and he led me up the stairs with him. We entered the apartment, which had the best floor plan I'd ever seen in my life, there was an antique gas stove in the kitchen, and as we walked throughout the rest of the space, every room that we entered surprised me a little bit more. And when we entered the master bath, which had just been remodeled also, a large garden tub in the corner, his and hers sinks, and a large stand up shower. Edward took my hand and led me back to the living / kitchen area, a smile on his face.

"Bella…" He started, and I looked at him. "If I get this place…" He paused, a nervous look in his eye. "I want you to live here with me…" He finished, and I smiled, as I let out a deep breath.

"Really?" I asked, a tear spilling over. He nodded, and pulled me toward him.

"Really." He said, pulling me in for a kiss. He looked at the space, ideas running through his head as we made our way back downstairs, and I couldn't help but smile. We reached Angela.

"How much?" He asked her, almost nervous.

"This one is fifteen thousand under the budget we discussed a few weeks ago." She said, and Edward smiled.

"This is it…" He told her, and she nodded. "It's perfect." He added.

"Do you want to head back to my office and get started on paperwork then? If we start now we should be able to get a hold of the owner before Christmas.." He nodded, and we drove back to the office. We both smiled the entire time.

He finished up the paperwork, and Angela faxed it on the spot. We left, and she said she would get a hold of us as soon as she got an answer. We left completely ecstatic, and we stopped by the coffee shop, to see Alice and Jasper when we saw their car in one of the parking spaces. Edward took my hand as we headed inside, we sat with Alice and Jasper when we walked in, and we explained the restaurant we'd just looked at. And then Edward looked at me, a smiled on his face as he turned back to them.

"And I asked Bella to move in with me…" He said, and Alice just about blew a gasket. Jasper gave us his approval as well, and we all went out to dinner, celebrating.

* * *

><p>AN: Hey guys, so here's chapter seven, things are getting interesting, huh? (: Well hope to have another one up next weekend. But I'm not promising anything. :P


	8. Christmas

"**Come Love, See My Hands"**

**Chapter Eight**

"**Christmas"**

**Bella's POV**

_I couldn't find anything wrong with our lives right now. We were happy, everything was perfect. _

I woke up Tuesday morning in my apartment, alone. Edward had left last night so that we could both pack our bags for Port Angeles. I'd no more than finished packing. When my stomach started flipping around, causing me to make a quick trip to the bathroom, where I threw up and then brushed my teeth, writing it off as a stomach bug.

Edward came over later, and we met Alice and Jasper at the Café, for another meeting over their wedding. We finished, and headed back to my place, where we wrapped the girls' presents, and loaded them up in Edwards car, along with my suitcase. We headed back inside after that, and Edward sat on the couch, and we watched a movie, I fell asleep on his lap about twenty minutes in. He woke me up at around eight that night, and led me to my bed, where I quickly fell back to sleep.

The next morning, my alarm woke me, and Edward showed up at one, like we had decided on. We left for Port Angeles, we were about forty minutes away from there when my stomach started acting up again. Edward pulled off at a gas station, where I threw up for a second time. I walked back to the car, after purchasing some breath mints, since I didn't have my toothbrush on me.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" He asked, taking my hand, his expression concerned. I nodded, and fell asleep for the rest of the ride. He woke me up when we reached his parents' house, and Esme greeted us, helping us carry in the presents, Edward and I grabbed our suitcases.

"How have you guys been?" She asked, smiling as we came back downstairs from putting our suitcases in our room.

"Great.." I smiled, and she brought me in for a hug. I didn't know if Edward wanted to know about the restaurant, so I didn't say anything.

At dinner we got on the subject of my music career, and I explained to everyone that I'd dropped out of the Academy and I was working at a Daycare center. I wasn't sure how that had gone over.. No one said much of anything. After dinner Edward and I headed straight upstairs, and I had no more than gotten situated next to him in the bed when my stomach started acting up yet again. I made the way to the bathroom, Edward not far behind me as he knelt next to me on the floor, rubbing my back and holding my hair. I leant against the tub, resting my head in my hands as I tried to chase the nausea away. Edward sat with me.

"Are you sure you're alright…maybe we shouldn't have come…" He said, checking my forehead for a fever.

"You don't have a fever…" He said, as I went back for the toilet, vomiting a second time. He held my hair again, and when I sat against the tub the second time, he stood from the floor.

"I'll be back, I'm going to send Esme up to sit with you while I go to the store." He said, and I nodded.

**Edward's POV**

I made my way down the stairs, getting Bella to feel better my one and only objective, I reached the kitchen, and my mother was sitting at the breakfast bar.

"Hey, mom." I said, sitting next to her. "I've got to run to the store to get some things for Bella. She's not feeling well. You think you could go sit with her while I'm gone?" I asked, and she looked up from her cup of tea.

"What's wrong with her?" She said, standing from the bar, I followed her.

"She threw up a few times…" I said. My mother's expression grew solemn, as she headed up the stairs.

"Go ahead, I'll sit with her until you're back." She said, and I nodded, making my way out the door.

**Bella's POV**

I sat on the bathroom floor, the cool of the bathtub against my back soothing me. I heard Esme walk in.

"Hey, sweetie, are you alright?" She said, sitting next to me. I shrugged.

"Just a stomach bug…" I mumbled, taking in a deep breath, and holding my stomach as the nausea disintegrated. She brushed my hair out my face, and stood up, helping me stand as she did so.

"Edward went to the store to get you a few things." She said, I nodded. She led me to the bed, where I laid down. She left for a second, and came back with a heating pad. I looked at her strange.

"I'm not sore…" I said, and she smiled.

"I know, but it's soothing, whether you're in pain or not." I smiled at her. She plugged it in, and lay it next to me, I placed my hand on it, and she was right, almost instantly I felt relaxed. I lay there, and Esme laid next to me in the bed, running her hands through my hair.

She felt like a mother to me, in all the ways possible.

Edward returned ten minutes later, and I thanked Esme, she left the room, a smile on her face.

"Feeling better?" He asked, taking the spot his mother had been in just minutes ago. I nodded, crawling toward him and laying my head on his chest. He handed me a package of saltine crackers.

"Eat a few when you feel sick…It should help." He said, I put them on the nightstand. He placed a kiss on my forehead.

I fell asleep soon after that, and woke up alone, with the sun beating in through the window. Instantly I felt my stomach grow malicious, and reached for the crackers, but it was too late, I ran to the bathroom. I'd just about had it. I didn't want to spend Christmas cooped up in the bathroom vomiting every five minutes. Today was Christmas Eve, and I was sure that everyone was downstairs beginning their typical Christmas Eve traditions. I heard the bedroom door open a few minutes later.

"Hey, you're awake…" Edward's voice said, as he sat next to me on the floor.

"Go downstairs, I don't want to get you sick…" I said, and he took my hand.

"I don't want _you_ sitting up here alone…" He smiled, kissing my forehead.

"I take it the cracker trick didn't work…" He said.

"I didn't get to them in time…" I said, standing up, and going for the crackers on the nightstand, determined to get a few in me before the nausea returned. I made it through the afternoon, and Edward had been on the phone for a couple of hours, keeping me on my toes. He had the biggest smile on his face when he came to sit with us at the dinner table, where Esme was setting the table for dinner.

"What is it?" I asked, smiling, as he sat next to me.

"You'll find out.." He smirked, and I almost pouted. We finished dinner in about an hour, and headed into the den, where Carlisle read us The Night Before Christmas.

Edward stood up after he finished, to make an announcement. He smiled the entire time.

"Bella, we got the place…" He said, everyone else was out of the loop, and as it sunk in, I stood up from the couch, smiling as he brought me in for a hug, kissing me after wards.

"This is fantastic." I smiled, turning back toward his family. He stood, watching their faces as I watched his.

"I just closed on a property for the restaurant." He said, and his father looked surprised, but proud at the same time. Esme brought him in for a hug, and we met each other in congratulations. When everyone settled down, and sat back on the couch, he took my hand and stood waiting for everyone's attention again.

"There's more…" He said. "The restaurant _we_ just bought has a three bedroom apartment attached, and I've asked Bella to move in with me…" He announced, and I smiled when he said 'we.' Esme brought me in for a hug, and everyone seemed to be perfectly alright with his decision, with us living together. I didn't think that this Christmas could have gotten any better. I felt welcomed into their family, and as Edward sat on the couch, he pulled me next to him, and we all sat together to watch Christmas movies. For some reason, everyone else was passed out by the time the second movie had ended, and Edward glanced at the clock. A smile on his face when he turned back to me.

"Merry Christmas.." He smiled, pulling me in for a kiss. We headed upstairs, and went to bed, both of us content, and relaxed.

We woke in the morning to Tanya, Esme, and Kate making random noises as they entered our room, it sounded like chanting, and when they finished, all I gathered was a 'Merry Christmas.' Edward sat up next to me in the bed, a smile on his face as I glanced over at him.

"Family tradition." He said, and I laughed. We went downstairs and crowded around the Christmas tree, Kate bringing everyone their presents. I looked surprised when she brought one to me. I looked at Esme and Carlisle.

"You guys didn't need to get me anything…" I said, touched.

"Of course we did…" Esme said. "We didn't spend much…I made it myself." She said, and that made me feel a little better. We watched as the girls opened their presents, and Tanya thanked me for getting them something. I opened mine next, and almost started to cry. In front of me was the most beautiful hand-knit scarf I'd ever seen in my life, white and fluffy. I must have thanked Esme fifteen times at least, and I hugged her at least three times. The fact that she had made this, made it all the more special to me. Edward's father stood then, and he brought Edward an envelope, a red bow placed on it, he looked at his parents, unsure of the gift.

"This is from both of us…" Carlisle said, sitting back down in his chair. Edward glanced at me, and then turned his attention to the envelope, which he opened carefully. He pulled out a check, and instantly shook his head, un-believing.

"It's a check for twenty thousand dollars…" Edward said. And then it grew silent in the living room.

"I can't accept this…" He said, his expression growing emotional. "I truly appreciate it, but there's no way I can accept it." He said, and Carlisle stayed sitting.

"Use it for the restaurant, or to buy furniture for you and Bella in your new place…I've had this money saved up for you since you left for Seattle. I've been planning on giving it to you when you finally got a place to start your restaurant." Carlisle spoke, and I could tell that neither of them were used to having a connection like this one. Edward stood.

"Thank you.." He said, and his father met him halfway, bringing him in for a hug. Edward kept eye contact with me, and I smiled warmly at him. I looked at Carlisle, a gentle expression on my face.

"Thank you." I said to him and Esme, and Edward held my hand in his as we sat there. We watched as Ben opened his present, and Tanya opened hers. Ben got two tickets to a sports game, and Tanya got a tennis bracelet with the girls' names and birthstones on it.

We all separated after that, and Edward and I sat in our room, curled up against each other in the bed for a while. I hadn't been sick yet this morning, which I was grateful for. Edward went downstairs for a bit, and I laid down in the bed, falling asleep a few minutes after he left.

**Edward's POV**

I left the bedroom, making my way downstairs to help my mother with Christmas Dinner. I reached the kitchen, almost completely unaware of how to go about speaking to my parents after they had given me that Christmas present. I was in shock.

Esme had finished cooking the turkey, and it was cooling on the counter, instantly she greeted me with a smile.

"Hey, sweetie." She said. "Is Bella feeling any better?"

"Well, she hasn't thrown up yet today….she's upstairs sleeping.." I said, Esme nodded.

"Thank you, again. For the check…" I said, and she smiled.

"Thank your father for the check…not me." She said, and I nodded. I stayed in the kitchen with her a little while longer while she continued preparing the meal, and then made my way to my father's office, I knocked on the door.

"Come in.." I heard him say, and I turned the knob.

"Hey…" I said, sitting in the chair in the corner. "I just wanted to thank you again, for the check…" I said, and he nodded.

"Well, you're finally making something of yourself, aren't you?" He stood, and I looked up at him. "You've found someone to share your life with…" He said, moving to a drawer in his filing cabinet, retrieving a small box. I looked at him, waiting for him to say something, as I couldn't quite find my tongue right now, He'd never acknowledged the things I'd done right, this was a first.

"I want you to have this.." He handed me the box, and I opened it. "It was your grandmother's, I received after she died. Do with it what you will, but I'm hoping you understand what I mean by giving this to you.." He said, as I glanced down at the ring.

Silver, simple, plain, aged, but somehow intricate and new. I looked back at him, not quite processing what he'd said. He could tell that I hadn't been paying as close of attention as he'd liked, and he sat back in his chair.

"Marry her." He said, and I looked back at him, shocked for the second time today, as I stood from the chair and he returned to his paper work. I reached the door and turned back to him.

"Thank you, Dad." I said, and he nodded.

"You're welcome, Son." I left the room, and joined my mother in the kitchen once more.

**Bella's POV**

I woke up about an hour later, an instant nausea causing me to go straight into the bathroom. I heard someone enter the room as I was vomiting, and I saw Tanya in the bathroom doorway as I sat against the bathtub. Tanya and I had never really had the chance to talk. I looked up at her, confused, and irritated that I'd been sick every day we'd been here.

"Bella…" She said, a strange look in her eye. "Is there any chance that you're…?" She didn't have to say it, I instantly stood up, moving to my bag, and finding my pocket calendar. As it sunk in, I put it back in my bag, and sat defeated on the edge on the bed.

"I'll be back…" Tanya said, leaving the room, I went after her.

"Tanya, please, don't say anything.." I pleaded, and she smiled.

"Bella, I wouldn't dare. You don't even know yet, I'm going to change that, now just go sit down." She said, and I nodded. She returned a minute later with a small box. She could tell I was scared to death. She sat next to me on the bed, and patted my back.

"Bella, if anyone knows a thing or two about this sort of thing, and being scared to death about it, it's me. Just get it over with, that way if you're not, then you can enjoy the rest of your time here. And if you are, we can congratulate you." She said, handing me the box, I went into the bathroom, dreading this entire exchange. I paced back and forth in the bathroom as I waited, Tanya peeked her head in the door.

"Check it." She said, and I stood there, terrified. I moved to the sink, and there it was. A little pink plus sign. I looked in the mirror, unsure of whether I should cry right now, or smile. This had been what I wanted, I wanted this. _More than anything._ I remembered saying.

So what was gnawing at me? Edward and I had come too far in this relationship, and if this wasn't something he was prepared for, I couldn't make him be ready for it. Tanya couldn't read my expression, and she moved to the sink, reading it for herself. She smiled.

"Holy crap!" She smiled, laughing as she pulled me in for a hug. "Congratulations!" She chimed, and that's when I realized I couldn't bring myself to be unhappy about this. Even if he wasn't ready. I was, and there wasn't time for doubt, it was here, and I loved it, I couldn't find it in my heart to despise it, even if I had to do this on my own. I smiled, and hugged Tanya back. We headed downstairs, and halfway down the staircase, Edward appeared from the kitchen, about to go upstairs, we met on the staircase, and he pulled me in for a kiss.

"Did you have a nice nap?" He asked, and I nodded, growing nervous. He could tell I was hiding something, and he smiled when he saw the happiness in my eyes.

"What is it?" He asked, taking my hands. I saw Tanya go into the kitchen, smiling.

"I have something…Important…to tell you." I stressed the word important, and we finished going down the stairs, his expression grew serious.

"Funny you say that…I have something important to _ask_ you…" He said, and I smiled.

"Edward…" I started, looking down. "I'm pregnant." I let it out, and he looked as though he'd just been hit with the curveball of the century. But he smiled, And it surprised me, that he was at all excited about the news.

"Pregnant?" He asked, and I nodded, his smile grew wider, and he pulled me in for a kiss. I felt a tear slip out as he spun me around, kissing me repeatedly, both of us smiling and laughing the entire time. We stood still, and he pulled away, Esme and Tanya had joined us in the foyer, watching as we both grew more excited about it.

"This is fantastic.." He smiled, pulling away from yet another kiss, and placing another on my forehead. I smiled, and we turned to Esme, who looked confused.

"What's going on?" She asked, smiling at the sight of us. Edward looked at me, and then back at Esme, and I smiled.

"We're having a baby.." Edward said, and Esme smiled also, pulling me in for a hug.

"Congratulations…" She said, holding me tight. Even she looked excited about this.

"This is wonderful…" She smiled, and I felt another tear slip out. As she pulled away from me, I moved toward her, pulling her in for another hug.

"Thank you…" I mumbled, almost inaudible. "For being supportive.." I pulled away, smiling and she placed a kiss on my cheek, brushing hair from my face.

"No, Thank you." She said, and I knew what she meant. I smiled, and she went back into the kitchen. By the time dinner rolled around, I'd had all the excitement I could handle for one day, and it seemed as though everything had grown closer together, instead of further apart like I had expected. At dinner, Edward made the announcement, and even Carlisle congratulated us, then Edward and him exchanged a look, leaving me confused. Edward cleared his throat, and sat back down in his chair. We finished the meal, and everyone headed into the den, Edward sat me down in a single chair, and I looked at him with a strange expression. He kneeled in front of me, and pulled me toward him. The rest of his family watched intently, all seeming to be strangely aware of what was happening, where I was clueless.

"Earlier I said I had a question to ask you…" He smiled, and I nodded. He reached inside his pocket, retrieving a box, and I instantly knew what was happening.

"Isabella." He started, and I felt a tear slip out. "You've been the absolute _best _girlfriend, friend, companion, and partner any man could ask for…" He said, and I smiled, more tears falling. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you…" He smiled, holding my chin, causing our eyes to meet. I let out a chuckle as another tear fell. "Marry me.." He finished. And I nodded, both of us standing at the same time, he pulled me in for a kiss, and I hid my face from the rest of his family, trying to get the tears to stop falling, I buried my face in his chest, and he laughed, holding me there for a moment. I looked up at him, and he pulled me in for a kiss.

"I love you.." I said, hiding my face again.

"I love you back…" He said, smiling and pushing me away from his chest, causing me to look at him. "but you're forgetting something…" He smiled, removing the ring from the box, and placing it on my finger. I looked at it, it's age apparent, but timeless none-the-less. I smiled, and pulled him in for a kiss again.

"It was my grandmother's." He said, and I realized how important this was to him, to his entire family…and I looked at his family for the first time since I'd said yes. Esme sat on the couch next to Carlisle, a tear falling, she stood from the couch, and pulled me in for a hug.

"Welcome to the family…" She sniffled, wiping her eyes.

"Thank you." I smiled gently, hugging her back. We all sat on the couch, watching a movie. Edward and I moved upstairs to go to bed at around ten o'clock, and I fell asleep in his arms, content.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: I know I forgot to post songs last time...not sure if it matters. lol. Let me know if you're listening to the songs or not, (: but either way here they are for this chapter._**

**Songs:**

"The Cave" - Mumford and Sons (plays while they're on the way to Port Angeles)

"No One to Let you Down" - The Head and The Heart (plays while Edward and Carlisle are speaking in his office)

"Lost in my mind" - The Head and the Heart (plays when Edward finds out Bella is pregnant)

"Rivers and roads" - The Head and the Heart (plays when Edward proposes, throughout the rest of the chapter)


	9. The Meaning, The Truth

"**Come Love, See My Hands"**

**Chapter Nine**

"**The Meaning, the Truth"**

**Bella's POV**

I woke in the morning curled up against his chest, and as I remembered the events of yesterday, I couldn't help but smile. He kissed my forehead, seeing that I was awake, I smiled at him.

"Good Morning." He said, kissing me. I moved to lay on my back, and I looked up at the ceiling. Edward moved toward me, and he placed his hand over my stomach.

"Good Morning to you, too." He spoke to the baby, and I smiled. Pulling him in for a kiss. I sat up against the headboard, and he joined me.

"How do you think Alice is going to take this?" I said, instantly feeling like I had to protect her feelings. I knew how badly she'd been wanting a baby, for the past year and a half. And I didn't want our engagement to take away from her wedding. I looked down at my stomach.

"I don't know, but we can only hope she's happy for us…." He said, giving me a reassuring glance. I nodded.

We showered, and went downstairs, joining everyone at the breakfast table.

"Good morning," We heard Esme greet us. "Sleep well?" She asked, and we both nodded.

We ate breakfast, and then Edward and I headed upstairs.

We had to leave tomorrow.

So we both started packing our bags, as I began dreading the goodbye once again. I sat on the edge of the bed, and he joined me, taking my hand in his as he sat down.

"It'll be alright, we'll come back.." He said, pulling me in for a kiss. "It's not like we're never coming back…" He said, his eyes locking mine.

"I know, I just don't want to leave, especially now." I paused. "We're having a baby…and we're getting married…every time we come here something wonderful happens, and it makes me never want to leave." I said. He nodded, a smile on his lips, he kissed me.

"We'll be back." He reassured me, and I smiled, resting my head on his shoulder. There was a silence, and I didn't stop smiling as we sat there, when he noticed, he smiled also, causing me to look up at him.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Nothing, It's just… sort of ironic." I shook my head, and his brow furrowed. "The last time we were here, on our last night I was upset about not having my baby…and now we're having one….and it's just…ironic." I said, and he kissed me again.

"It's not just ironic." He said. "It's wonderful." He kissed my forehead, and I smiled.

"Are you sure that-…" I trailed, almost regretting beginning my question. "Are you sure that you're ready for this…" I moved to sit up straight, and I looked at him. "I know that I am….but it's just that you just closed on the restaurant space, and you need to be focusing on that…and I don't want you to feel like you have to sacrifice it for me…" I explained, looking away from him, he pulled me to him.

"Bella…" He started, shaking his head. "I've never been more sure of anything, where you see yourself inconveniencing me, I see everything falling into place. Right where it needs to be. We should be happy, we just got a restaurant space, and a house, and we're having a baby. And I love you. We'll make it work. Don't worry about it, I'm going to take good care of you…" He said, pulling me in for a kiss, I smiled in the middle of it.

* * *

><p>Later, we headed downstairs again, sitting in the den with everyone, enjoying each other's company. By the time dinner rolled around, I could feel the universe shifting into place. Everything locking right where it needed to be, and I knew he'd meant what he'd said earlier.<p>

We should be happy.

We all went to bed early, and I fell asleep next to the man I was facing the rest of my life with.

The person I _wanted_ to spend the rest of my life with.

No questions asked, everything was settled.

We woke in the morning, and made an effort to keep everything together as we said goodbye - knowing it would be a long while before we saw them again.

The drive back to Seattle was quiet, and relaxing, and when Edward took a different exit, my stomach instantly dropped.

"Edward, not today…I don't think I can take her getting upset over this." I said, as we neared Alice and Jasper's house.

"She won't be upset, she'll be happy for us, I promise. Wouldn't you rather we told her now, instead of waiting…" He said, and I pouted, realizing I wasn't going to reign him in on this one.

"Fine. But, you're doing the talking…" I said, and he chuckled.

Alice and Jasper were sitting on the front porch swing when we pulled up, they disengaged themselves from each other and met us at the car, greeting us with hugs.

"Hey," We had all seemed to chime in at the same time. And I could tell by the look on her face that Alice was expecting some news, like she knew something was up. I smiled, trying to hide the ring on my finger…just to keep the suspense.

We moved inside, and we all sat down in the kitchen.

"What's going on? You two seem different….really different." Alice said, her eyebrow raising as she moved to sit next to me. I didn't smile, because I was truly afraid of Alice being upset. I had no intentions of hurting her. None.

"Well, we have a couple of things to announce." He started, and I felt my stomach drop again. I looked at him, and his eyes grew gentle, reassuring.

"Well, go ahead." Alice said, not getting excited so much as growing irritated. Which wasn't like her, I was afraid we'd caught her at a bad time.

"Uh.." He began, also realizing that Alice seemed to be a bit on edge. "We're having a baby…..and I asked Bella to marry me…" He said, Jasper stood to congratulate us with a smile on his face, he went to shake Edward's hand supportively, but I instantly grew concerned when Alice moved from the seat next to me, and moved to the back of the house, to a room that I knew to be an office. I instantly went after her, throwing a look towards Edward as I went. I opened the door, knocking twice.

"Alice…" I said entering the room. Which no longer seemed to be an office. There was a fresh coat of yellow paint on the walls, a baby crib, and a changing table in it now. Pictures plastered all over the room and a large rocking chair in the corner. I instantly regretted coming here.

"I'm sorry." I started, and I sat next to her on the floor. "I knew we shouldn't have told you yet…I told him not to. I didn't want to upset you…I know how long you've wanted a baby." I said, and when she looked at me with tears in her eyes, I knew things were serious. Alice never cried, it wasn't in her nature, she was always the optimist. I heard her sniffle, and she wiped away a tear.

"Bella…" She started, sniffling again. "Jasper and I went to the doctor today…because we've been trying to have a baby…" She sniffled again, and I knew the news was going to be bad. "The doctor said that…" Her tears grew more prominent, and I pulled her into my arms. "I can't have a baby…" She was altogether sobbing now, and I felt my heart ache for her.

"He said that if I were to conceive, odds are I would either miscarry, or delivery would be fatal…for both of us." She continued crying.

"Alice…" I paused, trying to get her to look at me. "I'm so sorry…" I shook my head, devastated for her. "That happens sometimes…" I couldn't find any words that would comfort her…because I was sure that there weren't any.

"But why to me, Bella. Why did it have to happen to me…you don't realize how bad I want to be a mother…how badly I want to experience it all…." She still sobbed. And I looked down at the floor.

"I think I might understand, actually…." I murmured, barely audible.

"Bella, I really don't think that you do. You _killed_ your baby. I could never do that…" She snapped, and the words hit me like a ton of bricks, the look on her face instantly showed how sorry she was for saying it, but I stood, tears falling already.

I deserved that , I deserved for her to look down on me for what I'd done. When I entered the kitchen Edward's eyes instantly caught mine and he was at my side in an instant.

"What's wrong? What happened?" He said, holding me to him. I heard Alice's voice behind us as I went for the door, pulling away from his embrace.

"Bella, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry…" She was shouting after me, and I ignored it, we reached the car, and Edward started the engine. I felt my tears continue. And he held my hand in his as we drove.

"What happened?" He said, gently. I shook my head.

"We shouldn't have gone…" I still cried, and then I realized that maybe I'd made him feel bad.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad by saying that….." I trailed and he just looked at me, remorse in his eyes. But I could tell I was forgiven. We were at my apartment then, and I carried my luggage into my apartment, Edward in front of me, holding the doors open.

* * *

><p>We reached the apartment, and when I got inside, he instantly pulled me to his chest, sorry for what had happened.<p>

"I'm sorry." I heard him say, and I shook my head.

"It's not your fault.." I replied, kissing his chest.

"Did she say something..?" He asked, pulling me into his lap as we sat on the couch. I shook my head, my tears slowing.

"I deserved what she said. It doesn't matter." I wiped my tears away, he looked at me, almost hurt that I felt like I'd deserved what she'd said.

"Bella…," He held my chin, causing me to look at him. "I'm absolutely sure that you didn't deserve it." He said, kissing me. "Though I'm sure that if you told me what she said, then my consoling would be of better use…" He coaxed, giving me that look, that look he gave me every time I wasn't up for something, that look that said _'you can trust me, stop being stubborn.' _I looked down, sniffling. I gave in, and explained what had happened to him, feeling defeated.

"Bella." He shook his head, and took my hands in his. "I'm sure she didn't mean it….Alice rarely says things like that…and when she does, you know that she regrets it." He defended her, and I agreed with him. He was right, I knew she hadn't meant it.

"I know…but she's right." I looked down, watching as his fingers traced circles on my palms. "I don't deserve this baby after what I did….Just like I don't deserve to have someone as wonderful as you in my life…" I looked up at him, truth in my eyes, and sorrow in his when he realized that I truly felt this way.

He pulled me toward him, and I rested my head on his shoulder, hiding my face, for fear that he would grow angry about what I'd just said.

"Bella…You deserve this baby every bit as much as Alice or anybody else does." He said, backing away from me so that I had no choice but to look at him. "And who's to say _I'm_ not the one who doesn't deserve _you_…" He said, pulling me in for a kiss, and I felt a little better. Like we were on the same page.

That was the first time I realized how perfect everything was…

Even if Alice was angry with me…I knew she needed time.

Even with the added worry of us bringing a child into this with us.

Even knowing that money would probably be tight for a long while, at least until the restaurant was in business.

I couldn't have thought of any other place I'd rather be, or any other person I'd rather be with.

For now, it was just Edward and our baby…and we had to enjoy it while we could.

Whether people tried to knock us down or not.

I didn't really remember falling asleep, but waking up next to Edward in my bed couldn't have been anymore wonderful, he was still asleep when my eyes adjusted to the light. And I smiled, loving that we had time to ourselves, loving that nothing could screw this up for us. Even if it was all too soon. It didn't matter, was it necessary to waste time if I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him?

I didn't think so.

* * *

><p>When his eyes started to open, I smiled at him, and when they opened completely he smiled back at me.<p>

"Good morning, soon-to-be Mrs. Cullen." He said, pulling me in for a kiss. I smiled.

We got a call from Angela at about two in the afternoon, after having spent most of the day sitting in the living room watching television and eating cereal. She said that the owner of the restaurant wanted to get in contact with us as soon as possible, and we made an appointment for tomorrow.

I'd almost expected Alice to call, but she never did.

I figured I'd give her some time. I knew she was upset and I knew I was the last person on Earth she could probably handle taking advice from right now.

We didn't bother leaving the apartment, and soon enough we'd fallen asleep on the couch, underneath the comforter from my bed.

The next morning, we woke early enough to shower and eat breakfast before we went to meet the owner of the restaurant space. We met on site, and spent most of the time discussing possibilities, and the owner explained to us how important the building had been to him, and how important it was that he sold it to someone he knew would take good care of it.

By the end of the visit, Edward and I were both feeling pretty good about it, and Angela called a few hours after we got back to my place.

"It's yours…" Were the first words out of her mouth, and we scheduled an inspection for the building, to make sure everything was in good condition to start renovating the restaurant space, and start moving our things into the attached apartment.

* * *

><p>"I think we should wait to move our things in…until after we get the restaurant finished…" Edward mentioned, I was curled up against his chest and we were laying in my bed. I looked at him with a strange expression on my face.<p>

"Do you really think you should be around all of the stress in your condition?" He said, referring to the pregnancy, and placing a kiss on my forehead.

At the reminder of the baby, I called my doctor, to schedule an appointment to see how far along I was. The appointment was for Wednesday, two days from now.

Those next two days flew by quick, and we'd gotten the okay from the inspector to begin the work on the restaurant - most of it in the kitchen- and they would start on it after the first of the year.

* * *

><p>And then we were sitting in the doctor's office, after my examination, waiting for the doctor to return.<p>

"Well, congratulations." He said, opening the door and entering with some paperwork. He sat in his chair behind his desk, directly across from us. "You're four weeks along.." He announced, and neither of us could help but smile. His expression grew serious. And I looked back at him, worried.

"There's one thing I'm a bit concerned about, though." He said, flipping through his papers. We looked back at him.

"Miss Swan, these records are correct right? You had an abortion about five months ago?" He asked, making sure. I looked down.

"Uh, yes. They're correct." I replied, trying to avoid looking at Edward, who had just reached over to take my hand.

"Well, typically, women don't follow through with a pregnancy so soon after having had an abortion…and it's possible that the pregnancy terminates itself. Usually women wait a year or more before they have the chance to get pregnant, and actually end up keeping the baby…I'm going to need to see you once every two weeks, just to check on things. Make sure the baby is doing alright." He said, and I hadn't thought of the consequences. I hadn't taken the chance to think about the abortion affecting this pregnancy.

"The heartbeat is strong as of right now. But it's still early. I'll need to keep track of things at least for the first few months, until your into your second trimester…" He explained, and I nodded, looking back at him.

"I understand…" I'd managed to get the words out, and I knew Edward was upset.

We left soon after that, and I waited until we were back at his apartment to say anything.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry…" Was the first thing that left my mouth, and he looked back at me, and led me to sit next to him on the couch, where he pulled me into his lap. "This is my fault…" I murmured.<p>

"It's alright, Bella, our baby is going to be okay. Don't think about it…you'll only stress yourself out." He kissed my cheek, and brushed my hair back.

"If I hadn't gotten that abortion….if I just would have done the _right thing_…." I said, shaking my head as tears threatened me. He went to say something, but I didn't give him the chance.

"Alice and I would be speaking right now…..and our baby wouldn't be in any danger….if I'd just done what I was supposed to do…" A tear spilled over, and he wiped it away immediately. I sniffled.

"Bella, we can't change what happened. And if you'd done what you were supposed to, need I remind you, that would not be _my_ baby in there…" He said, pointing to my stomach. And I understood what he was saying, I leant my forehead against his, my eyes apologetic.

The rest of the week went by quick, and in between shopping for furniture, and looking through catalogs to help Edward find furniture for the restaurant, everything was moving in a blur, much quicker than I could have expected, and then it had been two weeks, with still no word from Alice. And another appointment to attend.

* * *

><p>"Well, you're doing well." The doctor said, entering the office. "No signs of anything going wrong just yet. You've made it well into the first month…almost through the second…if something were to go wrong, I'm sure it would have happened by now…but just to be safe, I'd like to see you again next month, instead of in two weeks. I think you should be fine until then." He smiled at us, and we left, glad to hear that the baby was doing well enough that I didn't need to come back in another two weeks. We went out to lunch afterwards, and then stopped by the restaurant to speak to the renovators.<p>

We got out of the car, and entered the building.

Once we reached the inside, everything was complete and utter disorganization. Most of the noise was coming from the kitchen, where Edward went to first, and was greeted.

"Hey, boss." I heard one of the workers say to him, as I walked about the rest of the space, entering the private room and seeing a couple of workers painting the walls. I felt Edward come up behind me, pulling me away from where I stood. I turned around, smiling. And when it wasn't Edward's face that I saw, I almost felt my blood curdle. There was Mike, that sick, twisted smile on his face.

He must have seen us come in here. Edward was still in the kitchen.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, trying not to sound angry, but still not a trace of enthusiasm in my voice.

"I came to talk to you…I hear that you're pregnant, and getting married?" He asked, a look in his eye I'd seen plenty of times before.

"Mike, that's none of your business…Leave." I said, planting my feet in one place.

"You couldn't have it with me….so you went on to the next idiot willing to be sucked in, didn't you?" He said, his voice raising. I heard Edward say goodbye to the workers and I knew he'd be here in a second.

"I have to say, I'm a little proud of you….having the guts to do something as sneaky and selfish as this…it's like we're finally on the same page….and it's kind of starting to reel me back in." He said, his eyes growing dark as he moved toward me, and I backed away.

"Stop, Mike. I want you to leave.. Now." I said, and he pulled on my hand, jerking me toward him placing an invasive kiss on my cheek with all too much force. I pushed him away.

The entire exchange brought upon me an immense amount of hysteria, he'd been like this before. And I wouldn't deny that he'd left his share of bruises, and angry slaps across the face, on me. This was familiar.

"Mike, stop! That's enough, I want you out." I said, my voice growing louder. Edward entered the room then, and He stood at the entry way, a look in his eye I'd also never seen before, anger. Mike saw me make eye contact with him, and he turned around, laughing in his direction.

"This is the guy?" He snarled, and I looked down. "He's pathetic, Bella. Are you joking me? How is _he_ going to be able to keep you and your baby financially stable? At least I have money…" He said, and Edward locked eyes with me.

"Mike, that isn't even _your_ money, It's your father's." Then Edward stood up straight and moved to Mike, gripping his arm tight.

"Leave. Now." He said, his eyes full of anger, I'd never seen him angry. Never.

"Don't touch me." Mike shouted, and when I saw his fist raise, I instantly flinched away, I heard the contact occur, and then I saw Edward, blood on his lip as he pulled Mike toward him, the same amount of anger in his eyes as he went to punch him back, but didn't.

"No. You're not worth it." He shook his head, releasing Mike's shirt. "Get out." He said, and Mike backed away, towards the door, then he looked at me.

"He'll never be able to provide for you, Bella. He's a waste." He said, not turning to leave just yet, I walked toward him, my arms crossed over my chest. I couldn't say anything, I just stood there with a painfully angry look on my face, and he backed out of the door. I was at Edward in a second, apologizing repeatedly, and looking at his lip.

"I'm so, so sorry." I shook my head, holding his face. "You're bleeding…" I said, my eyes growing more apologetic.

"Are you alright?" He breathed, not much concerned with his own injuries.

"I will be, but you, you need a wet rag, and a cold compress. Pronto." I said, pulling him outside, and taking his keys. I drove us back to my place, and he followed me inside. I ignored his objections, saying that he was fine every five seconds, as I grabbed a rag from the bathroom.

"Go sit down." I ordered, and he complied. I ran the rag under the faucet in the kitchen, and grabbed an ice pack from the freezer, wrapping it in a dry washcloth. I dabbed his lip with the wet rag, and sat next to him at the table, tending to him.

"I can't believe that he punched you…." I said, shaking my head, and switching the wet rag for the cold compress now, and he held it himself.

"I can't believe he followed us inside…" He said.

"I'm sorry, truly. I don't think that I can stress that enough. This _was_ my fault, so don't try to talk me out of it." I said, taking his hand in mine, and placing a kiss on his forehead.

"I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner. What happened? What did he do to you?" He asked, concerned, I shrugged.

"It doesn't matter. He's left enough scars on me that it doesn't even hurt anymore, it's just another day…" I paused, ignoring that glint of concern in Edward's eye as I continued to look at his lip.

"And I don't want him…. I'm much happier with you. It's not going to get any better than you." I said, my words truthful, and straight to the point. He pulled me in for a kiss, and I wrapped my arms around him, resting my head on his shoulder. A few hours later, we were on my bed, and I could tell he was trying not to say something, it had been all too quiet since we got back from the restaurant.

* * *

><p>"Something's wrong…" I said, it wasn't a question. I sat up and faced him, demanding his attention. Edward leant toward me, more concern on his face than on mine, and he brought his hand to my cheek, and pulled me next to him.<p>

"He's hit you….hasn't he?" He asked, worry in his eyes, as though it were important that he knew. I looked away, and moved his hand from my face, holding it in between mine. I didn't want to answer that….

"Bella…" He pleaded, his eyes burning into mine as I made eye contact with him.

"A few times….it's not important. It's over. I know that there are better people than that in the world…"

"It _is _important.." He said, full of remorse, as he kissed my forehead. "You're much stronger and independent than I give you credit for, aren't you?…" He whispered, almost inaudible. He meant it as a compliment. His eyes were still filled with sorrow when I glanced at him a few moments later.

"Hey, don't be sad. I'm not in love with him, I'm in love with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with _you._" I paused, moving so that I was sitting right in front of him, perched on my knees eye level with him now. He didn't say anything, which gave me the chance to say what I wanted to. I looked at him from underneath my eyelashes, and I could tell when he gave in, and he allowed the conversation to grow light, and playful.

"Do you want to know _why_ I love you?" I asked him, and he leaned toward me, a smile on his lips.

"Tell me…" He breathed, but before I could speak, his lips were on mine, and my back was against the mattress below us. I pushed him back, returning us to our original place on the bed. He looked dejected for a moment, and I smiled back at him. I straddled him, causing him to be the one pinned against the mattress this time. I smiled when I saw the shocked look in his eye.

"I love you because you're everything he's not…." I started, placing a kiss on his cheek, then pulling back to make eye contact with him, I spoke again. "You're sweet…" I kissed his jaw line. "You never raise your voice at me…." I whispered, pushing the memory of the fight we'd had before we left for Port Angeles a few weeks ago to the back of my mind, rendering it unimportant. "You're kind…." I kissed his neck, his eyes were closed.

"You're gentle…." I whispered, bringing my lips to his, which brought him back to reality, he responded quickly, and when the kiss ended, I looked back at him, more truth in my eyes than there had been before.

"You're perfect…" I finalized, and he brought his lips to mine. I moved from my place on top of him, and lay next to him in the bed. Where he brought me next to him, and kissed my forehead, just before either of us drifted to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Songs:<strong>

"Requiem on Water" - Imperial Mammoth (plays on the way back from Port Angeles, when they stop at Alice and Jasper's)

"Lost In my Mind" - The Head and the Heart (Playing while Edward and Bella are adjusting to Seattle again, during the doctors appointment, meeting with the realtor, etc.)

"Lovers Eyes" - Mumford and Sons (starts when they get to the restaurant, plays as Bella is walking around the restaurant, admiring.)

"Little Lion Man" - Mumford and Sons (chorus plays when Mike shows up and they get into a fight.)

"Keep Me Warm" - Ida Maria (plays when Edward and Bella get back from the restaurant, right after the fight with Mike)


	10. Final Adjustments

**Come Love, See my Hands**

**Chapter 10**

"**Final Adjustments"**

**Bella's POV**

Two months had passed.

The baby had grown to a visible size.

Alice and I had made up a few weeks ago, soon after I'd gone to visit Charlie in Forks, who was slowly beginning to smile again, knowing that I'd found someone to take care of me, and knowing I was happy with my life in Seattle. He still hadn't moved one item of my mother's, and a part of me hated seeing him like that…almost as though he expected her to come walking through that door someday soon.

I'd been back in Seattle for about a month now, finishing up last-minute wedding details with Alice, who had changed the date to early late September, instead of the third of March. She had murmured something about the weather while explaining this to me. I hadn't quite recollected it.

Edward's renovations were coming to a close, and he was starting to move furniture and decorations into the restaurant space.

I'd been having a wonderful time at my job at the daycare, watching and helping other people's children develop skills, and hoping that I'd do just as good of a job once my baby was here.

The girls I worked with were swooning and chirping about my pregnancy left and right, and I'd become close friends with each and every one of them.

Edward was growing increasingly impatient with my pregnancy, already excited to hold his child, to see his baby in his arms. The entire incubation process was driving him up the wall.

Both of us were relieved to have made it into my second trimester, to be rid of the monthly visits with my doctor, and to be reassured that the pregnancy would proceed.

Things were going much more quickly than I had expected them too.

Edward grew impatient with waiting until the restaurant was finished to move our things in, and we set aside time this weekend for packing boxes, and throwing out anything that wasn't of substantial value.

And now I sat in Alice's coffee shop, sipping on a glass of ice tea, across from Edward who had a wide smile on his face, I smiled back.

"Are you as ecstatic as I am, Miss Swan?" He asked, his eyebrow arching as he did so. I chuckled.

"Are you doubting my happiness?" I retorted, he chuckled also. We finished up our drinks and left the Café, hand in hand as we walked through the park across the street. He grew quiet, and I glanced at him repeatedly, assessing his expressions as each time they grew a smidge more solemn. I pulled him to a bench as we neared it.

I turned toward him as we sat.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I touched the side of his face, and his head turned toward me.

"It's nothing…" He shrugged.

"Edward…." I challenged him, an eyebrow raising.

"I feel like something bad might happen….I feel like I'm losing you…" His words came in a hushed tone, and I turned away from him, leaning my back against the bench, defeated.

"Where do you think I'm going to go? I don't necessarily have a back up plan here….you're it. I'm not going anywhere…" I replied, and he shrugged.

"It's just a feeling…" He whispered again.

"Well, it's a bad one. Stop having it…" I said sarcastically, and he let out a smile. "Listen." I turned toward him, causing him to face me.

"Nothing is going to happen. I'm not going anywhere, the baby isn't going anywhere, and you better not be going anywhere. We all need each other right now, and we're all we have. And the last thing any of us need is to be worrying about something taking any of it away." He nodded, and pulled me in for a kiss.

"I know, I'm sorry." He breathed.

"Don't apologize…just promise me you'll stop worrying. I don't want you to worry, it makes me worry." I placed a kiss on his lips, and then rested my head on his shoulder.

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

We had slowly moved everything into our new home, and purchased new living room and nursery furniture. Everything was finished, and Edward's restaurant was weeks away from its grand opening. Curtains were hung, tables were set, paint was dried, and food was soon to be delivered for the restaurant.

The weather had grown much more tolerable, and the May breeze was blowing about on a regular basis, the rain was unavoidable and a regular nuisance.

Alice and Jasper were coming over tonight to see the new place for the first time.

"Hey there…" I felt a set of arms wrap around my waist as I stood at the bathroom mirror drying my hair with a towel, I smiled and turned to face Edward, who kissed me longingly.

"Hey yourself." I replied, kissing him again. Edward crouched in front of me, eye level with my stomach.

"Hey to you, too." He smiled, placing a kiss on my stomach. I felt the baby kick my side.

"She's kicking…" I smiled, placing my hand over my tummy. We'd learned the sex of the baby about a month ago, and had taken it upon ourselves to buy only items that were pink in color for her room. Edward stood to meet me again, and kissed me once more.

"I missed you…" He said, another kiss.

"I missed you, too…" I said, resting my head on his neck. He'd been gone for a few days, picking up some last minute items for the restaurant in Toronto.

"How was it?" I asked pulling away from him.

"It was fine.." He paused, "It would have been better if you'd come with me.." He said.

"Sorry, I had to work. Besides, air-travel may have upset the baby. I hardly like driving back and forth in town… this whole thing makes me nervous…" I replied, glancing at the granite in the countertop. He wrapped his arms around me again.

"I know, sweetheart…it makes me nervous too." He said, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Have you heard from Alice and Jasper yet?" He asked me.

"Yeah, they'll be over at eight." I turned to face him, and kissed him before leaving the room.

**Alice's POV**

"Jasper…." I said his name with enough urgency that I knew he would be next to me in seconds.

"What is it?" He asked, his expression changing when he saw what I held in my hand. He lowered his head.

"Honey, I thought that we agreed to stop doing this to ourselves…." He took the small piece of plastic from my hand and sat it on the counter, taking my hands in his as he did so. He placed a kiss on my forehead.

"We've got to stop worrying about it so much. You know what the doctor said…" He trailed, I was still in shock, too surprised to say anything.

"Look at it…." I said lightly, a smile touching my lips. He obeyed, picking it up off of the counter, and comparing the result to the box that sat next to it. I could tell he was surprised when both items dropped from his hands, and his lips were on mine. We both chuckled.

"We're having a baby…" He smiled, kissing me again. I nodded.

"Yeah, we're having a baby…" I replied, a small tear falling as he wrapped me in his arms.

**Bella's POV**

Alice and Jasper would be over soon, we had snacks on our coffee table, and I was sliding a dress on over my pregnant belly. I smiled as I glanced in the mirror, realizing how much the baby had grown. Edward walked in, and leant against the doorway.

"I love you…" He greeted me. I smiled, and met him in the doorway. "I felt like I needed to say it again.." He smiled.

"I love you, too…" I kissed him, and we both went into the living room, sitting on the couch while we waited for Jasper and Alice. Edward got a phone call a few minutes later, and headed to the back entrance of the apartment, unlocking the door and revealing our friends.

"Hey." I smiled greeting Alice with a hug. She looked happy, something I hadn't seen in a while. We showed them the rest of the house, and I was taken aback when Alice didn't get upset when we showed them the nursery. She looked happy for us.

We all moved into the living room again, and Edward went into the kitchen, checking on dinner.

"Drinks?" He asked Jasper and Alice, failing to make eye contact with me when he asked, for obvious reasons.

"Not for me…" Alice declined, still smiling. This, too, had me confused, Alice had never had a problem getting a drink or two in when the opportunity presented itself. Edward looked surprised by this too.

"Jasper then?" Jasper nodded, and went into the kitchen with Edward, they joined us again within thirty seconds.

"Alice…" Jasper said, giving her a look. "Don't you have something to say.." He smirked.

"_We _have something to say…" She smiled, looking at Edward and I.

"I'm pregnant…" She let it out…and I couldn't contain my excitement, I was hugging her instantly, and congratulating her repeatedly.

If anyone deserved to have a baby, it was Alice and Jasper.

They were seemingly the best possible parents I could ever imagine.

We ate dinner at the dining table we had moved in from Edward's old apartment. And we were so at ease here, each one of us happy in our own ways. But, happy together, nonetheless. We were all starting our lives together. And there wasn't a better feeling in the entire world. What more can one ask for other than friends, family, love, and stability? There was nothing more to be given.

We finished dessert, and Alice and Jasper were putting on their coats about to head out the door when I heard the phone ring. I went to answer it quickly.

"Hello?" I said.

"Bella…something's happened." The voice was familiar. Jacob Black, a childhood friend from Forks.

"What do you mean, something's happened?" I asked, my voice growing solemn. I watched as all three of the people standing near the door gradually moved back inside, listening to my conversation.

"It's your father….He's dead…" I felt a pang in my side, and lost my breath immediately.

"You're sure?"

"We're all sure…I'm so sorry, Bella."

"Tell everyone I'll be there in a couple of days…I'll start making arrangements from here, I'll be there in time for the funeral." I hung up the phone. And It was Edward who caught me as I fell to the floor, tears streaming down my face already. Alice and Jasper were on either side of me, concerned on their faces.

"What is it, Bella?" Edward's voice was the first one I responded to.

"My father's dead…" I sobbed. I felt him help me from the floor, and he helped me to the bedroom as I sobbed into his chest. He laid out some sweat pants and a tank top for me to change into, and kissed my forehead.

"Change into something comfortable, I'll be right back, alright, love?" He said, and I nodded, wiping tears from my cheeks.

I heard him go back into the living room where Alice and Jasper stood.

"I'll call you…" He said to them, before the walked out the door.

**Song:**

"Suggestions" by Orelia (plays when bella answers the phone)

A/N.: Sorry for the long wait, not sure when I'll be able to write again. I've been pretty busy. I graduate in about 7 weeks, so I should have more time then.


	11. Moving Backwards

**Come Love, See My Hands**

**Chapter 11**

"**Moving Backwards"**

**Bella's POV**

I ignored Edward's questions as I packed a suitcase. I had just received the information last night, and I remembered crying the entire night. For some reason I wasn't tired, and I woke this morning in overdrive. I called work to let them know I would be gone for the rest of the week, and from there I had called the funeral home in Forks, making as many arrangements as I could before I got there. The flowers were ordered, and there were only a few last minute arrangements to make.

"Bella…" His hand reached mine, snapping me out of it. "I have to do this alone….I'm sorry." It was the only thing I'd said to him since. I hated leaving like this. I hated to alienate him, but this was just one of those things. I felt terrible, knowing that Edward had never met my father. I'd met his entire family.

The funny thing was I'd rather Edward never met my father, than have him meet him while he's lying in a coffin cold and lifeless. That wasn't anything close to the person my father is, or was. It wasn't how I wanted anyone to remember him.

I walked out of the door, with nothing but that to leave him with. I put my suitcase in the back of my car, and I was on my way.

**One Week Later**

I pulled up in our driveway, tears and hugs from old friends behind me.

I would do my best to go about pretending as though what happened before I left, hadn't.

I would try not to bring him down with me.

I didn't want sympathy, I'd had enough of that over the past few days.

I wanted everyone to forget about it, honestly. As cold as it seemed.

The sooner I stopped hearing about it, the quicker I could come to terms with it.

I was much too composed, and it almost frightened me.

It was as though I'd pushed the entire thought from my mind.

And at times it felt like maybe I didn't care.

Which was worse.

I walked up the stairs, and turned my key in the door, which opened quickly to reveal Edward sitting on the couch, waiting for me.

He was at my side in an instant, taking my suitcase from where I sat it on the floor, and a flower arrangement from my hand.

I knew he was going to start soon. And I dreaded asking him not to speak of it.

I felt as though every emotion I felt balanced on the tip of a pointed rock.

One gentle breeze and they would sway one way or the other.

I stood there, listening as the sound of his footsteps went down the hallway and then came back again. He stood there in the archway, his eyes meeting mine.

I could tell by the look on his face that he wouldn't say anything, maybe he didn't know what to say.

Instead, he moved toward me, took my hand and pulled me to the couch where we both sat.

I wasn't sure when I lost my composure, or what triggered it. But the next thing I knew I was sobbing into his chest.

He had seen me like this before, to him it was no surprise, and he seemed to be the only person in the entire world that knew how to handle it. He was the only person that could restore my composure.

"It's going to be alright…" He whispered this several times as he brushed my hair back and placed a kiss on my head.

**One month later**

There wasn't much I could do about this anymore, was there?

The damage was done.

For some reason, I felt more sympathy for Edward out of this entire exchange.

How could I have never taken him to meet my father?

What kind of person was I?

I thought of my father, in our little old house, sitting on the old unsightly green upholstered couch, sitting next to Edward, where they exchanged words like they were long lost friends.

How could I have denied either of them that?

I stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around me as I went. I dressed comfortably, throwing on a pair of sweats, a tank top and a cardigan. I dried my hair quickly, and made my way into the kitchen, where Edward stood, glasses on, reading something from his MacBook. I stood in the entryway, and slowly but surely he averted his attention to me.

"What is it?" He asked, a pleasant smile on his lips. I stepped closer, standing on the opposite side of the counter.

"You two would have been really great friends…" It was all I could say, before a tear escaped. Edward sat his coffee cup down, and wrapped his arms around me.

"I bet we would have…" He replied. Kissing my forehead.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled into his chest.

"For what?"

"Never taking you to meet him." I sniffled. There was silence, and I could tell Edward was upset that I felt guilty about this. I pulled away from the embrace. Edward's hands were on my face then.

"You didn't know this was going to happen, you can't blame yourself for it." He kissed me, and pulled me into a hug once more.

We spent the rest of the weekend in bed, talking about my father, and the kind of man that he was. It was the first time that I was willing to talk about him. And Edward took advantage of that. I could tell he felt like he was in the dark for a long time. And that was my fault. I was glad I had the chance to make up for it.

The baby would be here soon, and we were trying our best to focus completely on that. The nursery was complete, right down to the teddy bear perfectly placed in an antique rocking chair in the corner of the room.

I knew that I had to pretend that everything was going just as I wanted it, I had to force myself into feeling happy, even if it meant being happy without my father. I couldn't stress myself out, it wasn't going to change the card I'd been dealt.

**A Few Weeks Later**

I wasn't sure what had caused this

I wasn't even sure how I was supposed to feel about it.

I didn't want to open my eyes, because I knew that reality faced me once I did.

Dealing with my emotions was reality enough for right now.

So I went back to sleep.

I remembered nothing, except for going to sleep, and waking up.

I was unaware of what had happened in the few hours I'd been sleeping that could have sent Edward and I into complete chaos, and eventually into complete solitude.

I remembered feeling his hands shake me awake, and hearing his hushed words only partially as I slowly awoke.

"Bella…..

The baby…

Something's wrong…."

It was mind numbingly surreal.

The entire exchange.

I remembered the pain next, both physical and emotional.

I couldn't quite wrap my mind around the fact that my baby was minutes away from death.

I easily wrapped my mind around the pain as she struggled to survive.

I remembered hearing the sirens.

I remembered hearing my fate.

I remembered falling asleep.

And now I was awake.

And what I had wished was all a nightmare, was reality, and it affected my entire future.

* * *

><p><strong>Songs<strong>

"**Your Song" - Ellie Goulding - Elton John Cover (plays as Bella packs her bags/leaves)**

"**Big Jet Plane" - Angus & Julia Stone - also an Elton John cover (plays while Alice and Jasper are over)**

"**Ghosts that we knew" - Mumford and Sons (Bella miscarries)**

* * *

><p><strong>**!<strong>**A/N!****

**Well, hey, kids!**

**I sort of dropped off the face of the Earth, I know, I know. insert boo-ing and rude gestures here**

**But, either way, I've returned. Sort of. **

**I'm actually going to try and keep up with myself this time. (: **

**A lot of my absence had to do with finishing up my last few months of high school without my head coming unscrewed. **

**But now I'm officially gradumacated. **

**So now I don't have any excuses. **

**So if I don't post anything, I was just too damn lazy.**

**Anyways, Enjoy. **

**I'm going to try and get these chapter things posted on Mondays….because no one likes Mondays, so I'm going to try and make them better without leaving you on a giant cliffhanger. Also that's literally my only day off out of the week, guaranteed. If things get too choppy or I feel like I'm half-assing a chapter, I might hold it for another week and let it marinate in my brain juices. But, that's probably for your own good. (: **

**R & R, please!**


	12. Rough Terrain

**Chapter 12 - Come Love, See My Hands**

"**Rough Terrain"**

**Bella's POV**

I had been awake now for at least a week.

But who was keeping track, why did it matter.

I no longer had a reason to count down days until I saw my baby.

Because my baby was dead.

Simple as that.

None of that reading between the lines bull.

I'd been home since last Friday, two days after I'd found out my baby was stillborn.

Really I should have been emitted to the Psych ward.

Because I haven't felt a thing, or said a word, or moved an inch since I found out.

Edward has.

He's been trying to snap me out of it.

Sitting next to me in our bed, tears streaming down his face.

Not even a blink.

I'm incapable.

If I could move an inch, or feel a thing, or say a word, the first gesture would be made toward Edward.

He's lost something also.

Two things if you count my recent reaction coma.

Still I feel nothing.

And then I feel guilty, which is just about all I've felt since.

I feel no human interaction.

Just my own human thoughts battling against my other human thoughts.

Like a tennis match

Back and forth

Back and forth

And then the final score comes up.

Love to love.

I'm not getting anywhere.

I sit in the chair in the corner of the bedroom, staring out of the large window in front of me.

I feel a tear tumble down my cheek

I hear a door close

My lungs collapse

And I cry.

I hear the phone ring, the machine picks up.

More sympathy.

Alice this time.

I cry.

I leave the bedroom, removing myself from the situation.

I see the nursery.

And I collapse

Right in the middle of her room

I scream until I fall asleep

I wake up in his arms, gliding down the hallway back to the bedroom

I cry.

He cries.

We cry.

I feel.

Guilty

For causing more work for Edward

Sorry

That I can't come out of this

Terrible

That I couldn't save her

Worse

That I'm not trying to fix this

Even worse

That I can only think of negative solutions

Miserable

When I realize that maybe it's too late

I fall asleep.

**Edward's POV**

She's gone.

They're gone

I'm alone

I hear the clock ticking, between her gentle sobs.

And I wrack my brain for hours on end.

I wish I could help her

I wish I was strong enough to carry both of us

I cry

She cries.

I leave to get groceries.

She's asleep in the nursery, again.

I carry her to the bed.

We cry.

I kiss her, she doesn't seem to notice

"I'm sorry." I whisper, but she doesn't respond.

I fall asleep.

**Bella's POV**

I wake up, with a clear mind.

My senses returned to me.

I make a pot of coffee, and Edward joins me soon.

He walks into the room, surprised to see me standing on the terrace, coffee cup in hand.

"Are you alright?" He asks, and I just nod once, and walk back inside.

"Bella?" He says, and my head turns his direction.

"I love you." He says, a million reassuring tones in those three words.

I nod more.

He joins me on the couch

I place my cup on the coffee table

"Can you say something?" He begs, his expression devastated.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked, my voice raspy with exhaustion.

"Anything…." He whispers, looking at the floor

"I love you, too." I reply, before leaving the room, and the coffee cup behind me.

One Week Later

We'd been speaking like this for a week now. And I just figured it was a start.

Still, I couldn't feel much astray from apathy toward him.

Indifference.

I cried as I showered, just to drown out the noise.

No one knew I was still crying everyday, because I did it only in privacy.

Only when the house was empty, or the bathroom door was locked.

I had trouble remembering what it had been like for us, before we moved in together, and before we'd been given the baby to look forward too.

I tried to remember every second that I could.

….. Nothing.

It was all gone.

Edward didn't seem to feel much better either.

He knew that my thoughts were reeling, and I think we both knew that was never good.

I tried to ignore his presence most of the time.

Just to avoid awkward conversation.

I'd tuned the entire world out.

And for those short periods of time in which I felt interaction were necessary, it usually led to some sort of argument, or a snide remark followed by one of us leaving the room.

I felt responsible for it.

I felt selfish.

I hated it.

He was hurting, and I knew it.

But for some reason that couldn't stop me from hurting him.

For hurting us.

I was bitter.

But, realizing my actions couldn't get me to stop making them.

Everyday seemed to be on loop.

Silence in the morning

Separation in the afternoon

Arguments in the evening.

It was the same, everyday.

And I don't think either of us knew why.

I don't think either of us knew what triggered it.

I don't think either of us still had it in us.

I think we're done.

I think he's done.

I know he's done.

I know he's angry.

I know he's sympathetic.

I know he doesn't mean anything he says while we fight.

But knowing all of this doesn't keep me from pretending he does mean what he says while we're fighting.

It doesn't change anything.

And then it's all too much.

And I collapse on the floor of the kitchen, where we've been arguing for the past twenty minutes.

He tends to me, kissing my forehead, apologetic. I shake it off.

I cry.

"Bella…" He begins. "I'm so sorry. Everything's going to be alright. I promise you. I'm never going to give up on you. Never." He says. I stand up, as does he. And I feel the vulnerability of this conversation. And I knock it right back down, severing it's entire existence.

I shout.

"Don't patronize me," I say, anger in my voice. He releases his grip on my arm. He leaves the room. I sit on the couch, and I am silent.

He leaves later.

I pack my bags.

I leave his house. I drive to Forks.

I break his heart, and I ruin our lives

And that was the end of our story.

And it didn't have a happy ending.

But it also wasn't over.

But I didn't know that until now.

I realized a few days later that I'd just left the person who cared about me most, when he needed me most.

I realized that I was a horrible person for what I'd done.

I was selfish.

I was wrong.

It was too late to go back.

I couldn't go back.

I drive to the liquor store, the only one here in forks.

I buy something strong, and I drive back to my father's old house. The one I'd been given after his death, the one that I couldn't find in my heart to sell.

I drink

And I cry.

And I drink more.

And then I pass out.

And I feel nothing for a few hours out of the day.

And it make me feel better.

And the next day,

I do it again.

**Edward's POV**

She's gone.

She left?

I wonder.

I ask everyone.

I call Alice

I call Jasper

I call my parents

I call Tanya

I call Mike.

I call everyone.

She's gone.

I drive, until I can't any longer. I go to Port Angeles for a few days.

We wait.

She's gone.

No note, no word, nothing.

She's just gone.

I explain.

Explain the state of our relationship, to everyone.

They're sorry.

But I don't care.

I need her.

I love her.

She has to come back.

She knows I need her.

She knows I'm never giving up.

But, she left.

And now I have give up.

Because it's what she wants.

And I want her to be happy.

I walk to the liquor store a few blocks from our now empty home.

I drink

And I cry.

And I drink more.

And then I pass out.

And I feel nothing for a few hours out of the day.

And it make me feel better.

And the next day,

I do it again.

And I make it through another week.

And I imagine she does too.

But, I'll never know.

So I drink more.

And the next day.

I do it again.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Songs:

Slow it down - The lumineers (plays at the beginning of the chapter, as they drift into a routine)

Hiding my heart - Adele (bella leaves, they both begin to drink)

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

A/N:

Hey, guys.

So that was not a fun chapter.

The next few probably won't be either.

But sometimes I get impatient.

That probably why It took me so long to write this, because I knew after, I wouldn't be able to stop writing for a while.

But, I'll have something new up soon.

Sorry that every time I say that I'm usually lying. But, hopefully I'm not this time. Haha.

- Sierra


	13. Guilty Pleasure

**Come Love, See My Hands**

**Chapter 13**

"**Guilty Pleasures."**

**Bella's POV**

I've been in Forks for months now.

I've been drunk for months now.

Not today

I sober up, just long enough to remember the date on the calendar.

A year ago today, we were happy.

A year ago today, we had each other.

A year ago today, we were hopeful, and dare I say it.

Ignorant.

That's gone now.

And it won't come back.

I hear a knock on the door, I open it.

Jacob Black.

I know immediately why he's here.

We've been doing this for a while now.

I remember what he looked like when I arrived, baby-faced and innocent

Compared to now, facial hair, red eyes, unsteady gait.

I'm responsible.

I shut the door behind him, flipping the lock over.

He doesn't know I'm sober.

Because I never am by 4 o'clock in the afternoon.

He kisses me, hard.

I'm against the wall.

I'm stripped bare, and then he's atop me.

And I don't stop him.

Because I can pretend that it's Edward.

I can pretend that I love him back.

I can pretend that I was just too drunk to think straight.

I can pretend that it's okay, for now.

He leaves.

I collapse on the floor, and sob until I fall asleep.

I miss him.

I miss us.

I miss being touched gently.

I miss being able to feel innocent during intimate moments such as the one I'd just experienced with Jacob. I didn't feel safe with Jacob. Not like I did with Edward.

I miss feeling safe.

I miss knowing he'd be there in the morning.

I remember the day we spent in bed, just before we left for Christmas in Port Angeles.

I remember how happy we were.

I stand, and walk to the kitchen.

I take the entire bottle of alcohol from the fridge.

I don't bother to grab a glass

I sit on the couch, and drink until I can't feel myself crying.

Alice calls.

I answer.

"Yeah, Alice?"

"Are you ever going to come back?" She asks. I'm silent for a minute. Alice had postponed the wedding until this spring, so she had time to get her figure back after she had the baby.

"I-I, I don't know, Alice." I'm still crying.

"Bella. Edward's a mess. You have to come back.." That doesn't help. I take another drink.

"Sorry." I say, the tears falling again. It sounds sincere.

"The baby's due in a few days. Are you coming back for that?" She asks.

"Yeah, I'll try." I say, voice cracking.

"Bella." She says. I fight back a sob.

"Yeah?" my voice crack again.

"We miss you." She says, her voice cracking now.

"I miss you too." I say before I hang up the phone.

As it starts to get to me, I bite my lip, causing it to bleed.

I take another drink, tears streaking my face.

**Edward's POV**

I lay on the couch, bottle in hand. Almost empty

I finish the bottle of Tequila off, worm and all.

Minutes pass.

_I feel like I'm walking, who knows if I am or not. I stop in the nursery doorway, and I see her, sitting in the rocking chair, a baby wrapped in a pink blanket in her arms. I walk toward her. _

_She stands, places the baby in the crib. And walks right through me. _

She disappears.

_I search, through the entire house. _

_I never find her. _

I wake up on the terrace. Rain falling hard on me.

I hear a knock on the door.

It's Jasper.

I open it, and sit on the couch.

He looks angry.

"Are you finished?" He says, sarcastically.

"What are you talking about?" I snap. He watches as I grab a bottle from the fridge, handing him one also. He pushes it away, and takes mine from my hand.

"Enough." He says. I look at him, angry.

"Sitting here getting drunk all day and sulking is not going to bring her back.. " He says

"Do you honestly think that I don't know that?" I shout. Sick of him trying to tell me something I already know.

"Go get her." He exhales. "She's just as fucked up as you are right now."

"I can't." I shake my head and sit again. "She doesn't want this anymore."

"Bullshit." He snaps.

I look up at him, Jasper didn't talk like this. It was out of character, but I guess all of us were out of character lately.

"You guys were head over fucking heels for each other six months ago. Don't even try and tell me she's over it. Even _Alice and I _aren't over your break-up." He says, and I try and act like I didn't hear him.

"You're both so damn stubborn." He shouts.

"Just stop. You don't understand. When she's hurt, no one can help." I say.

"Except for you. And don't you think that she's hurting more now that she doesn't have you there?" He retorted. "You gave her a choice to leave, there shouldn't have been an option. You _let _her go." Jasper said. He was right. I let her go. I could have stopped her, I could have chased after her. I didn't.

"You're right." I shrugged. I took the bottle from his hand, popped it open and took a long drink as I sat at the kitchen table. Jasper followed, an angry expression on his face. He sat next to me, and took the drink back.

"I said _enough._"

**Bella's POV**

I woke at seven in the evening.

And everything felt the same.

So I took another drink.

Jacob came back at ten.

And his urgent movements had me pretending he was Edward.

Pretending that his hands had moved tenderly across my torso, and treaded softly to the button of my jeans, where they hesitated.

Pretending that just as we attach, his lips glide across mine.

Pretending that my hands are running through his thick, auburn, messy hair. Pretending that we're in love.

And pretending that I'm not cheating on him.

Pretending that I'm not cheating myself.

And then we release, and reality kicks in. And I see Jacob above me, a devilish smirk on his face. I sit up quickly.

And we both realize that this is the first time I've reacted to him like this.

He's still smiling as I remove myself from the bed. I go for the bottle on my dresser, ignoring the fact that its' contents are warm.

He stands, and looks at me.

"It's alright, Bella. It's okay to be attracted to me." He says, kissing me hard. I push him back.

"I can't do this anymore." I whisper. Jacob moves away, his eyes search mine. I continually shake my head.

"What do you mean?" He shakes his head.

"I don't want to hurt you." my voice cracks, as I begin my lie. It would hurt him too much to know I'd been pretending he was Edward every night since we started this.

"What are you saying exactly?" He asked, and the innocent look in his eye is what stopped me. I couldn't lie to Jacob Black. He was a good friend. He deserved better.

We dressed and I asked him to follow me. We sat on the couch in the living room, and I was honest with him. I told him the truth, and he should have been the one upset, not me. I cried while I spoke.

"I still love him." I started. "And I hate saying it, but I've been pretending its been him this entire time."

Jacob looked at me strange.

"You deserve better than this…and I'm truly sorry." I was shocked when I felt his arm wrap around me. He pulled me to his chest.

"Bella, it's going to be okay. It's alright to be upset." He kissed my forehead.

"Why aren't you upset? You should hate me right now." I said.

"Because you're hurting. And that means you feel bad. And that's all I need, to know how sorry you are."

"So you're okay with this?" I look up at him.

"I'm here for you sweetheart. You need me." He paused. And removed his arm from my shoulder. "And who would I be kidding if I said I didn't know how drunk you've been since you came back." He looked down.

"If anything I should be apologizing to you." He took the bottle I had on the coffee table, and took a drink. "I feel like I've been taking advantage of you….you're vulnerable and I know that." I watched him as he spoke.

"Bella." He took my hands in his.

"I've always loved you. And when you moved to Seattle I went through what you're going through now. And I hate myself for taking advantage of you like that. If someone would have done it to me when I couldn't get out of the house. I wouldn't know how to get over it." His eyes were sincere. "I'll understand if _you _can't forgive _me."_

I couldn't remember why I did what I did next. But it was going to throw me for a loop later. Because I hadn't heard much after 'I've always loved you.' And it felt nice. To have someone here who loved me, in that way.

I pushed Jacob back on the couch, and I straddled him.

I kissed him, and this time it was really him.

I slept with Jacob Black.

And it really was Jacob this time.

* * *

><p><strong>Songs:<strong>

**Blindsided - Bon Iver (play throughout the entire chapter.)**

* * *

><p><strong>AN.::**

**Not exactly sure how I even feel about what just happened. **

**But we'll see where it takes us. **

**The next chapter will be longer. **

**And possibly more crowd-pleasing.**


	14. Reality

**Come Love, See My Hands**

**Chapter 14**

"**Reality"**

**Edward's POV**

I sat on the bed as I watched Jasper throw articles of clothing into a suitcase.

Much like I had sat on the terrace last night watching as he dumped every last bit of liquor off the ledge.

I was being forced into sobriety. And it wouldn't feel alright until I _wanted_ to be sober.

A few minutes later he turned to me with a serious expression.

"You're going to go pick her up. Alice gave me the address she's at. She'll need to be here for Alice. If that's the only thing that will get her to come back, use it. She's coming back. End of story. You're killing yourselves."

I didn't say anything. I just looked at him. And then averted my gaze to the mirror on the wall behind him.

I was pale, more than usual.

I had inherited purplish bags under my eyes, and my hair was disarray.

I looked terrible.

Jasper was right.

We were killing ourselves.

I picked up the suitcase, and took the address down on a slip of paper.

"Don't stop driving until you get there." Jasper said, as we waved goodbye.

And I was off.

And for the first time in months, I felt like I had a purpose.

**Bella's POV**

Things felt different this morning, as I turned to the russet skinned man beside me.

They felt stable.

Until I realized what I'd gotten myself into. I stood from the bed, and walked into the bathroom. It took one glance in the mirror for me to lose it.

I collapsed, completely racked with sobs.

What was I doing?

How could I do this to either of them?

What kind of person had I become?

Edward and I were perfect.

Everything was perfect.

And then it wasn't.

But it had been my fault.

I loved him.

Not Jacob.

But after what I'd done last night how would I ever be able to explain that.

How would either of them be able to forgive me?

I'd become completely selfish. Over the past few months, I'd done nothing that was for anyone other than myself.

Nothing.

I cried for about an hour, unable to come to terms with what I'd done. I took a shower, and threw on a pair of sweats and a tank top. When I returned to my room he was gone. A part of me was relieved, the other part knew I would have to explain eventually.

I walked downstairs, and heard him in the kitchen, where he had bags of groceries sitting on the counter, he was putting them away as I entered the room. I wanted so badly to smile at it, to allow myself to be glad to have him here, to be happy that someone was keeping me company, and I wasn't alone.

I couldn't.

Because I knew what I had to tell him.

I knew what I had to do. I moved to the groceries, and put everything back into the bag. He looked at me, confused.

Before he could speak, I did.

"Can you sit? I have something to say…" He sat at the table, and I joined him. My eyes started to water at the sight of him.

"I'm selfish…." I started. "And you can hate me for the rest of your life if it makes you feel better about what I'm about to say…"

"I could never -" He interrupted.

"Let me finish, before I lose the words, Jacob, please." I stopped him.

"I don't love you….." A tear fell, as I finally looked up. "I don't think I ever will. You have no idea how hard it is for me to tell you this either. Because you have no idea that you deserve so much more than what I'm able or willing to give you. You deserve to have someone in your life that can love you completely. You deserve to not be compared to someone else in every action that you make. And I can't do that for you."

He was looking at the table, with a look on his face that I couldn't stand seeing. I wanted terribly to reach out and comfort him, but I didn't. I couldn't.

"What are you saying, exactly?" He whispered. I stood, grabbing the groceries from the counter I handed them to him.

"I think that you should go." I said, more tears falling. "I'm sorry, Jacob." The words were barely audible. He stood, and without looking back, walked out the door. And that was it.

I was alone again.

I spent the rest of the day on the couch. Liquor bottle in hand.

At eight o'clock, when I heard a knock on the door, my stomach dropped. Because I knew it was Jacob. I just knew. And I didn't have anything to say, I had no words of comfort. I opened the door.

**Edward's POV**

I knocked, and stood there. Unsure of what my reaction to her would be. I know what I expected, but expectations and reality were two different things.

She opened the door, and I was taken aback at the sight of her.

She looked like she'd been through every bit as much hell as I'd been through. The only difference was that she still had a bottle in her hand, and she was at rock bottom. She didn't have anyone here to tell her when enough was enough. She had chose to be alone. I was here to change that.

"Edwa-" She choked on the word, and the look in her eyes uncovered her shock.

"Pack your things." was all I could say. She nodded, and I followed her inside. I carried her bags to the car, and she got into the passenger side willingly.

We drove until it was dark, and then I stopped in Tacoma, checking us in to a Hotel room with two beds. She slept in hers soundly, hair wet from her shower, and I sat on the edge of mine. Remembering what it was like to hold her next to me. Remembering the sound of her breathing, remembering her warmth, her smile, her happiness. Remembering that I used to be able to make her smile, remembering that I used to make her happy. She stirred, and I snapped back to reality. I lay back down in my bed, and drifted to sleep.

**Bella's POV**

I woke the next morning feeling the most rested I had in months.

I felt complete.

And as I caught sight of him, in his bed. I almost smiled.

I walked over to him, and sat on the edge of his bed, he didn't stir. I lay next to him on top of the sheet, and I watched as he slept.

I re-memorized the contours of his face.

And I tried to remember the color of his eyes.

The way that the light hit them on those rare sunny days in Seattle.

Revealing flecks of sage, gold, and hazel.

I knew that if he were to wake, It would startle him to have me so close, but I couldn't budge once I'd realized that he was here.

I couldn't shake the euphoria I had acquired since I had awaken.

He stirred, and It took a second for me to realize that he was drifting out of his slumber.

His eyes were blinking, and then they focused on me as I lay next to him. I felt as though every broken piece of me had pulled itself together.

He took me by surprise when his hand moved to rest on my hip, a sly smile touching his lips.

"Good morning." He said, placing a chaste kiss on my forehead. I smiled lightly, for the first time since I'd left Seattle.

And for a moment, we just laid there. Basking in the reality that we were near each other again. And for a moment that was enough.

He sat up, and I echoed him.

We sat, facing each other in the bed.

Saying everything we needed to say, without ever actually saying it.

Or so I thought.

"Why did you do it?" He asked, the vibrations of his voice in the silent room echoed for what seemed like an eternity.

It was the same question I'd been trying to answer since I'd gone.

I still didn't have an answer.

I was sure that I never would.

"I hardly know…." I looked down, fidgeting with my hands. He grew silent, and this was the only time in the entirety of our relationship that for once I wished he would just say something.

I usually enjoyed the fact that we could speak without having to, like we just knew when we needed to say something, and when it was just better not to. We knew when the only thing the other one of us needed was to be held, to be comforted in a way that required not one bit of speaking.

He stood, and I felt my stomach drop.

"We should probably get back on the road." He avoided any eye contact, but mine were glued to him.

"Yeah, probably." I whispered, standing from the bed also. We dressed, left, and arrived in Seattle all without saying a word.

It felt strange being in Seattle again.

And when he pulled into our parking space behind his restaurant, I realized what I had gotten myself into.

I was about to be faced with the memory of everything that we once had.

But that was only fair.

He had been living with the memories for months now.

Every day, he saw everything we had gone through.

And he couldn't escape it.

My heart ached for him.

And I felt a small tear slip out.

He got out of the car, and made his way up the staircase to what used to be _our front door. I sat in the car, frozen. _

_He was well inside before I had composed myself enough to go in. _

_Everything was the same, everything. _

_Songs:_

"_Follow You Down To The Read Oak Tree" - James Vincent McMorrow (Plays when Bella wakes up, realizes her mistakes, tells Jacob she's done.)_

_A/N:_

_Sorry it's been so long since I've written anything. _

_I decided to make this chapter more of a transgression to something more important._

_I kind of just took to the keyboard tonight, so here's Chapter 14. _


End file.
